Thoughts on community

[Yorick]

Some Thoughts on Community (from my friends site @ http://www.zeta.org.au/~lorien/ )

A good community can make up for a bad childhood. There may be traumatic experiences in your past which you need counselling to overcome, but solving your past problems doesn't move you into the future - for that you need people, a community. The trust, acceptance and security gained from a 'good' (I'm working on this) community

We each exist in the intersection of a heap of communities - family, work, church, other friends... all of whom don't know each other. It's difficult to reconcile. The seven degrees thesis is that each person is a node, and there is a maximum of seven nodes between any two people, anywhere. In the age of communication and movement, we each have to cope with a larger number of communities than ever before. Difficult again.

A horrible hard thing about not being married is that your basic level of community changes from being one person who you see all the time, to about six people who you see once or twice a week. From one person who you know and trust with your whole life, to half a dozen people who you're afraid of imposing on. And when your basic level of community is The One You Love, everyone else stays at arms length. So when someone annoys you or whatever, you can say "oh well, stuff them, I've got you." But when arms length is as close as you can get, you can't afford to let people slip.

Community bridges cultural gaps, including the generation one. Any community will consist of people who have some core things in common, and a lot of things somewhat or not at all in common. Within a community, some people will lie on the fringes of the age or ethnic norms, and these people will be important contributers of experience and point-of-view. Because a community relates through each other as well as individually, people should be able to understand and accept the attitudes of those culturally furthest from them.

andrew 03/98

[Leonis]

Good post. I do find this internet thingy has extended the possibilities of interaction with people in your communities. Particularly to keep in touch with people who are physically distant... [img]smile.gif[/img]

Edit: Sig...

[ 08-27-2002, 08:54 PM: Message edited by: Leonis ]

[Evil Al]

Well said Yorick. I have not had the easist of lives I won't go into the details. But it is to my belif that I is because of the good friends that I have, including my best mate Joe (Mojo). Its true I've wronged him in the past but we worked through it. Though me and Joe are good friends, we are very different. I am a Christian and he is a goth, I know it sounds stange but its true. Joe just trys not to be too much of an anti-Chirst when we're together. And we have great theological discussions. But none the less we share many opinions of the non-religious part of life.

My Church also has a good community, where I have a lot of like minded friends that I'm happy to call brothers and sisters. It has resently become even better with the break down of the walls between denominations in Peterhead, its a good sight to see people from The Harvest Community Church, The Zion Tabernacle, The Dove, Saint Mary's Catholic Church, The Baptist Church, The Methodist Church, Zeema, The Pentacostle and Prodistant Church all under one roof worshiping God. There I could go up and talk to anyone, I mean anyone like I've known them for years! You may have guessed that Peterhead has lots of churches and the population is only 20000.

I can honestly say that there isn't much community sprit outside the churchs in Peterhead, no-one has any respect for each other, what this town needs is Christian Revival. To show the young people the love of the community and the love of the Lord. And to turn them away from drugs, that is a major problem here, and show them a point to life. I can't begin to explain to you how much His love means to me. Its like he snatched me from the jaws of death.

[The Hierophant]

Good post Yorick. Hits very much close-to-home. It's true that a bad childhood can be rebuilt upon by good friends and a good mind.

And good to see you back and posting again! Havn't seen you on IW for quite a while now, or maybe I'm just blind [img]smile.gif[/img]

[250]

enlighten me, I am not married. and Yorick is not married neither. I agree that I don't have a great sense of community. but I dont throw trash around and I dont swear in front of little kids.

how abt Yorick then? is single life that terrible? maybe we should all die.

[ 08-28-2002, 12:20 AM: Message edited by: 250 ]

[The Hierophant]

Originally posted by 250: is single life that terrible? maybe we should all die.

Heh, there's no choice concerning the 'we should', more 'we will'.

Single life is great. I have a great sense of community and I'm happily bachelorfied. There is more to life than a reproductive partnership [img]smile.gif[/img] Literature and film these days tend to exemplify the 'love is all' ethic when it's simply just not the case. One can have a happy, fulfilled and 'good' life, contributing to one's community and fellow people without having to find the ever-elusive 'soul-mate' (especially hard to find when one doesn't believe in 'souls' [img]smile.gif[/img] ).
Just help each other out and try not to hate folks. That's all that society and civilization is built upon. Humans living and co-operating together.

[250]

yeah, thats right.

Hugh, your friend's thought sounds more like: I have my wife at least, so I dont mind losing others. so for those divorced, does the sense of community crumbles around them?

I'd like to know how you think on this.

Originally posted by Yorick: http://www.zeta.org.au

Zeta?
ZETA???!!!??
AHHHH!!!!!
OMFG!!!!!!

Oh, It’s just an ISP
I Did A double take when I saw that adress though.

[ 08-28-2002, 01:44 PM: Message edited by: Dramnek_Ulk ]

[Attalus]

Good post, Yorick, as usual. You are quite right about the married state, since I married Galadria, I have more or less let my other friendships, etc., go hang. I have let quarrels which, otherwise would have been long resolved, hang on for ages, because, frankly, I don't care, anymore. So, is it your thesis tha bachelors are the backbone of the community? That's a new one.

[J.J.]

Originally posted by 250: yeah, thats right. Hugh, your friend's thought sounds more like: I have my wife at least, so I dont mind losing others. so for those divorced, does the sense of community crumbles around them? I'd like to know how you think on this.

Being able to comment from experience, your sense of community doesn't so much crumble as fade away. Other couples tend to shy away from the divorced, being uncomfortable around them as if it were catching - and it can be - or the ex-partner who has the new partner first tends to move in more of the same social circles than the one who was not dating while married. More so if they also retain the former joint abode.

Personally, I found that while my community of comfort faded, there were also those friends who did not. The freedom to re-engage socially was incredibly liberating, and since I'm not exactly a wallflower to begin with (an uber- Libra on steroids run amuck was one friend's observation ) I was enjoying myself much more than my former, who was shacked up with her next ex. - Definitely a case of living well being the best revenge [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

two-fiffee, it almost always comes down to how you percieve yourself in your world, 'cause that is how others will also. If you are a badluck schleprock moaning around all the time crying woe is me, you will have plenty of time to yourself to feel that way. Do not worry about the water glass being half empty or full, throw that sucka into the fireplace with all your strength and a loud yell for a full glass of beer instead. [img]graemlins/cheers.gif[/img]

[ 08-28-2002, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: J.J. ]