02-11-2006, 01:54 PM | #1 |
Xanathar Thieves Guild
Join Date: March 17, 2001
Location: Wichita, KS USA
Age: 61
Posts: 4,537
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How do these people survive?
ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy." FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies. SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich. SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid!"_
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To those we have lost; May your spirits fly free. Good Music: Here. Interesting read, one of my blogs. |
02-11-2006, 02:30 PM | #2 | |
Lord Soth
Join Date: July 25, 2002
Location: Melbourne FL
Age: 60
Posts: 1,971
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Quote:
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02-11-2006, 03:14 PM | #3 |
Gold Dragon
Join Date: August 6, 2004
Location: North East England
Age: 34
Posts: 2,561
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The best was the one about the colander and the photocopier...priceless.
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02-11-2006, 04:26 PM | #4 | |
The Dreadnoks
Join Date: September 27, 2001
Location: Orlando, FL
Age: 61
Posts: 3,608
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Quote:
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The Lizzie Palmer Tribute Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John F. Kennedy 35th President of The United States The Last Shot Honor The Fallen Jesus died for our sins, and American Soldiers died for our freedom. If you don't stand behind our Soldiers, please feel free to stand in front of them. |
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02-11-2006, 05:19 PM | #5 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: September 15, 2002
Location: Kennewick, WA
Age: 52
Posts: 3,166
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I wonder if any of these people were blond...?
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02-11-2006, 06:03 PM | #6 |
Xanathar Thieves Guild
Join Date: March 17, 2001
Location: Wichita, KS USA
Age: 61
Posts: 4,537
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Due to the blonde nature of the original poster, me, I doubt it...
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To those we have lost; May your spirits fly free. Good Music: Here. Interesting read, one of my blogs. |
02-11-2006, 06:12 PM | #7 |
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
Join Date: November 3, 2001
Location: Canada
Age: 63
Posts: 2,871
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Are those true?
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02-11-2006, 06:47 PM | #8 | |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Quote:
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53.7% of all statistics are made up |
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02-11-2006, 08:02 PM | #9 |
Legion Symbol
Join Date: May 29, 2002
Location: Somewhere in between
Age: 39
Posts: 7,029
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Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed. Especially the last on the list.
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Skydracgrrl: Cruelty, thy name is Cal! --- There are none so blind as those who refuse to see, none so deaf as those who refuse to hear, and none so smelly as those who refuse to bathe. |
02-11-2006, 08:33 PM | #10 | |
40th Level Warrior
Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
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Quote:
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