The "HIGH SCHOOL" Syndrome

[Sazerac]

Thank you once again for reposting this, RD. As I said before, it NEEDS to be said.

Considering the rise of school violence, especially with tragedies like Jonesboro, Arkansas and Littleton, Colorado, it's time everyone rethought the particular disgusting and twisted politics that go on in American high schools. (It may be a worldwide phenomenon for aught I know: to our non-stateside friends, is it as bad in your countries as well?)

One thing is for sure, it's best to leave that stuff where it belongs, in the past, and to carry on with one's life as a mature, rational adult.

Thanks once again!

[Epona]

A lot of this has struck a chord with me - I wasn't popular at school and was bullied badly. This just re-inforced my lack of self confidence and self-esteem. I guess I come across in RL as quite aloof, probably because of what I went through at school, and I am afraid to open up to people as I am worried about being thought of as stupid - my ability to do well intellectually was what I hung onto and what kept me going, and I am very sensitive to anything which may make me or others doubt my intelligence. I find it difficult to disagree with people, in case I am wrong. This can be a bit of a problem, as it looks to others as though I have a superior attitude sometimes, whereas really the opposite is the case.

Moni - I wish you every success in continuing your education. I have just finished my degree having studied evenings and weekends for 4 years as well as working full time, and I feel a great sense of achievement having done so. I also got a lot more out of it than I would have done when I was younger, and it meant more to me personally than it would have done a decade ago. You will find it a challenge, but immensly enjoyable I'm sure. I made some very good friends over those four years, friendships that I know will continue. Good luck!

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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Epona of The Laughing Hyenas

[Waluin]

I think that I had a particular deviation from my peers during that time in high school.

I was most definitely a nerd, and since there were many pampered and popular kids in the private HS I attended I usually just kept to myself and a closed circle of friends, although I believe my behavior is stemmed further in my grade school period for similar reasons. I've never gone to a single dance-related activity in my life, to my regret perhaps.

I know that I have my own personal eccentricisms, but I often have trouble, even now in college, to develop sincere relationships with those in my age group. Granted, I have far more friends now than I ever did due to like-minded individuals encountered in my 2 years so far (thank you Honors dorm!), but there is always a subtle sense of "what if it's me? Am I to blame?" that sometimes strikes. I've had severe bouts with depression, and I still do, but I often realize how good my life is when taken into full calculation and beat it back.

Anyway, good post.


[This message has been edited by Waluin (edited 07-03-2001).]

Perin LightEyes, I graduated in 1979 from a small town High School. Cliques thrived, and the Syndrome was strong. It was noticed with the teachers also I may add. Having brothers or sisters that went before you could make or brake some of your class grades. Expectations were either lowered or raised before you even steped one foot into school.
I was veiwed as a hippy-jock I guess. I was very atheletic and liked to party more so than the normal High Schooler. I didn't really hang out with many close freinds, just frequented the party spots where all the different people met. I was excepted into all folds. Though not many people really cared if I was there or not because I didn't stay to long or hang out with any bunch on a regular basis. I didn't go to any formal dances either. I dressed in mostly jeans and and cotton shirts. PF flyers were my favorite shoes. I didn't get any honors from my school but I did acheive a couple of personal goals thow. History and English were my worst subjects.
This forum is the only on-line community I have known. I can not compare it to any other. I like to be totally myself here and comment to people as I am moved to. I am mybe a little slow to catch on. Having read so many posts tends to make me feel like I know people here which I don't really...yet anyway. (my wife tells me I still beleive in Santa Claus.) So I catch myself commenting to people on threads when they are probably thinking" Who is he and why did he say that."(paranoid effect) If I don't comment on some things mybe they will think I don't like them..? (Syndrome)Or mybe if I e-mail someone here they will think i'm touched.?
I would like to say to you who are still in High School that if you break the ice a little with different people it will benefit you in the end. Try a sport that your good at. Who knows mybe you will get a scholarship. Try a study group or after school rally. Freinds are in the least obvious places! AND DON'T PARTY TO MUCH!

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Conan

Originally posted by Conan: Having brothers or sisters that went before you could make or brake some of your class grades. Expectations were either lowered or raised before you even steped one foot into school.

