Funny stories

[johnny]

A radio station in the Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to find the most
embarrassing moments in listeners lives. The following are the final four place getters

4th place
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able
to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from
other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself
right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in
the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!".
The silence was deafening, after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what
they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter
in tow. The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.

3rd place
It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for
the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after
making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I
give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have
time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and
a whole crowd of people yelled, "surprise". My entire family, aunts, uncles, and parents,
cousins and all of my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot
in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one
in my family has planned a surprise party again.


2nd place
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checkout,
she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the public address system and boomed out for
all the store to hear.
"PRICE CHECK ON LANE13.TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word
"Tampax" for "Thumbtacks".
In a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address system,
"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?"

1st place
This one happened at a major Australian University. In a biology lecture, a professor was
discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
A young female fresher, raised her hand and asked,
"If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as in sugar?"
"That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add some statistical data.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked,
"Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red
and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up
her books, and without a word walked out of the class and never returned.
However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a classic.
Totally straight-faced, he answered her question,
"It doesn't t aste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat!"

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt."
William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

[Arnabas]

Lol. Nice ones. I think I'd just die on the spot.

[NiceWorg]

Ouch... I´d pass out.

[Sir Goulum]

Lol! I love the first one!

[Downunda]

1st and 2nd place did it for me

[Sir Goulum]

Originally posted by Downunda: 1st and 2nd place did it for me

Lol! The 2nd was good too! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

[Paladin2000]

The No 1. was the best of all. [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

[antryg]

Strange that nobody picked number 3. I would hazard a guess that those who have responded already are not parents. All of them were great. [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

[Redblueflare]

#3 I would've *murdered* all! After I put on some clothes lol!




[ 10-30-2002, 12:25 AM: Message edited by: Redblueflare ]

[chrisofthedale]

I feel sorry for parents sometimes, really the things we do to them, blackmail, embarass and so forth im gonna go give my mom a hug . . .