Zen Tales....

[Sazerac]

Another one: The Cockney Lawyer

A poor vicar used to always travel about on foot. One day on his way home, he became extremely tired, hungry, and too weak to travel further. He sought an inn and ordered four boiled eggs. He also had four rolls and a carafe of wine.

After he had finished, he told the innkeeper, "My brother, I am sorry...I haven't a cent on me. I can't pay."

"Okay, no problem," said the tavernkeep. "Some other time when you're passing by, you can pay me."

Later on the vicar became a rector, and was able to receive the alms of the parish. After a few years, he bethought the innkeeper who had foregone his debt.

"I must seek him out and make good my word," said the goodly man.

So he sought out the inn and talked to the innkeeper. "A few years ago, I owed you for four eggs, four rolls, and a carafe of wine."

Now the innkeeper was a greedy soul, and after much deliberation, presented the poor priest with a bill that would have ruined him and his parish. The innkeeper calculated that four hens would have hatched from the four eggs, how many eggs would have been laid in those passed years, and how many new hens, etc.

"I can't possibly pay this!" cried out the priest.

"I'll get a lawyer," said the angry innkeeper, "and we'll go to court."

The poor priest walked homeward, crying in despair. He passed a drunken Cockney in the street, staggering around, who bumped into him.

"Sorry 'ere, guv'nor," the Cockney said. "Oi! Wot ar' y'cryin' for?"

"A fine thing to ask, my son," said the poor priest. "I and my parish are ruined!"

"Ruined? 'Ow?"

"Because I was stupid." The priest recounted the entire story to the Cockney.

"An' that's why yer tremblin' with fear, eh guv'? Never fear, Oi'll be yer lawyer, an' if we win, alls I want is a noight's worth o' Guinness."

So the priest agreed. What else could he do?

The day of the case arrived, and all the lawyers of the court sided with the innkeeper. They said the priest should pay, and maybe even go to prison. But the cockney wasn't there.

The case was almost closed when in he came, dressed in his rags and spitting all over the place. The lawyers and judges laughed like anything to see him.

"And this is your lawyer?" the judge asked.

"The very one."

"How come you're late?" the judge asked the cockney.

"Where was I, then, m'lud? I wasn't 'arf so late for goin' 'ome an boilin' me corn so I could plant it!"

"Are you drunk? Are you mad?" the judge asked. "How can you grow corn if it's boiled?"

"Ay'be, by gum!" said the Cockney. "An' then maybe you'll be tellin' me 'ow bloody 'ens can 'atch from bloody boiled eggs?"

The truest Law is that which follows common sense.



[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 06-12-2001).]

[Charean]

That was good... I had to read it twice to get through the accent, but you have to feel for that priest whose main flaw was that he had no common sense.

Alas....

A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's overfull! No more will go in!" the professor blurted. "You are like this cup," the master replied, "How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup."


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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... rolling under the table!!
Renunciate in Training
Trucker Punkin Fluffy

[Charean]

A Taoist story tells of an old man who accidentally fell into the river rapids leading to a high and dangerous waterfall. Onlookers feared for his life. Miraculously, he came out alive and unharmed downstream at the bottom of the falls. People asked him how he managed to survive. "I accommodated myself to the water, not the water to me. Without thinking, I allowed myself to be shaped by it. Plunging into the swirl, I came out with the swirl. This is how I survived."


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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... !!
Renunciate in Training {the Darkover Series, Marian Zimmer Bradley}
Trucker Punkin Fluffy
Whatever You Seek On The Outside, Seek First Within...

[Fljotsdale]

Super thread. Keep 'em coming, you guys! Pity I don't know any

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[Sazerac]

One of my favorites, from Maya Angelou (a Zen lady if ever I knew one):

Maya Angelou writes that one day, one of her daughters was having a tough time opening a stuck jar lid. The girl was struggling and losing her temper.

Cooling her down, Maya said, "Okay, wipe your hands and start over. Take a deep breath, and twist as far as possible."

The girl did. "Now what, Mamma?" she asked.

"Good," Maya Angelou said. "Now twist possible."

Within an instant, the jar was open.

[Charean]

That is a cool one. I have to remember that!

And so I post another:

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"

"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!'

"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.



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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... !!
Renunciate in Training {the Darkover Series, Marian Zimmer Bradley}
Trucker Punkin Fluffy
Whatever You Seek On The Outside, Seek First Within...
Adding a line to see if anyone really reads this stuff, or if I am just amusing myself.

[dafan]

Originally posted by caleb: Mr. crocodile stalks mr. monkey a week later and eats him then mr elephant stomps mr. crocodile flat. Moral of the story: crocodiles are dirty rotten lyers and mr. elephant is one bad mofo.

what about the writer

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I'm a protector of good
a seeker of truth
a symbol of light
a man of honor

[Charean]

Word spread across the countryside about the wise Holy Man who lived in a small house atop the mountain. A man from the village decided to make the long and difficult journey to visit him. When he arrived at the house, he saw an old servant inside who greeted him at the door. "I would like to see the wise Holy Man," he said to the servant. The servant smiled and led him inside. As they walked through the house, the man from the village looked eagerly around the house, anticipating his encounter with the Holy Man. Before he knew it, he had been led to the back door and escorted outside. He stopped and turned to the servant, "But I want to see the Holy Man!"

"You already have," said the old man. "Everyone you may meet in life, even if they appear plain and insignificant... see each of them as a wise Holy Man. If you do this, then whatever problem you brought here today will be solved."


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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
Looking for lost brain - I left it only for a moment....and there it goes... !!
Renunciate in Training {the Darkover Series, Marian Zimmer Bradley}
Trucker Punkin Fluffy
Whatever You Seek On The Outside, Seek First Within...
Adding a line to see if anyone really reads this stuff, or if I am just amusing myself.