Age Difference and Relationships.

Ok Im always ranting and raving about serious stuff so here is a question on a well...a different subject for me.

I am dating on and off a lady who is 49, she seems to really like spending time with me, but she keeps pulling back when things get too intense apparently because she is worried about the age difference (im 40) She seems to have the idea that I'll fall for some young chickadee and leave her. So what is the concensus here?? How big an age difference is too big an age difference...and yes Im sure Ill hear a lot about "it depends on the people". I kind of agree with that but there does come a point where there may be too big a difference in backgrounds where the older may not be able to respect the younger ones views as an equal due to a lack of experience. So lets hear what ya'll have to say!


Edit: I should say that I did date someone 17 years younger than myself once, it didnt workout though becuase of different priorities in life.

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: MagiK ]

[Cloudbringer]

Magik.. I'm 41 and Nacht is 29 and a half. I'd say it is a matter of personalities, chemistry, emotions but NOT age. [img]smile.gif[/img]


About her fear you would leave her for a younger woman. I can understand it but if you are as serious and committed as she is, I'd say make her understand that fidelity is a big issue and you believe in it. It is one rock steady part of my own relationship.

Cloudy

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]

quote:

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Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
Magik.. I'm 41 and Nacht is 29 and a half. I'd say it is a matter of personalities, chemistry, emotions but NOT age. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Cloudy

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You cradle robber you heheh J/K hope it all works out well for you [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Sazerac]

Yeah, MagiK, I'd have to agree...the diff between 49 and 40 isn't too much of an "age difference." I was thinking you were going to say she was like 19 or something.

BTW, I have two very good female friends (one 42, the other 40) who have both married men far younger than themselves (one 25, the other 19). Both couples have been happily married now for some time...well, the second couple for over a year, the first couple since 1992. Even Benjamin Disraeli, Prime Minister under Queen Victoria, married a woman many years his senior. So don't worry...lots of good precedents there.

-Sazerac

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

To be completely frank with you Ive been dating a girl far older than me (33 to my 21) for quit some time (over a year) and I dont see any problem with it. I care about her the more than Ive cared about any women/girls Ive dated in the past. I mean if you two vibe together then age shouldn't even come into factor when you are considering any sort of relationship, friendship or something more. I know how you feel though my g/f is the same way. Its hard for her to deal with the social ramifications of her dating someone younger than her, and she is withdrawn over that at time, but if she cares about you enough she'll get over it. Just thought I'de throw my couple pennies down.

quote:

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Originally posted by Sazerac:
Yeah, MagiK, I'd have to agree...the diff between 49 and 40 isn't too much of an "age difference." I was thinking you were going to say she was like 19 or something.

BTW, I have two very good female friends (one 42, the other 40) who have both married men far younger than themselves (one 25, the other 19). Both couples have been happily married now for some time...well, the second couple for over a year, the first couple since 1992. Even Benjamin Disraeli, Prime Minister under Queen Victoria, married a woman many years his senior. So don't worry...lots of good precedents there.

-Sazerac

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Tried going the other way age wise once Saz [img]smile.gif[/img] I was 36 and she was 20-21 it was...fun for a while but she really needed someone her own age. I was actually proud of myself for manageing to get her to understand without messing it up too badly.

[Cloudbringer]

quote:

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Originally posted by MagiK:


You cradle robber you heheh J/K hope it all works out well for you [img]smile.gif[/img]

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ROTFL! Well, trust me, I don't think much about his age. [img]smile.gif[/img] And.. psssssst... he says "older women are sexy" so tell your girlfriend that.. I can say from experience,she'll be flattered.


Cloudy

quote:

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Originally posted by Cloudbringer:


ROTFL! Well, trust me, I don't think much about his age. [img]smile.gif[/img] And.. psssssst... he says "older women are sexy" so tell your girlfriend that.. I can say from experience,she'll be flattered.


Cloudy

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Actually she gets nervous anytime I compliment her, Im thinking she has been through an abusive relationship or two, she is a really beautiful lady with a great figure but seems to think she isnt good enough for me...silly lady [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[mistral4543]

Heh, I might actually end up in such a situation... if I even get attached in the long distant future Anyway, my 2 cents' worth...

I think generally, if both the guy and girl are nearing middle age, they'll have a better idea then of what they're looking for in a companion. There might be some insecurity about potential younger "competitors", but ultimately it is the character that matters.

I gues what I'm trying to say is that for older couples with a supposedly wide age gap, it's the emotional bonding that will win in the end. Hopefully

[ 02-03-2002: Message edited by: mistral4543 ]

[Cloudbringer]

quote:

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Originally posted by MagiK:



Actually she gets nervous anytime I compliment her, Im thinking she has been through an abusive relationship or two, she is a really beautiful lady with a great figure but seems to think she isnt good enough for me...silly lady [img]tongue.gif[/img]

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Magik.. been there.. and I do understand. You know, not everyone reacts the same way though. If you are serious about her.. I'd suggest you sit down and swap some minimal details about your past relationships and expectations of new one. I know it made a world of difference for me. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Cloudy