Funniest Gaming Events (feel free to add to it)

[Kaz]

I haven't played very much RP yet (haven't found a group with room for a newbie) but sometime a couple of weeks ago, the group my friend plays with had a bit too few people (they were three) so I could play.
This is DSA (what's it called in English, anyone know?), not DnD btw.

Anyways, our party begins in a tavern in a village. The mayor begs us to help his village against a marauding dragon (um... dragon? We're all lvl 1, you know...) but being chivalric, we decide to help them (well, we had to drag our thief along). Our party was me (a half-elven ranger type), a half-elven adventurer, a mercenary (who behaved like a barbarian), and a thief.
Well, we follow the trail of the dragon (trail of dead cows and charred trees), and come to the entrance of a cave. Our half-elven adventurer nobly decides to explore. He wants to use his invisibility ability. Quite unfortunately, this only works with your body, so he started to take off all his clothes (the thief and I are both female). We both decently look away, and when we look back, he's gone. However, the dragon inside sees through the invisibility, and breathes fire at him. He yells. Hearing this, the thief and I run in (me because I'm a good chivalric ranger, the thief didn't want to until the DM told her she was in love... ROFL...). At the same time, the invisible guy runs out - we don't see him of course. I nearly get toasted by the dragon and shout. The adventurer grabs a sword and other pieces of armor, straps them on and runs back in, dragging the mercenary (who'd stared at the commotion with interest) with him. Of course, he's still invisible, so you can basically see a sword and some clothes running around.
We somehow managed to kill the dragon (it was a very weak one). Looking at the corpse... hm... strange, this dragon is only one foot long. I thought it was larger than that? Our barbarian-mercenary skins it (he wants dragon-scale armor), but the skin isn't even enough to make gloves. In any case, everybody except the merc goes back into the cave to look around. The mercenary, whose player was somewhat bored...
Merc: I eat the dragon.
DM: You what?
Merc: I eat the dragon.
DM (slightly hysterical): Do you cook it?
Merc: No, raw.
DM: WHY?
Merc: I'm hungry.

That was my first and rather bizarre PnP adventure. The story isn't as funny as the others here, but it was certainly hilarious while we were playing!

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Don't sell yourself short, Kaz.

That was a very entertaining story. I especially liked the naked, invisible half-elf running around. It takes some MAJOR chutzpah to walk into a dragon's lair buck-naked.

The part about the merc eating the dragon was funny too. I love it.

[Redblueflare]

These are Hilarous! I can't wait until I get a Pen&Paper set! [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Sazerac]

Here's some more cool ones (not my own, but hilarious just the same!) Cerek, Kaz, and everyone else, those are great! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] Keep 'em coming! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

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"We were playing a D&D game with a mage that collected odd spells and trinkets. For the most part, he was annoying -- until we had to interrogate a bandit.

Of course the fighter and the thief did the standard "I pick my teeth with a dagger while we're interrogating him" thing (which I think is way overused and lame to begin with -- and, apparently, so did our eclectic mage)...

While out of view, the mage spinkled his dagger with this powder he'd gotten from the last town which made anything non-living eatable (in case you're starving or something). Then the mage went and stood next to the fighter and the thief, looked right at the bandit, and took a big old bite out of his dagger!

The bandit talked."

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"The group was on the way to see a wild mage, whom everyone in the town had described as insane. On the way, the elf thief managed to anger two mountain lions protecting their cubs. The orc of the group quickly smashed both, and that crazy elf stuck her head BACK into the lions' den. The group suddenly found themselves the adoptive parents of five cute "kitties." When they reached the wizard and went inside to talk to him, he tried to create a bowl of cat food for the hungry cubs. This is how it went:

(Roll for level variation) 9. For a level 11 character, that's a wild surge.

(Roll for wild surge) 90. Consult table: "Spell has 60' radius centered on target (all within radius suffer the effect)."

I think for a minute. Then:
"The figure waves a hand toward a spot on the floor. There is a pop, and the floor is suddenly covered with bowls of cat food. The cats are startled, but after hesitating, attack the food."

"The figure says, 'I hate it when that happens.'"

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"In a game I was DMing I decided to be a little humorous. On the way to an important destination, the group was ambushed in a forest by a group of sprites. Since the group was greatly outnumbered they ran out of the forest in panic.

On the way back they entered the same forest, but all they found was a dumb hill giant.

PC: Who are you?
Giant: Me Ugg!
PC: We'll just be leaving.

