Your humble opinions please.

[Draconia]

Wolfgir- What a great story. I don't have any ideas right now but maybe I can help you when I have given it some thought. Sleep well, My Beauty!!!!!!

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Draconia, Dragon Queen

[WOLFGIR]

Originally posted by Draconia: Wolfgir- What a great story. I don't have any ideas right now but maybe I can help you when I have given it some thought. Sleep well, My Beauty!!!!!!

You too my Beauty!

And sleep well all you others too! If the bedbugs bite, BITE ´EM BACK!!! Hehe



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Do electric wolves dream of electric sheep?

[Raistlin]

EXCELLENT. Keep up the good work.

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Balance

[Ladyzekke]

Wolfgir - I think Elusoine should be described as a very tall red headed woman with haunted eyes. She grew up in a time of war and has seen many horrific things. Because of this, she has learned to fight well and has a wariness regarding everyone. Inside she has a soft loving heart, but outside her expressions are not readable. She trusts no one.

Sleep well WOLFGIR. ACK! Bedbugs WILL DIE if I ever see one!

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[LadyRae]

WOLFGIR! First of all, great story! Can I give some pointers though, as one writer to another? Dialog should be enclosed by quotes... This makes it easier to read and also helps in letting the charactors 'tell' the story instead of the author (which you succeed at even without the quotes!). Here are some examples:

LadyRae leans back in her chair, takes off her glasses and rubs her eyes. "Wow!" she says, not believing she had been sitting so long reading WOLFGIR's story. "I better get going," and she grabs her coat and races around turning off lights and making sure all the windows are closed. "Now, where the heck did I put my keys? Crap!" She zooms back into the bedroom, snatching the overloaded key-ring out of the junk-tray. The little brass whistle hooks itself on the edge of the tray and it topples to the floor with a, "Clang!" "Crap!" she says again, quickly scooping the various odds and ends back into the tray and putting it back on the dresser. "Next time I read one of WOLFGIR's stories, I'm gonna turn the timer on!"

Anyhow, keep up the good work!

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[This message has been edited by LadyRae (edited 03-09-2001).]

[Draconia]

Wolfgir- I wanted to ask you if you would email me your story. I am not going to be able to come here much in the next few weeks and I really want to hear how your story goes. I am anxiously waiting for the rest of your story. Take Care My Beauty!!!!

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Draconia, Dragon Queen

[This message has been edited by Draconia (edited 03-10-2001).]

[WOLFGIR]

Originally posted by LadyRae: WOLFGIR! First of all, great story! Can I give some pointers though, as one writer to another? Dialog should be enclosed by quotes... This makes it easier to read and also helps in letting the charactors 'tell' the story instead of the author (which you succeed at even without the quotes!). Here are some examples: LadyRae leans back in her chair, takes off her glasses and rubs her eyes. "Wow!" she says, not believing she had been sitting so long reading WOLFGIR's story. "I better get going," and she grabs her coat and races around turning off lights and making sure all the windows are closed. "Now, where the heck did I put my keys? Crap!" She zooms back into the bedroom, snatching the overloaded key-ring out of the junk-tray. The little brass whistle hooks itself on the edge of the tray and it topples to the floor with a, "Clang!" "Crap!" she says again, quickly scooping the various odds and ends back into the tray and putting it back on the dresser. "Next time I read one of WOLFGIR's stories, I'm gonna turn the timer on!" Anyhow, keep up the good work!

Lady Rae you are actually a writer? Cool, thank you very much for the pointers, I need them, that wthing with the quotes is great, my way is old and well from when I was young and we started write stories at 3:rd grade (ten years know you all have different school systems) with the dashes in the beginning of a saif somment. This will help a lot. I hope only that my english isn´t to awful and I hope that it will suffice, hopefully some of you will notice small errors like LadyWendy pointed out to me baout the "strong ars and legs" hehe..

My Beauty, your first words about my story made me a little proud so I will post my story to you no doubt about that, I´m so delighted you like it!

Thank you all for your kind words here, I hope you will keep this up in the continuation of the story! (And hey, if you find some errors please post a note to me so I can get it right)



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Do electric wolves dream of electric sheep?

[WOLFGIR]

OK, well here is more from the first chapter, Haran has changed into Hasparan..
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Suddenly Garann motioned for her to stop, she instantly raised her bow and took a few steps from the open path. In hand singnals he motioned for her that he had seen somthing ahead. How? she wondered. She was notorious for having good eyes and seeing things earlier then most. She sighed within herself, her companion sure had alot of suprises for her. She raised her hood over her chestnut colored hair to blend in better with the surroundings. Garann had moved further into the thick wood and if she hadn´t seen him enter the forrest she would never have been able to notice him. She looked around trying to see what Garann had seen. There, just ahead of her she could see a thine string of smoke rising above the trees further down the trail.
She signaled to Garann that she had seen it, and that she would scout on her side, Garann signaled back to her to stay back a little and use her bow while he moved in on his side. Good chioce she thought.

