My story! PLEASE READ EVERYONE!

[Redblueflare]

Originally posted by Moni: First off, you changed your perspective in this part without warning. When the story began, the "I" was Alan, now in the beginning of this section, the "I" is Krystal? Headers over seperate points of view would clue a reader in as to whose perspective they were seeing the story from i.e. Alan (the beginning of the story) and later... Krystal when perspective changes. Moni [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 06-07-2001).]

Silly me! I was making the perpective change thing you and Fljotsdale were talking about, harder than it actually was!

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just don't have to listen.

Originally posted by Redblueflare: Silly me! I was making the perpective change thing you and Fljotsdale were talking about, harder than it actually was!

Oh leaving out one word (Krystal) was not to big a mistake!

Did you ever read "The Stand" by Stephen King? It is written from many people's points of view as well as varying locations and that little clue in italics as to where the story was coming from next was all it needed to keep people in tune with the story!

Sorry it took me so long to come back to it and finish reading it! I have been trying to keep myself busy and get things around here done. Funny, I end up at my PC & online on all breaks LOL!

As far as your request for help on the end of the last paragraph?

How about the sentence (or something like)
"How were we to know that it would end in a meaningful (or an innocent, or an innocent but meaningful) kiss?"

I am really enjoying the story! Looks to me like you have a novel in the making here!

Oh yeah...there was one sentence or two, one right after the other, about the chase through the woods where the word "movement" is repeated. The second time it is used makes the sentence stop making sense and can be deleted.
(I do things like that when I write too. )


Moni



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