A sprite flew by and Ugg grabbed it. He then squeezed it dry, forcing all the blood to drip into a small bottle.

Ugg: Drink sprite!
PC: Uh....That's okay.
Ugg: You no like Ugg's drink?
PC: No, we loooooove Ugg's drink.

I rewarded the character's bravery by saying the potion restored a few HP. The players thought that was hilarious so I had Ugg open his own bar, selling things like brownies, pudding, and -- of course -- sprite."

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Perhaps the most interesting NPC that I've encountered was an orc named Zardos, who was hit on the head -- rather hard -- when he was very young. Since this time, he has consistently believed himself to be an elven ranger. It's rather humorous when the large orc strolls into the unwary village and the villagers begin to raise shouts of "Orc! Orc!"

Zardos, whose hated race is orcs, pulls his two heavy swords and cries back, "Orc....Where?"

(comment mine): Now all he needs is a miniature Giant Space Hamster!

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"A wizard, known only to the party as "The Magus," had it in for the 15-year-old wizard NPC travelling with us. All of us were incredibly protective of the boy, and so when this Magus fellow began trying to kidnap him, we fought him. We schemed, we plotted. Every plan we came up with to keep our NPC friend safe, the Magus seemed to know in advance. The party began to become suspicious of one another, because our GM had this habit of pulling players into the other room to give us little 15-minute briefings on weird dreams our characters were having, observations we made that others didn't see, and the like.

We turned the Magus aside on numerous occasions, but finally, he managed to get the boy and take him to an ancient place of power to be sacrificed. We followed and fought. And none of us seemed to think it strange that when the Magus hit us particularly hard, he would heal us back up again -- until we finally learned the truth. The Magus had travelled back in time to destroy the boy, because the boy would grow up to be him. He had seen the destruction caused by his own hands, had seen the deaths of every member of our party, and this was his strange attempt at repentance."

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"Viandine was the first character I played in a non-freeform RPG. I chose her occupation accordingly. She was registered as a fighter/cleric, of course, because this was a classical RPG, but what had her calling been before she was a hero?

She was a psychiatrist.

From the minute she joined the party, she was the comic relief. She psychoanalyzed everyone from the thief to the resident mage ("Couldn't your magical focus be attributed to your dislike of sports and physical contact as a child?"), and what's more, she actually gained legitimate game skills along her journey, becoming a level six in each of her useful classes. Unfortunately, she was not to be a true heroine; she was killed by a demonic something-or-other that our GM dredged up to scare the party out of its wits. I'm pleased to say, however, that she remained a psychiatrist even when she uttered the words that would be her last to the very thing that killed her:

"Would you like to talk about it?"

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Cheers,

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

What a wonderful thread, this reminds me of an adventure with my human barbarian Uggh. Now Uggh did have an INT score of 6 so he wasn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer. Being big and brawny he was also quite clumbsy. So our party was sneaking into a dungeon looking for some rare relic or another and our theif was sneaking ahead to decect for traps, while the rest of the party was camped in this dungeon. Now Uggh had previously stumbled upon the corpse of a dwarf and had gained possession of several bottles of his fine 190 proof dwarven liquor. Anyways, Uggh was always the kind of guy to take a problem head on. So while our thief was sneaking ahead, Uggh and our dwarven cleric, Erik, were sneaking shots of 100 year old dwarven liquor. In our theives travels he recognizes the back of a basalisk, so he turns around and runs back to the party to warn them, not knowing that the basalisk had smelled him and was in hot pursuit. So the thief gets back and see Uggh completely smashed and Erik passed out. he frantically tries to explain the Uggh the danger they are and how they should be going. Uggh hearing about a basalisk started screaming in a drunken stupor something about "come and get me little basket thingy. . . come out and fight me. . .etc" just then the basalisk rounds the corner to where the party was camped. the theif immediately runs, so that just leaves our passed out dwarf and Uggh. Uggh being so drunk he couldn't see straight avoided being turned to stone by the basalisk. He grabbed his trusty club and walked right up to it and smashed it on the noggin, which only succeeded in pissing the basalisk off, and splintering his club. Now the basalisk knocked Uggh back with a wave of his claw, and Uggh was sprawled out on the floor next to Erik. Uggh still wanting to fight and looking for a waepon grabbed the first thing that looked like a club that came into his drunken sight. you guessed it Erik the passed out dwarf. He grabbed Erik by the feet and swung him clumbsily at the basalisk, which of course he missed. Erik in typical dwarven fasjion was wearing a spiked viking style helmet, and when Uggh missed the basalisk the helmet, dwarf and all got stuck into one of the wooden pillars holding up the dungeon that we were in. Uggh got clawed by the basalisk again, and was none to happy about losing his weapon,ran over and yanked on the dwarf trying to free him from the pillar. Which failed that round. Now After getting attacked by the basalisk again that round Uggh was in pretty bad shape, but he did need a weapon and the only thing he could see was the dwarf so he yanked again. this time he succeeded in freeing the dwarf, along with the pillar from its foundation. Uggh and his "weapon" stubmled away as the tunnel collapsed on the basalisk. Uggh was very unhappy about losing his liquor, and Erik woke up with a splitting headache, and our theif just wondered what in the world happened.

