Charlies Shop of Shite is Open.. ITEM SPOILERS

[Accord]

Too much....too much Charlie my friend!!

Drat, can i have the Techno Gloves then, i'll give you a turnip. but what the heck os a swede

[Charlie]

Unfortunately all Montaron complaints (and there are many) need to be directed at Montaron himself. Just because he's dead doesn't mean he can't hear you. Just prop him up somewhere and talk away. Eventually something will give. If Montaron decides to give you a full refund then I'd like some of it if at all possible.

Alternatively and very unadvisably you could try our complaints dept.

Dead loss enterprises incorporated.
No Lifesigns Avenue.
Yourstuckwithit,
England.

Thanks for your enquiry, we'll forward the bill for this response in due course.

I put mine out somewhere in the cornfields. Crows don't go near him. Or you could use him as a novelty paperweight or doorstop; remember, he's only a halfling.

[Ladyzekke]

Charlie, I'd like to offer a trade. Lord of Alcohol is in need of the Wave Shaft, and I will offer to put up a stuffed Anomen doll in return (not gonna stay what it's stuffed with). Deal?

I'll give you a Valygar's Corpse for those old boots. He's not a hell of a lot less conversational than he was when he was alive.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie... You are a very naughty boy! I'm going to send you the doctor bill for my new hernia!

[Charlie]

Ladyzekke.

As its you ok. Please be sure that he is stuffed with totally useless and irellevant old shite. I got a reputation to consider here.

I gotta get some zzzzeds, I'll deal with the multitude of extremely happy customers at a later date, I'll deal with the unhappy ones at a much, very much later date...Night all.

P.S. Keep em coming btw. I'll tell you who gets what tomorrow.

Ah, yeah. Forgot to mention;
Valygar's corpse is provided without warranty of any kind as to reliability, accuracy, existance or otherwise or fitness for any particular purpose and its vendor does not warrant, guarantee, imply or make any representations as to its merchantability for any particular purpose and furthermore shall have no liability for or responsibility to you or any other person, entity or deity with respect of any loss or damage whatsoever caused by this device or object or by any attempts to destroy it by hammering it against a wall or dropping it into a deep well or any other means whatsoever and moreover asserts that you indicate your acceptance of this agreement or any other agreement that may be substituted at any time by coming within five miles of the product or observing it through large telescopes or by any other means because you are such an easily cowed moron who will happily accept arrogant and unilateral conditions on a piece of highly priced garbage that you would not dream of accepting on a bag of dog biscuits and is used solely at your own risk.

Wait can I get Jaheria's hair, fake rebal heart (lungs right), a real demons heart, a dog skelton, Dace's hand and the Umar witches book, don't ask, for a Chocolate Quzit and spare Beholder Eye.