You Don't Know Jack....

Arvon · 11-21-2001, 10:46 AM

Who is Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

Barb · 11-21-2001, 10:49 AM

LOL. That is very funny.

Sir ReGiN · 11-21-2001, 10:58 AM

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Sir Byronas · 11-21-2001, 11:11 AM

LOL LOL LOL! Good one Arvon!

Barb · 11-21-2001, 11:25 AM

thats the funniest thing i've heard in ages. I showed it to my friend and he couldn't stop laughing. [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img]

Barb · 11-21-2001, 03:11 PM

Has anyone got anymore jokes like this?

Staralfur · 11-22-2001, 10:41 AM

Something along similar lines;

THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY - DEAD AT 71

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly.
He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Cap'n Crunch and many others.

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Arvon · 11-22-2001, 10:58 AM

Funny Doughboy story...

Barb · 11-22-2001, 01:48 PM

That was quite funny. Not as good a Jack Schitt though.

Barb · 11-22-2001, 01:49 PM

That was quite funny. Not as good a Jack Schitt though. More Jokes here Joke zone

11-21-2001, 10:46 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Who is Jack Schitt? For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

11-21-2001, 10:49 AM	#2
Barb Symbol of Cyric Join Date: July 16, 2001 Location: England, UK Age: 50 Posts: 1,150	LOL. That is very funny. __________________ [url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"></a> <br /><br />[url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"><b>The Master of Beasts</b></a>

11-21-2001, 10:58 AM	#3
Sir ReGiN Gold Dragon Join Date: August 11, 2001 Location: The land of blonde virgins Age: 42 Posts: 2,563	[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] __________________ Take a look at your Promised Land<br />Your deed is that gun in your hand

11-21-2001, 11:11 AM	#4
Sir Byronas Mephistopheles Join Date: October 2, 2001 Location: Greece Age: 35 Posts: 1,463	LOL LOL LOL! Good one Arvon! __________________ <br />I\'ve searched the whole world and ended up back in Ironworks. Home sweet home!

11-21-2001, 11:25 AM	#5
Barb Symbol of Cyric Join Date: July 16, 2001 Location: England, UK Age: 50 Posts: 1,150	thats the funniest thing i've heard in ages. I showed it to my friend and he couldn't stop laughing. [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ [url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"></a> <br /><br />[url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"><b>The Master of Beasts</b></a>

11-21-2001, 03:11 PM	#6
Barb Symbol of Cyric Join Date: July 16, 2001 Location: England, UK Age: 50 Posts: 1,150	Has anyone got anymore jokes like this? __________________ [url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"></a> <br /><br />[url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"><b>The Master of Beasts</b></a>

11-22-2001, 10:41 AM	#7
Staralfur Baaz Draconian Join Date: April 8, 2001 Location: Nottingham, UK Age: 44 Posts: 786	Something along similar lines; THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY - DEAD AT 71 Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Cap'n Crunch and many others. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. __________________ We\'ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.\"<br />Robert Wilensky <br /><br />\"Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?\" <br />Screaming Lord Sutch<br /><br />If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

11-22-2001, 10:58 AM	#8
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Funny Doughboy story...

11-22-2001, 01:48 PM	#9
Barb Symbol of Cyric Join Date: July 16, 2001 Location: England, UK Age: 50 Posts: 1,150	That was quite funny. Not as good a Jack Schitt though. __________________ [url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"></a> <br /><br />[url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"><b>The Master of Beasts</b></a>

11-22-2001, 01:49 PM	#10
Barb Symbol of Cyric Join Date: July 16, 2001 Location: England, UK Age: 50 Posts: 1,150	That was quite funny. Not as good a Jack Schitt though. More Jokes here Joke zone __________________ [url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"></a> <br /><br />[url]\"http://www.xsorbit.com/users2/barb/index.cgi\" target=\"_blank\"><b>The Master of Beasts</b></a>

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