[Cerek the Barbaric]

AzRael, that was priceless.

My college roommate and I learned AD&D together. Aside from the guy who taught us the game (JL), he was one of the BEST natural DM's I ever saw. His games were always challenging and entertaining.

One of the best ideas he ever came up with was a magical-trap - of sorts. Here's how it worked.

The party enters a large room in the dungeon. The only thing of interest is a chamber at the far end of the room. There is no light inside the chamber, but there are 2 rows of benches in front of it. The front of the chamber has a row of windows, but there are no doors of any type. Eventually, the party finds the "triggering device"...this can be a large gem set into the chamber wall, a rune inscribed on the floor, or a jewel in the eye of a statue on the other side of the room, etc.

As soon as any character touches or sets off the "trigger"..they are HEALED of all damage and teleported inside the chamber. However, NONE of their equipment (including clothes) goes with them. They appear inside the chamber stark naked. A rack of normal weapons they are proficient with appears beside them. At the same time...an exact clone of the character appears at the far end of the chamber with a rack of weapons beside it. The clone is an exact duplicate of the character in every way...except alignment....which is the diametric opposite of the original characters. This alignment clash among clone and original will lead to an instant fight...both parties will consider the other an "aberration" that must be eliminated.


The rest of the party sees their comrade appear inside the chamber, but cannot help in any way...there is NO way to influence what happens inside the chamber. All they can do is take a seat on the benches and watch the fight.

When the fight is over, the "winner" is HEALED of all damage again and teleported back into the main room.

If the original character wins...he/she gets appropriate individual experience points and all of his/her stuff back. If the clone wins, the player has the option of playing thier character under the new alignment.

{SIDENOTE} Mages and clerics CAN cast spells inside the chamber, but since it is your basic 10x10 enclosed room, [i]Fireballs will roast BOTH characters...so it is best to avoid "Area of Effect" spells.

The original alignment could be regained through magical means, such as a Helm of Opposite Alignment, Wish spell, or any other means the DM deems appropriate. And - yes - the clone COULD grab the triggering device and teleport BACK into the chamber. If he loses, the player would regain his former character....but keep in mind that the clone would NOT want to change alignments and probably would NOT want to risk being destroyed so soon after being "activated".

The really funny part of the dungeon my roommate first ran this in was that he had told me about this whole set-up BEFORE running the dungeon (you know, when you come up with a REALLY good idea...you just HAVE to tell somebody). Well that gave me an advantage since I knew what the triggering device was going to be. I promised him I wouldn't spoil the trap by warning the party about it though. It turned out to be a moot point. I played a thief and took some heavy damage on the way into the dungeon. When we reached the room with the chamber, there was no sign of the "triggering device" he had showed me...but there WAS a very fancy, jewel-encrusted sword sticking out of a stone. A plaque on the stone read "GRASP THIS AND BE HEALED"

Well, I suppose you can GUESS the rest of the story........I knew the trap was there and fell for it anyway.

[ 03-08-2002: Message edited by: Cerek the Barbaric ]

[Attalus]

Hey, Sazerac, were you in Denton during the late '70s? i did a lot of gaming there, then.

[Sazerac]

quote:

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Originally posted by Attalus:
Hey, Sazerac, were you in Denton during the late '70s? i did a lot of gaming there, then.

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No, I was in Louisiana then. I didn't move to Denton until the mid-80's.

Actually, a couple of my students are BIG into AD&D 2nd ed. gaming and after this session is over I may join them for some PnP.

Cheers,

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

yeah this makes me want to pull out the old pen and paper set as well. I think I still have a few old Ravenloft DM guides if anyone wants to go a round against old Strahd, let me know?

[Neb]

Just a bump [img]tongue.gif[/img] These stories are amazingly hilarious [img]smile.gif[/img]