Great Jokes! (Post more if you want!)

[Staralfur]

Originally posted by Daniel: Here is a favourite of mine (It's the cut down version) --The Red and White Knight on a Black and White Horse-- BLAH And the King replied "No".

After last time, I refuse to read through that again (eventhough I couldn't remember the 'punchline') [img]tongue.gif[/img]

50 fun things to do in Wal-mart; (EDITED)

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

Put M&M's on layaway.

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

Take bets on the battle described above.

Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

Hold indoor shopping cart races.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

[Sir Goulum]

Staralfur....LOL! Those are great!

[TheGrandSlayer]

[img]graemlins/blownup.gif[/img]

Oh K. IT ISN'T real funny but id you know that you'll be smarter than Albert Einstien when you graduate???
Heres why:HE'S DEAD!

[Daniel]

Originally posted by Scholarcs: lol to all these jokes...and dont bother reading Daniels

Which one? lol [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 05-15-2002, 09:42 PM: Message edited by: Daniel ]

[Daniel]

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."