Here's Everyone's Horoscopes! - Page 3

Elif Godson · 08-01-2002, 10:02 AM

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Bad day to call someone a "whiney gen-x cybercowboy". Tomorrow's better, for that one.

Ya know I so wnated to call someone this today

Lioness · 08-01-2002, 01:35 PM

I knew I slept to late today...

Mermaid thingy here.

Quote:

Originally posted by ladyzekke:

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will be followed by an evil-looking man in an old green Ford pickup truck. Surprisingly, it will turn out that following people is just his hobby, and you have nothing to worry about.

*looks around and screams*

LOL! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

Calaethis Dragonsbane · 08-01-2002, 01:43 PM

*snigger* I'm sorry but those horoscopes, or at least "mine" are absolutly one hundred percent WRONG about me. btw, I was born in march, on the 11th, and my thing is sooooooooo wrong I simply laugh. Im sorry I cant help it.,

Cloudbringer · 08-01-2002, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ladyzekke:
LOL, I didn't realize Sis that your scopio referred to clouds! HAHA! Well just use it as a little reminder that you need to "keep a little cloud" in your life LOL, i.e, keep "Cloudbringer" around here when you are able [img]smile.gif[/img]

Mine says I've been having a deep debate with a potato LOL, and the potato won! [img]graemlins/crying.gif[/img] I knew I shoulda made friends with the corncob instead!

LOL! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] My sis, the corncob and potato lovin gal...

Now that sounds like a Jerry Springer show! HAHAHAHA!

I'll keep coming 'round as much as possible!

I'm away this weekend but Monday I'll be here a bit! And maybe tonight too

Cloudbringer · 08-01-2002, 03:22 PM

Elif.... [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] now that's a good one!

umm.. Cal, dear? They're all jokes- not supposed to be remotely like you..if they are.. we have a problem! LOL

"Hello, potato-talkers anonymous? My sis needs help....."

[ 08-01-2002, 03:23 PM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]

Ladyzekke · 08-01-2002, 06:14 PM

Yes, these are not real horoscopes (if you believe in that kind of thing), they are fake joke ones. Yes they aren't actually flattering LOL, but that is what makes them so funny!

I'll keep an eye out for ya sis if you can log on this evening [img]smile.gif[/img]

Ladyzekke · 08-01-2002, 06:17 PM

August 1, 2002

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Bad juju today. Stay well clear of West African carved figurines.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You should look into some of that new "dream interpretation" software. That recurring dream about being naked in a hot tub with the Pope and Bill Gates is probably a really common one.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You're in luck! What you thought was existential nausea is really only a mild case of salmonella poisoning. So you can sell back that Complete Works of Jean-Paul Sartre.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will notice an odd stone "egg" in an antique shop. Don't bring it home. They're very hungry right after they hatch.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good day to act sneaky. Try glancing sidelong at people, or standing just out of sight.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Following up on your accidental observation of the "sock dimension" (remember that sock you saw re-materializing a while back?), you will invent a machine to let you cross over the dimensional barrier. Sadly, you'll be one dimension off, and will pop into the lost pen & pencil dimension, where you will be severely poked.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Better have that spot checked out by a doctor. Sure it may look benign, but sometimes those carpet stains can spread.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
This is a good time to get out there and make a difference! I'm often tempted to do that, but I just can't figure out where "there" is -- every time I get there, it's here. Maybe if I run really fast? Oh well, if you figure it out, be sure to make a difference.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
At this point you have two choices: you can either get a haircut, or dye your hair white and black and pretend to be an old english sheepdog. The latter is usually more fun, but slightly less practical.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
High winds today. Good day to try out your new cement kite!

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will hear a mysterious "whapping" sound as you are passing by a church today. Curiosity will get the better of you, and you will peek inside. To your relief you will discover it's only the nuns, playing a quick game of dodge-ball.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Try to praise in public and criticize in private. Just never, ever, criticize privates.

[ 08-01-2002, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: ladyzekke ]

LennonCook · 08-02-2002, 03:21 AM

LOL!! All quite good [img]smile.gif[/img]

Ladyzekke · 08-02-2002, 09:14 PM

FRIDAY'S HORRORSCOPE:

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will become a digger. Dig, dig, dig. That's all you'll think of, for months. You will discover an amazingly large diamond, about 27 feet down, and will be fabulously rich after that. Not that you'll give me any credit, of course. Ingrate!

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A package will arrive for you today, from a distant relative in Tibet. Scarlet-robed assassins will begin following you.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Once you're that far behind, there's really no way to get caught up. You might as well do something fun instead. You can tell them I told you it was ok.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Sometimes you need to take one step back to make two steps forward. In this case, you'll need to go considerably further back.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Soon you will start work on a mystery novel, "The Curse Of The Mummy's Nose", told from the point of view of your cat, Erik.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)
People will tease you about wearing your golf shoes indoors. Don't you mind them, though -- they're undoubtedly just jealous.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
If you're not already a vegetarian, you will be. Someone with the initial "E." will make sure of that. Ed? Ernest? Dunno. Someone like that. E. Coli, is what I see. Odd name, huh? Sounds Italian.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may make you worry. I wouldn't though -- it's just a vitamin B12 deficiency.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Beware of bubonic plague today. Other than that, things will be fairly normal.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will discover a small flaw in your character. Meditation and Ginseng tea might clear it up. Or if not that, then a few gallons of cheap wine and an adventure involving a cart filled with garbage, some gold coins, and a goat.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Yesterday's bathtub mystery will be explained today. Still, you'll have no idea what to feed the penguin. Pizza might work, I'd think.

