Thoughts on my essay? - Page 2

chrisofthedale · 11-11-2002, 10:24 PM

the reason semi colons are there is because the grammar check on word said it should be...

Nanobyte · 11-11-2002, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeffi0:
GTG to school now so I only read the first few lines, but IIRC you aren't supposed say "this essay" or "my essay" etc.

There are lots of things you are not supposed to say. "You" and "some" being a few. Also, if this is formal writing (which I presume it isn't) all contractions would have to be spelt out. AND (is there an echo in here?), essays should be written in 3rd person, so "I" would become "the reader."

Aelia Jusa · 11-11-2002, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by chrisofthedale:
the reason semi colons are there is because the grammar check on word said it should be...

Sorry yes I meant you have commas where semi-colons are more appropriate. And don't trust your grammer check

Redblueflare · 11-11-2002, 10:33 PM

It's good Chris. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Please add a space or two when you make a paragraph.

[ 11-11-2002, 10:34 PM: Message edited by: Redblueflare ]

antryg · 11-11-2002, 10:34 PM

Just blowing off some steam

[/qb][/QUOTE]Heh I have an ancient history exam on Thursday - it's three essays of 800-1000 words each in two hours, or 40 minutes an essay. Lucky I write fast

[/QB][/QUOTE]
Does this mean that the test itself is a relic or artifact or is it a test on ancient history?

Sorry; I couldn't resist. Blame it on too many theology and philosophy courses.
In the same vein, I would posit that belief is not wishy washy but the driving force in humans. Whether it is the scientists belief that there is an answer or the religious persons belief in a reason for life; belief is what causes us to search and strive.

Not knowing exactly what grade level this is for makes it hard to offer a fair evaluation. The advice that others have offered is good no matter the grade level. All of the advice given will make the essay better. If this is for middle school or high school then it is very good within the word constraint.

[ 11-11-2002, 10:39 PM: Message edited by: antryg ]

chrisofthedale · 11-11-2002, 10:38 PM

it is for science and language i believe, we got essay outlines from the language teacher and the content from our scince teacher, and ny the way it only had to be 500 words this is 800 or so.

Nanobyte · 11-11-2002, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aelia Jusa:

quote:
Originally posted by Nanobyte:
One thing I cannot understand: how do teachers figure their students can write a reasonable, four-paragraph essay (including intro and conclusion) in a maximum of thirty minutes? I don't mean to bash on teachers, as I'm a fun-loving guy and all, but we had to write an essay on Romanticism in English last week. Hardly anyone finished, even their first paragraph, within the time constraint, but what our teacher said was this, "I'll grade you on what you have." I had five bloomin' examples in my first paragraph (from four different sources), and she gave me a 70! I'm not that bad of a writer, I made a 93 on the research paper last year, but the entire semester this year I've made no higher than an 83.. I sincerely wish she would spend more time revisiting the basics, and spend less on US history, since this is really hurting my GPA.

Just blowing off some steam

Heh I have an ancient history exam on Thursday - it's three essays of 800-1000 words each in two hours, or 40 minutes an essay. Lucky I write fast [/QUOTE]I'm not an English buff, nor am I capable to formulate a detailed compilation of sources into a single essay when I am under such stress and aggravation. Planning is the key.

SomeGuy · 11-11-2002, 10:44 PM

Hmm good job. I give it 3 thumbs up. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

chrisofthedale · 11-11-2002, 10:46 PM

i changed the one sentence there that didnt fit in and has the religious controversy stuff, it was intially part of the intro, and i didnt realize the problem.

Nanobyte · 11-11-2002, 10:52 PM

One thing you should know for future reference, if you ever have to present an essay/story of your own to the class, be sure to
Speak up

Maintain eye contact with your audience

I learnt the hard way freshmen year.. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

11-11-2002, 10:33 PM	#14
Redblueflare Galvatron Join Date: May 9, 2001 Location: The backwoods in Georgia sigh Age: 39 Posts: 2,151	It's good Chris. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Please add a space or two when you make a paragraph. [ 11-11-2002, 10:34 PM: Message edited by: Redblueflare ] __________________ <br /><br />\"If you ever need me just whistle, and i\'ll come running. I promise. <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Smile]\" src=\"smile.gif\" /> <br />Kupo, Kupo! A man can\'t get a sword if he can\'t dance! <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Big Grin]\" src=\"biggrin.gif\" />

11-11-2002, 10:34 PM	#15
antryg Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2002 Location: Dallas, Tx. Age: 21 Posts: 1,765	Just blowing off some steam [/qb][/QUOTE]Heh I have an ancient history exam on Thursday - it's three essays of 800-1000 words each in two hours, or 40 minutes an essay. Lucky I write fast [/QB][/QUOTE] Does this mean that the test itself is a relic or artifact or is it a test on ancient history? Sorry; I couldn't resist. Blame it on too many theology and philosophy courses. In the same vein, I would posit that belief is not wishy washy but the driving force in humans. Whether it is the scientists belief that there is an answer or the religious persons belief in a reason for life; belief is what causes us to search and strive. Not knowing exactly what grade level this is for makes it hard to offer a fair evaluation. The advice that others have offered is good no matter the grade level. All of the advice given will make the essay better. If this is for middle school or high school then it is very good within the word constraint. [ 11-11-2002, 10:39 PM: Message edited by: antryg ] __________________

11-11-2002, 10:44 PM	#18
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 33 Posts: 4,238	Hmm good job. I give it 3 thumbs up. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Help with Essay in Eng 101	LordKathen	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	8	01-20-2005 02:59 PM
An essay by George Orwell	Skippy1	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	4	04-29-2004 09:59 AM
Help with resources for an essay	Jorath Calar	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	6	02-19-2004 09:36 AM
Essay	Arvon	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	3	08-26-2003 01:55 PM
The Science of Flatus...an essay	Arvon	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	6	06-25-2002 12:49 AM

11-11-2002, 10:24 PM	#11
chrisofthedale Account Removed by Request Join Date: September 9, 2002 Location: Canada Age: 36 Posts: 534	the reason semi colons are there is because the grammar check on word said it should be...

11-11-2002, 10:38 PM	#16
chrisofthedale Account Removed by Request Join Date: September 9, 2002 Location: Canada Age: 36 Posts: 534	it is for science and language i believe, we got essay outlines from the language teacher and the content from our scince teacher, and ny the way it only had to be 500 words this is 800 or so.

11-11-2002, 10:46 PM	#19
chrisofthedale Account Removed by Request Join Date: September 9, 2002 Location: Canada Age: 36 Posts: 534	i changed the one sentence there that didnt fit in and has the religious controversy stuff, it was intially part of the intro, and i didnt realize the problem.

11-11-2002, 10:52 PM	#20
Nanobyte Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: NC Age: 38 Posts: 2,890	One thing you should know for future reference, if you ever have to present an essay/story of your own to the class, be sure to Speak up Maintain eye contact with your audience I learnt the hard way freshmen year.. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)