an awkward situation...and a baffling reaction

[Melusine]

Sorry to hear your story Faceman - it sucks when one of your friends suddenly shows a nastier side to them that you'd never have expected them to have.
I agree with pretty much everybody here: those societal (non-)arguments of his are just plain BS. If he would continue to live along those rules of his, he should prepare to lose a lot of his friends, so you might as well give him a hint by telling him that if he isn't going to come clean with the cops, you or Y will do it for him. Maybe that will be enough of a wake up call for him to realise his error. And if not, well, I think he deserves the consequences. It's not that I think the original problem is so bad, where I live pot isn't even illegal, but the point is that he caused your friend Y to be in a bad situation. Especially if there's a chance this will have consequences for his work and stay permit, that's bloody serious!
In this case, if after a lot of convincing X still would stand by his so-called rules, I think I would have no qualms of turning him in just to protect your other friend. What's more important, a stupid fine or Y potentially being out of a job or place to live??

[Faceman]

Originally posted by Jorath Calar: Wow, that guy has a ego! Anyway I used to smoke it, some years ago, it was just a way to get out of everydays life boredom... I stopped when one of my friend was caught with it, the law for it here is similar to the one in Austria, but the fine is much bigger and then his employer found out about it and he lost his job which in turn led to his girlfriend breaking up with him (b****), I watched my good friend simply go from a pretty good guy to a complete bum and thought, "This isn't worth it..." and have never done it since...

Similar with me and the guy I called A in my stories. Except I never smoked. He only talked me into trying it once. I'm however rather glad I tried it back then. It didn't really knock me off my feet and felt like being drunk at BAC 0.15. So I thought: "Ok, tried that, Check. Not so great, so skip it" Never done it again but have watched my friend go down hard. He now lives on welfare smokes up to 5g/day and is a junior high school dropout (didn't finish 3rd grade and is 20 by now). He has gotten so lazy that although he just sits around doing nothing but [img]graemlins/petard.gif[/img] the whole day he misses his appointments at the social services and expects them to just give him welfare for 3 months if he turns up two months late. An so on...

Concerning X:

We all recently realised that he has always been like this. But he has only decided to act SO openly on his ego since last year. Before that we didn't take his "I don't like democracy because I want to be my own boss" talk so seriously. We have been avoiding him more lately but he has been one of my closest friends for long time and it is not easy for me to give that up (as it wasn't easy with A) because friendship means more to me than just go to the pub every other day.
His causes for smoking are also semi-understandable as he started using it to "medicate" his extreme neurosis (e.g. he didn't dare to touch doorknobs in public places because he was afraid of bacteria) and his high blood pressure which derives from a genetical heart condition (which is not as bad as it sounds). First instead of the prescribed heart medication the mixing it with. Rather stupid IMHO but "semi-undertandable"
Giving the situation thought I figured he has ONE point and that isn't a very good one. He has screwed himself quite nicely with lying in a written testimony and could get a probation sentence for that. If Y lies for him not written but only in speech he'd be slightly less screwed than Y is already. However I still disagree since I think he should grow up and accept responsibilities.

P.S.: Oh and Link...Being boss of his own island has been the dream of his dream since he was 8 years old and he's still convinced that he'll be rich enough one day to afford that.

[Deejax]

Stupid selfish idiot seems to cover 'X' quite nicely.

I can understand he wanted to avoid a fine by supplying false information to the cops. Stupid, but understandable. But asking a friend to take the fall, to ask a friend to lie, just so you can escape some minor fine... That's just plain egotistigal behaviour.

And on the "If I don't like a law, so I don't have to obey it".. Someone should tell that guy to wake up and realise how this world works. Cos it certainly doesn't work like that (thank god).

[Link]

By the gods! That guy actually takes that island-plan seriously?!?! I mean; you cannot enjoy a vacation if you know you've worked hard for it IMHO.

[Dragonshadow]

Originally posted by Lord Lothar: Padon my french but X seems like a selfish bastard. .

I agree. He should have told the officer who he was. The longer he aoids it, the worse it will get. He shouldn't have tries to get Y into trouble, beacuse that isn't being very freindly to him.

[Nachtrafe]

There's a very old saying here in America(probably other places too, but, since I've only ever lived here... ):

"If you cant do the time, dont do the crime!"

IMO, X is a waste of skin and a complete weasel. Yeah, X and Y both messed up, but at least Y had the stones to stand up like a man and take his punishment.

Sorry to hear about the whole situation Faceman. It especially sucks to be put in a situation like that by a so-called *friend*.

I worry about your frend Y too. Despite what X may think, I'm fairly certain that if he's caught obstructing justice/lying to the cops, they'll probably find a half a hundred excuses to ship him home first chance they get. Like Melisune, I also think you two have a moral obligation at this point to give X an ultimatun. "Either you go to the police and tell the truth, or we do". Since X probably wont be man enough to pony up and deal with it, Y, as well as yourself, shouldn't have to suffer because of it. And, dont let X talk you out of it with excuses of 'if you were really my friends, you wouldn't say anything'...cuz that's pure BS. If he was a real man, he would do it himself.

Anyway...that's my [img]graemlins/2cents.gif[/img] on the subject. [img]smile.gif[/img] Good luck with this situation Faceman. I hope it works out for you.

[ 09-08-2003, 09:13 AM: Message edited by: Nachtrafe ]

[harleyquinn]

My opinion:
X has already been given the chance to fess up. His chances are up. He's not a friend, to any of you, and you'd all be better off without him in your life. He's proven how little he thinks of all of you.
Y needs to not worry about X getting in trouble and only about himself. The sooner he goes to the cops and fesses up on his own, the better it'll be for him. The cops will figure it out sooner or later and will also figure out that Y lied to them, and then it'll be too late for Y to do anything about it. However, if Y comes forward, his chances of not being sent off are better. Not to put down your friend, Y, but he made the choice to lie to the police, so as much as it sucks, if he does have consequences to face because of that lie, he only has himself to blame. He should have fessed up to knowing how to get in touch with X in the first place.

[Faceman]

Originally posted by Nachtrafe: Y, as well as yourself, shouldn't have to suffer because of it.

Well I certainly won't have to suffer. I participated on [img]graemlins/petard.gif[/img] for the first and last and only time in my life about 4 years ago. Besides that I live a very lawful life and even pay my TV tax [img]smile.gif[/img] (though I almost can't afford it).
I am not connected to the situation in any other way than knowing both of them closely and feeling bad for Y and baffled about X.

[ 09-08-2003, 11:37 AM: Message edited by: Faceman ]

[Link]

I'm totally not aggressive by nature, but if a 'friend' of mine would do such a thing, he would probably be walking with a bleeding nose a few moments later!! I cannot understand people who think that egocentric! How can you live with yourself if you think that the planet society serves you instead of the other way round?

[quietman1920]

1) Tell 'Y' to tell the cops that he'll have the answer by Wednesday.

2) Then tell 'X' "you have 24 hrs to turn yourself in to the police and take your punishment like a man. After that, 'Y' will turn you in...and if he doesn't, I Will." Don't listen to his rationalizations...they don't hold water.

3) Be with 'Y' Wednesday when he calls to give the details. (Y must do this, even if X has turned himself in already.)

You are out at this point & Y has done what he needed to do. As for X...he might be a man and settle this now...or he might run and make a larger disgrace of himself. But who he chooses to be at this point in his life is up to him.