Man, isn't that the truth! I had a teacher in H.S. take me aside in the hallway for returning the middle finger to a student in his class and ask me just who I thought I was.
I answered, I'm just me! If your students want to flip me off during your class, I'm going to give it back. Maybe you should keep a closer eye on your students!"
He asked me what my name was and when I answered him his mouth fell open and he stuttered lol telling me that he did not believe for one minute that I was even related to that family!
So I told him, "Well, I don't dress up like a Barbie doll and come to school, play your games and then go home, change into jeans and fist fight with my brother (in his comaprison of me to my older sister). What you see is what you get (jeans and t-shirts, no make-up and uncurled hair ) and if you ever have me in any of your classes, you'll see that I am just as good a student, if not better than my sister...I just don't play games. You don't like the way I look or act, that is your problem!"
(being shy did not keep me from speaking my mind when someone wanted a confrontation lol)
I ended up having him for two classes the next year and boy did his attitude ever change when he realized just how intelligent and fast I was. I had finished the whole class halfway through the year and used the rest of the time there to catch other kids up and do word puzzles and mazes that he would time me on.
I broke all records he had previously documented and he was sorry to see me leave.


Moni



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[Bruce The Aussie]

I'm still in high school and i've got M.E. which sucks. i'm personally in the geek circle (very smart, very philosofical, alot of gamers (hardore gamers like me) and very funny)but i'm also respected by alot because of my size and muscle (i'm 6 foot in year 10). i can fit into any crowd if i try but i like the geek crowd. i'm also very shy so i don't join in the conversation much.


BTW moni good for you! my mum got her teaching degree at 40 and now she's moved on to councelling.

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Bruce The Aussie

[Waluin]

Bruce: That's more along what I had. I suppose I could have been a big sports figure, since I'm a big 6 foot 1 polish kid, but I tended to take toward my mother's personality of enjoying reading, writing, and academics. That's not to say I didnt enjoy or like sports, I just wasn't totally into it. I supose, looking at college now, I could easily fit into any type of 'group,' but my true self will always belong to the gamers and geeks. It's who I am. I'm vocal and loud when I absolutely have to be (i.e. Moni's example, among others), but I'm often a quiet listener more than not.

Moni: Bully for you! That 'take no crap attitude' is awesome, and a credit to you.

[This message has been edited by Waluin (edited 07-03-2001).]

[Bruce The Aussie]

well, i can't play sports. my ME prevents me from doing much. Hell, walking over the park tires me out.

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[This message has been edited by Bruce The Aussie (edited 07-03-2001).]

[Fljotsdale]

Originally posted by Moni: You know, Fljotsdale, I am pretty shy myself and a lot of people have considered me to be a snob because of it. I don't let it hurt me though because if these people aren't going to take the time or make the effort to get to know me, then it is their loss. Some people would rather just consider you a snob and write you off than to make the effort and find out they were wrong. Shy people have to reach out to others if they are going to break that stereotype though...as hard as it is, once the ice is broken, making friends with people becomes easier. It is just that breaking of the ice stage that I can't get past sometimes even now. Moni

Yes, shy people DO have to do the reaching out - but it SO much harder for them than it is for anyone else, lol! I started when I was 15. I just couldn't tolerate the thought of going through the rest of my life being afraid to talk to people! So I started saying 'hello' to old ladies at the bus stop. (The first time was SO difficult! I made lots of false starts at different times before I finally managed a 'hello'!). It was all I needed to say, too! The old ladies ALWAYS chatted away quite happily and I only needed to say 'mm' from time to time to keep the conversation going, lol!
People who know or meet me now have no idea how shy I was. I still feel a hint of it if I have to converse with a shy person, but I find I can keep a conversation going and let THEM say 'mm', now! Also, asking for an opinion encourages them to respond a little more - even if only to say 'I don't know' - and to feel you are interested, giving them more confidence to respond.
Anyway, I have bags of confidence now and can chat to anybody. Too much, probably. I will turn into a garrulous old lady....... Um. I guess I already AM a garrulous old lady, lol!

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[This message has been edited by Fljotsdale (edited 07-03-2001).]

[jabidas]

Hmmmm Im not one of the popular kids either it dosnt bother me the kids who are fall into two catagories, loud stupid and arrogant or louder stupider and more arrogant. Im told by them, them being them who are them who make up the school silent majority of lick ups and losers that I am insane and wrong. I know this is true but then normal people can be so dull. A little off topic but I object to the generalising of people putting them into groups and so forth but anyway. High school and as its called here in Ireland secondary school is a waste of life and the people who thrive on being part of the group are human garbage and i am so bored of it. i could tell you stories but I could be prosecuted and I dont tell tails.

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