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07-09-2001, 05:59 PM
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#1 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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I realize not everyone here believes in God, but you gotta admit, this is pretty funny!
God as a parent To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, Grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or students ... here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was, "DON'T." "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit?" " We have forbidden fruit?" "Hey, Eve .. . we have forbidden fruit!" "No way!" "Yes, way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why?" "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants). A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and was He ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent, asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said, "Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed! But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."  Moni ------------------ 
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07-09-2001, 06:08 PM
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#2 |
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Emerald Dragon
 Join Date: March 2, 2001
Location: Tennessee, U.S.A.
Age: 74
Posts: 996
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Moni, I love it. I love the aspirin advice too.
------------------  
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07-09-2001, 07:40 PM
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#3 |
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Baaz Draconian
 Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Northern Illinois
Age: 55
Posts: 719
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This definitely has a ring of truth to it. I loved it.
Thanks, ------------------  Most Subtle Official Straightman of the Laughing Hyenas -- Grammarian Brigade. |
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07-09-2001, 09:30 PM
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#4 | |
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Zhentarim Guard
 Join Date: June 4, 2001
Location: Los Angeles, CA USA
Posts: 340
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LOL, now I don't feel so bad! Time to make another wall hanging!
Thanks, Moni!!! Welcome Back, Father Bronze (haven't seen you around GD for a spell)
------------------ 
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07-09-2001, 09:42 PM
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#5 |
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Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Birmingham, West Mid\'s, England
Age: 87
Posts: 2,859
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Great stuff, Moni! I like the aspiirin advice VERY much, lol!
------------------   
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07-20-2001, 12:25 PM
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#6 |
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Quintesson
 Join Date: April 6, 2001
Location: two leagues down
Posts: 1,081
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ROTFL....Very amusing Moni.
 ------------------ 
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07-20-2001, 01:04 PM
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#7 |
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Ironworks Moderator
 Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Monroe, LA
Age: 60
Posts: 7,387
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ROTFLMAO!!! Great one, Moni!
I don't know if it is just my own natural perverse sense of humor, but I always saw the Genesis creation story as one great Cosmic joke. The fact that an omnipotent superior being would create people and then tell them NOT to do something seems to be the same point in "Little Women" when the kids are told not to stick beans up their noses...to the effect that the idea had never occurred to them before, but now they could not wait to get some beans and shove them up their noses. It makes you wonder who's really running the show! 
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07-20-2001, 01:19 PM
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#8 |
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Elminster
 Join Date: July 2, 2001
Location: Denmark
Posts: 460
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ROLFMAO!
great one Moni lol |
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07-20-2001, 01:33 PM
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#9 |
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Anubis
 Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps
Age: 59
Posts: 2,474
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LOL
 Am I allowed to feel a bit of sadistic joy knowing that my son will have children one day, and I will have my revenge ?  ------------------  The world is my oyster ! |
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07-20-2001, 01:47 PM
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#10 | |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Quote:
Moiraine, Of course you are! My own mother cursed us all with children just like ourselves. She laughed her a$$ off when my sister had a boy that terrorized her and confirmed her curse had come true. Then she met my son and told me "This is not your child!" I asked "Why? Because you cursed us with kids just like ourselves?" She said "Yes!" her eyes all big with suprise that her curse could have gone wrong! I told her "Well it worked! I got a kid just like I was! A good one!" She got angry and left my house in a huff, muttering what a liar I always was as my husband and I sat back in relief that she was gone, chuckling over her arrogance that even then, she refused to believe that in spite of me looking like my father that I am a good person. You will get your revenge, your blessings, and a whole lot more out of your kids...but be careful what you wish for, you just may get it! Moni ------------------
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