The differences between men and women

[Arvon]

Differences Between Men and Women

NICKNAMES:
If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

DINING OUT:
And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS:
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to: Go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY:
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

[Cloudbringer]

Arvon, very funny post! LOL

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Too true.. in my case anyway! LOL I'm accused of having lots of 'foo foo' stuff amongst my toiletries!

Cloudy

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Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
CloudDragon of the OHF
Storm-Queen
Raven's Cloud
StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."

[Moiraine]

Originally posted by Arvon: Differences Between Men and Women SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

This one is true !!! I just prepared my car for my husband to take it tomorrow, and I removed 6 pairs of shoes from it ...

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The world is my oyster !

[DiabloRex]

LOL!

[Sazerac]

Originally posted by Arvon: Differences Between Men and Women DINING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

OMG!! That happened to me just the other day...and I was the guy with the $20!!

I disagree with the cat one, though. Ziroc obviously proves that one wrong!

Cheers,



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Patience, my BUTT...I'm going to KILL something!!!

Originally posted by Sazerac: I disagree with the cat one, though. Ziroc obviously proves that one wrong! Cheers,

There are always one or two exceptions to every rule



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Disintigration is easy, If you really want to impress me, ReIntegrate it.

[tracey]

oh dear. i seem to be a bloke!

oops.



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offended mistress of the illuminati

[Silver Cheetah]

Originally posted by Moiraine: This one is true !!! I just prepared my car for my husband to take it tomorrow, and I removed 6 pairs of shoes from it ...

Hmm. I wear a pair of second hand trainers at all times - until it gets too wet, then I wear the same pair of black boots all winter......

Actually, with a whole load of the above, I relate more to the dude stereotype than the girly one........



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Most Ecstatic Mistress of the Illuminati Not to Mention Sensuality Incarnate (if Somewhat Flea-bitten Right Now..)

Feisty Kitten Mascot and Succourer of the Waifs and Strays Hugging and Smooching Club

[MILAMBER]

Originally posted by Silver Cheetah: Actually, with a whole load of the above, I relate more to the dude stereotype than the girly one........

As most cool chicks do...


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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)

Member of CLAN HADB

[DragonMage]

Originally posted by MILAMBER: As most cool chicks do...

Well, then, I must be cool, too.

I DO call my friends (even female ones, though it's rare for me to have a female friend) by derogatory or silly nicknames, I DON'T keep a lot of crud in my bathroom, I frequently pick up the check when dining, I do NOT have many shoes (nor do I wear 'froo-froo' ones). Just some tennies, hiking boots, sandals and a pair of nice soft-leather slouchy Dingo boots. I don't like dressing up (very often) and I only do laundry when I run out of clean clothes.

However: I DO make a grocery list and mostly stick to it (due to budget restraints), I LOVE kitties (and will seriously maim anybody I see hurting any animal) and I can't comment on the children (because I haven't any) but I AM extremely organized and keep up with dates and appointments.

btw: Did anyone else notice that it stated 6 items in a man's bathroom, but only five are listed???

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Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness

Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.
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Hopeless Romantic *sigh*