Pick up lines from the old days...a little PG

Arvon · 09-17-2002, 06:59 AM

Medieval Pick-up Lines

"Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?"

"Been there, slain that."

"What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?"

"They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know."

"When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched."

"Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor."

Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding."

"Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!"

"Your hovel or mine?"

"Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?"

"Dost thou practice safe hex?"

"Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within."

"I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart."

"You should be glad I'm not a Viking."

"You would have been ravaged and plundered by now."

"I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!"

"Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?"

"You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!"

"I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?"

"My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it."

"I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er...PUNISH me, now won't you?"

"You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down."

"I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady."

"C'mon, sweetie...didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away."

"I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?"

johnny · 09-17-2002, 07:08 AM

ROFL Very good

WOLFGIR · 09-17-2002, 08:22 AM

"You should be glad I'm not a Viking."

ba hambug..

Melusine · 09-17-2002, 08:27 AM

A Krazy Gravy Viking no less eh Wolfie?

WOLFGIR · 09-17-2002, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Melusine:
A Krazy Gravy Viking no less eh Wolfie?

Bah we never had our horns on the helmet at least....

Melusine · 09-17-2002, 08:40 AM

LMAO! Bad Wolfie!

Go wash your mouth with surströmming

WOLFGIR · 09-17-2002, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Melusine:
LMAO! Bad Wolfie! Go wash your mouth with surströmming

You mean I should get a real bad dog breath??

I think I will have to send you some Surströmming..

Melusine · 09-17-2002, 08:48 AM

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! !

Swedish NO

WOLFGIR · 09-17-2002, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Melusine:
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! !

Swedish NO

Damn!

You are a quick learner hehe [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Kaltia · 09-17-2002, 09:57 AM

lol, Arvon! Gonna do some for the other ages now?

09-17-2002, 06:59 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Medieval Pick-up Lines "Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight could scabbard his sword, would you?" "Been there, slain that." "What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?" "They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know." "When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only thing they stretched." "Dost thou know? That chastity belt of yours would look great on my sleeping chambers floor." Wench: "What's that sound?" Knight: "That's just the sound of my chain mail drawers expanding." "Thou hast hit on me harder than the black plague!" "Your hovel or mine?" "Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my long sword in action?" "Dost thou practice safe hex?" "Milady, it's not the size of the wand that matters, but the magic within." "I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my heart." "You should be glad I'm not a Viking." "You would have been ravaged and plundered by now." "I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on!" "Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes disappear?" "You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends is on it!!" "I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex with frogs?" "My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it." "I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks and...er...PUNISH me, now won't you?" "You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Repunnzel. Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down." "I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady." "C'mon, sweetie...didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day keeps the black plague away." "I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?" __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

09-17-2002, 07:08 AM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	ROFL Very good __________________

09-17-2002, 08:22 AM	#3
WOLFGIR Bastet - Egyptian Cat Goddess Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Sweden Age: 50 Posts: 3,450	"You should be glad I'm not a Viking." ba hambug.. __________________ Don´t eat the yellow snow

09-17-2002, 08:27 AM	#4
Melusine Dracolisk Join Date: January 8, 2001 Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands Age: 43 Posts: 6,541	A Krazy Gravy Viking no less eh Wolfie? __________________ [img]\"hosted/melusine.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Your voice is ambrosia

09-17-2002, 08:40 AM	#6
Melusine Dracolisk Join Date: January 8, 2001 Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands Age: 43 Posts: 6,541	LMAO! Bad Wolfie! Go wash your mouth with surströmming __________________ [img]\"hosted/melusine.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Your voice is ambrosia

09-17-2002, 08:48 AM	#8
Melusine Dracolisk Join Date: January 8, 2001 Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands Age: 43 Posts: 6,541	Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! ! Swedish NO __________________ [img]\"hosted/melusine.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Your voice is ambrosia

09-17-2002, 09:57 AM	#10
Kaltia Jack Burton Join Date: May 2, 2002 Location: Canterbury, England Age: 36 Posts: 5,817	lol, Arvon! Gonna do some for the other ages now? __________________ The wolf is as cunning as he is ferocious; once he's had a taste of flesh then nothing else will do.

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