Should you smack your children?

The one thing I was sad not to see int his thread is anyone with teens posting on how they handle their teens. Sean is sneaking up on it quick and I am looking forward/dreading him becomming a teenager [img]smile.gif[/img]

One of those happy/sad things [img]smile.gif[/img] I may even have to come back here and eat my own words.....time will tell.

[Grojlach]

Originally posted by Avatar: Oh and why did Groj smack me? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i wanna my mommy! [img]graemlins/agree.gif[/img]

What?? Telling upon me as well?
*cracks knuckles*


[ 05-16-2002, 04:23 PM: Message edited by: Grojlach ]

[Avatar]

MagiK please read above post of mine as I have modified it.

Well you certainly made it entertaining and fast paced... I am still reading the details.. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I see where you are coming from, myself brought up under Chinese culture (this itself is a thread ).

[Avatar]

Originally posted by Grojlach: quote: Originally posted by Avatar: Oh and why did Groj smack me? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i wanna my mommy! [img]graemlins/agree.gif[/img]

What?? Telling upon me as well?
*cracks knuckles*
[/QUOTE] Mommy! He tried tp hit me real hard but missed [img]tongue.gif[/img] Why is he being mean? Me no understand.. is it because i took those sweets last weekend? me no wanna get hurt... he could just tell me it's bad rather than hit me.. [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Originally posted by Avatar: Hi everyone [img]smile.gif[/img] The last post I read was post number 3. Now that I'm back after a few hours, a raging argument is fully thrown across this topic. Here is what I think: Frankly I don't know if I would. I think the situation is a major factor. I mean, if you asked me to actively think about it as I am asking you to do so, then I guess no... but there might be cases where a gentle bottom smacking is in order BUT NEVER anything that will hurt! Just a playful pinch! I could never do that. Can everyone chill and calm down? No one is right on this issue as it is totally up to the person. Just state your case an dreason and keep out of other people's. Oh and why did Groj smack me? waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i wanna my mommy! [img]graemlins/agree.gif[/img] CHILL everyone! And have some fruit juice [img]tongue.gif[/img] MagiK: Cultual Backgrounds are a major influence on how you teach your kids as well as what aspirations you have for your kids. If you want your kids to be well brought up, excellent manners..etc. fine. But please don't devalue what others think because you should appreciate what standards different people have. I am saying that we all have different and varying demands on our kids and therefore depending on our own bringing up...etc. Everyone is different. P.S. Not sure what your PM meant MagiK.. sorry! [img]smile.gif[/img] Catalina: Good point on how one would react if someone else hit their kid(s). I know I would be darn angry but if it was a very legit reason I might not go beserk [img]tongue.gif[/img] . Here is a Question: Just how many of you have actually been smacked more than once or twice as a child here? My thanks. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Well not that I kept count or anything...but I can recall a dozen or so instances where I got ....vigourous spankings....of all of them..I will admit I deserved all but 2 ....but I don't hold those two against my dad, because I accept that he is human and that he made a mistake...we moved on and got over the past. Ohh I deserved all but 2 of the spankings I can remember...however comma I will admit there were a few things I got away with...and I remember at the time calculating the odds of getting caught and having to endure the spanking [img]smile.gif[/img] I did however learn at a very very early age NEVER NEVER lie to my dad...he caught every one I ever told.

Reread your post Avatar [img]smile.gif[/img] and I do agree with you. I am really not against "not spanking" children...as long as you keep them under control and don't let them go berserk in public. I also do approve of spanking as a method of punishment. Which is what I started out wanting to put accross. Whatever method you DO use must be effective otherwise you are letting your responsibility as a parent go.

Cerek touched on a point too..kids will test the limits their parents set, I truely believe for them to feel loved and cared about you have to set those limits as a parent...and be consistant about it.

[ 05-16-2002, 04:32 PM: Message edited by: MagiK ]

[Ar-Cunin]

Originally posted by Avatar: Here is a Question: Just how many of you have actually been smacked more than once or twice as a child here? My thanks. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I feel a bit like you Avatat - I've been gone a few hours and there's a 4 page thread [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img] - When I saw it I was sure it was an old one that had been dug up due to the ADD/ADHD-thread

To answer your question - I've been hit once by my father (and it was hard) - but I must say that I deserved it.

We were at the supermarket, and as far as I remember, I had wanted something, he wouldn't give me. And so I chose to bite him on the arm - through his (thick) leather jacket - leaving an exact dentalmark of my upper and lower teeth. Then he hit me - and promtly some woman came over to us and told him off for hitting he. So unfair really [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

And although I think that I would never hit a child, I must admit that I'm not sure that I wouldn't do what my father did.

[Azred]

Originally posted by Cerek the Barbarian: I can tell you from experience that MY kids behave MUCH better in school or at the babysitter's than they do at home. WHY? Good question. I wish I knew. But it's true.

Children instinctively know that their parents will love them no matter what. Thus, they can "act out" more at home because, despite potential repercussions, parents will eventually forgive the child and forget the situation (well, if they are reasonable they will). It's a lot like "hating the sin and loving the sinner", to phrase it in terms with which you are no doubt familiar. [img]graemlins/beigesmilewinkgrin.gif[/img]
Belle and I have asked that question hundreds of times....

[The Hunter of Jahanna]

Pesonaly I think kids need a good swat every now and then IF THEY DESERVE IT. I am not advocateing child abuse or smacking your kid around for being 5 mins late getting somewhere, but sometimes getting a whack is all that will get through to a child. Many of us older people probably got a smack or 2 from out parents when we acted up. I am sure MOST of us deserved what we got, I know I did. I think a lot of kids problems is that they dont get that kind of disipline any more. Before I get all the "violence only brings more violence" speeches think about how many time you heard of kids bringing guns and bombs to school and killing classmates when we were in school durring the 80's. I cant remember a single time, then again , I'm not omnipotent and I am sure it might have happened and I am just not aware of it. Now think of the past decade in the 90's. It seemed almost commonplace , especialy in the late 90's . Almost like there was 1 a year from 95 til 2K. I think the diffrence is in the parenting , or the LACK therof. I think that if the parents of the 2 columbine kilers had given them a good smack or 2 they wouldnt have dared to even consider doing what they did. I know as a kid that the cops didnt scare me , jail didnt scare me , teachers didnt scare me,my dad DID. And all I can do is thank him for it. Who knows what would have happened if he never laid a finger on me and I wasnt afraid of him either.

[Sir Goulum]

Originally posted by Avatar: Oh I sense this is a difficult one. Have I been smacked? Yes, plenty of times. What did it teach? Well as I child I was scared out of lil mind [img]graemlins/hidesbehindsofa.gif[/img] not to do bad things again. [img]tongue.gif[/img] So in that respect it worked.. but is it right to smack children and if so in what circumstances? [img]graemlins/whip.gif[/img] LOL I don't have any children of my own but I wanted to see what the folks of Ironworks think about this issue.

I've been smacked too even now (AND I'M 13!!!!). Should you smack children? Hell no! When my dad smacks me it just pisses me off so I wanna smack him. It also provides a bad influence!