08-01-2002, 10:02 AM	#21
Elif Godson Dracolich Join Date: August 28, 2001 Location: Hurricane Valley Age: 51 Posts: 3,089	Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Bad day to call someone a "whiney gen-x cybercowboy". Tomorrow's better, for that one. Ya know I so wnated to call someone this today __________________ Children get Arthritis too! http://awtampa.kintera.org/jaaware

08-01-2002, 01:43 PM	#23
Calaethis Dragonsbane Legion Symbol Join Date: May 29, 2002 Location: Somewhere in between Age: 39 Posts: 7,029	snigger I'm sorry but those horoscopes, or at least "mine" are absolutly one hundred percent WRONG about me. btw, I was born in march, on the 11th, and my thing is sooooooooo wrong I simply laugh. Im sorry I cant help it., __________________ Skydracgrrl: Cruelty, thy name is Cal! --- There are none so blind as those who refuse to see, none so deaf as those who refuse to hear, and none so smelly as those who refuse to bathe.

08-01-2002, 03:22 PM	#25
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	Elif.... [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] now that's a good one! umm.. Cal, dear? They're all jokes- not supposed to be remotely like you..if they are.. we have a problem! LOL "Hello, potato-talkers anonymous? My sis needs help....." [ 08-01-2002, 03:23 PM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ] __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

08-01-2002, 06:14 PM	#26
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	Yes, these are not real horoscopes (if you believe in that kind of thing), they are fake joke ones. Yes they aren't actually flattering LOL, but that is what makes them so funny! I'll keep an eye out for ya sis if you can log on this evening [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ Reality Show Recaps

08-01-2002, 06:17 PM	#27
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	August 1, 2002 Aries (March 21 - April 19) Bad juju today. Stay well clear of West African carved figurines. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You should look into some of that new "dream interpretation" software. That recurring dream about being naked in a hot tub with the Pope and Bill Gates is probably a really common one. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) You're in luck! What you thought was existential nausea is really only a mild case of salmonella poisoning. So you can sell back that Complete Works of Jean-Paul Sartre. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) You will notice an odd stone "egg" in an antique shop. Don't bring it home. They're very hungry right after they hatch. Leo (July 23 - August 22) Good day to act sneaky. Try glancing sidelong at people, or standing just out of sight. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) Following up on your accidental observation of the "sock dimension" (remember that sock you saw re-materializing a while back?), you will invent a machine to let you cross over the dimensional barrier. Sadly, you'll be one dimension off, and will pop into the lost pen & pencil dimension, where you will be severely poked. Libra (September 22 - October 22) Better have that spot checked out by a doctor. Sure it may look benign, but sometimes those carpet stains can spread. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) This is a good time to get out there and make a difference! I'm often tempted to do that, but I just can't figure out where "there" is -- every time I get there, it's here. Maybe if I run really fast? Oh well, if you figure it out, be sure to make a difference. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) At this point you have two choices: you can either get a haircut, or dye your hair white and black and pretend to be an old english sheepdog. The latter is usually more fun, but slightly less practical. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) High winds today. Good day to try out your new cement kite! Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) You will hear a mysterious "whapping" sound as you are passing by a church today. Curiosity will get the better of you, and you will peek inside. To your relief you will discover it's only the nuns, playing a quick game of dodge-ball. Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Try to praise in public and criticize in private. Just never, ever, criticize privates. [ 08-01-2002, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: ladyzekke ] __________________ Reality Show Recaps

08-02-2002, 03:21 AM	#28
LennonCook Jack Burton Join Date: November 10, 2001 Location: Bathurst & Orange, in constant flux Age: 37 Posts: 5,452	LOL!! All quite good [img]smile.gif[/img]

08-02-2002, 09:14 PM	#29
Ladyzekke Ironworks Atomic Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Virginia, U.S.A. Age: 57 Posts: 9,005	FRIDAY'S HORRORSCOPE: Aries (March 21 - April 19) Today you will realize that it seems quite impossible to make any sense out of life, especially when you consider what life must be like in Nebraska. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Today you will become a digger. Dig, dig, dig. That's all you'll think of, for months. You will discover an amazingly large diamond, about 27 feet down, and will be fabulously rich after that. Not that you'll give me any credit, of course. Ingrate! Gemini (May 21 - June 20) A package will arrive for you today, from a distant relative in Tibet. Scarlet-robed assassins will begin following you. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) Once you're that far behind, there's really no way to get caught up. You might as well do something fun instead. You can tell them I told you it was ok. Leo (July 23 - August 22) Sometimes you need to take one step back to make two steps forward. In this case, you'll need to go considerably further back. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) Soon you will start work on a mystery novel, "The Curse Of The Mummy's Nose", told from the point of view of your cat, Erik. Libra (September 22 - October 22) People will tease you about wearing your golf shoes indoors. Don't you mind them, though -- they're undoubtedly just jealous. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) If you're not already a vegetarian, you will be. Someone with the initial "E." will make sure of that. Ed? Ernest? Dunno. Someone like that. E. Coli, is what I see. Odd name, huh? Sounds Italian. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) You will see an ancient symbol appearing in the whorls of your fingerprints. That, combined with the dreams of apocalypse may make you worry. I wouldn't though -- it's just a vitamin B12 deficiency. Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) Beware of bubonic plague today. Other than that, things will be fairly normal. Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) You will discover a small flaw in your character. Meditation and Ginseng tea might clear it up. Or if not that, then a few gallons of cheap wine and an adventure involving a cart filled with garbage, some gold coins, and a goat. Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Yesterday's bathtub mystery will be explained today. Still, you'll have no idea what to feed the penguin. Pizza might work, I'd think. __________________ Reality Show Recaps

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