Garann had a bad feeling about this, well he had had bad feelings ever since he left the elven forrest and was ambushed by the Wolverine clan and had been given the chioce to join them or fight for his freedom in their gladiator pit. The wolverines were no bad people, but they had been hit badly recently by orc raids and had to gather up new members to their clan. This was the usual way to get new tribe members. Had had killed five of them and in sheer respect they had offered him a position as their warchief, Garann had denied and told them that he intended to get back to his grandfather and father so they could see that he had become a Swordancer and thus earning the right as alpha male in the wolfclan. "Yeah some sworddancer" he chided himself. Caught redhanded the second day as a Sworddancer, he hadn´t been able to hide his displeasure to his father and even worse his fathers eyes told him nothing, during his time in the gladiator pit, one year, his grandfather had been killed by snowgiants. Garann was ashamed that his grandfather hadn´t know that he had become a swordancer and would try to become the first wolfhowler in generations. He had discovered that he could talk with wolves and it had been a long time since that line of blood had arisen in the wolfclan.
Garann felt his anger rise, with a snarl on his face he moved on, hoping that someone, something would attack him. Maybe this was for the best to be send away from his people, to "escort" an Amazone princess to Hasparan, hmpf.
With anger in his eyes he came to the scene from where the smoke was rising. It was the leftovers from a caravan. Guards lay slain in disorder, whatever had attacked them had been more disciplined than this giard force. Had they stayed together Garann thought as he watched the tracks showing him that the fight had been over rather quickly. The footprints of large boots told him the attackers had been orcs, also the mutilated bodies and the way they had abused one girl and her mother told signs of an orc raid. Garanns face changed to tirenedness as he covered the girl and her mother with some robes he found. No time to bury them all he thought.
"By the skies of the gods" Elusine cried out behind him. "What has happene here".
-"Orcs", Garann said queitly. "They most have attacked during the night, all the fires have burned out and the tracks are all cold".
"Could they have been of thoose who attacked us this morning?" she asked and put her chin in her hand.
-"I doubt it" Garann said, "These tracks has left to the west, the same path as we are taking".
"Damn, what should we do, what can we do"? she asked.
-"For these poor people, not much, he said rising slowly, "We don´t have time to bury them and a pire would atract unwanted attention. Perhaps we could try and find some elves here, they would not be to have orcs running around here."
"Well we are out of their imediate territory now, what makes you think they will aid us?"
-"They are my friends, and the woodelves have always been friends of the Wolfclan" Garann said.
"I say we take a deeper path into the woods, so we get of this road." She looked around feeling a little nauseated by the smell of death surounding the place.
-"Hmm, well that could be an idea" Garann said, "we could loose one day that way but that is better than to loose our lives, this road is far from safe. If the orcs attack in this big numbers it means they are gathering up their forces. That could only mean war."
"War?" Elusine said, looking at Garann, this was the first time he didn´t brake her eyecontact, his gray eyes hold her hers for a moment, "But who would they war on?"
-"Most likely they will attack the dwarves in the mountains or they will gather force to move into Gurund".
"What would they want with Gurund?"
-"Have you never fought orcs before?" Garann asked her a little harsher than he had ment too, he continued a little softer:"They have been fighting mankind and espacially Gurund since the first morning for mankind, they have been at war for eternaties. None have ever showed no quarters always striking as hard as possible. Grandfather told me about the last orcwar, the darktide they called it, all the dark tribes gathered their forces and with some of the barabarian tribes they attacked the dwarves and also attacked the forrest of the elves. The wolfclan came to the woodelves help since we always have fought the orcs together and hunted the giants toghether. Together we could hold the forrests and the tide moved into Gurund for easier prey, the elves magic and arrows and the Wolfclans cold steel proved to costly for them, their true goal was Gurund from the beginning, but old hate dies slow.. We lost many people and alot of our strength thoose days, we still haven´t regained our numbers yet. So the woodelves taught some of us to use bows and also offered their forrest for hunting if we had hard time finding prey up in the mountains."
"I didn´t know that Garann" Elusine said, "We moved up into these mountains to get away from all the wars and we have only lived there for one generation, in the woodlands where we used to live before we only had contact with the elves, the dwarves and your tribe. We kept to ourselves never showing our hiding places to no one!" she stared down the ground slowly continued "And I have been away so much training in magic and traveling to new places to know more of the world, never telling anyone who i was or what I am."
-" That must have been hard" he to said his voice with concern, "i know how hard it is to bow your head and to hide your true feelings about who you are".
"Yes I think you do" she said. "Shall we continue?"
-"Aye, we better get a move on if we take through the forrests, if we are lucky we will run into some woodelves on our way".
"I hope we do" she said.

They moved on through the woods and started out towards the west again. The map old as it was,were of no big use know but both Garann and Elusine had no troubles making their way through the dense forrest used to traveling in the mountains and in the woods they kept a good speed.
They had just broke up for the night Elusine had strted a fire to make the rabbits Garann had hunted down with his sling. Elusine had also found some herbs she know would give them strength and had made a soup. Garann was a little suprised over her cooking it seemed. He had told her that his father and he always cursed when his mother , an Amazone, had made dinner cause it was always an experiment and finally his father had forbidden his mother to cook anything as long as he lived. Garann was a good cook, for the roads anyway, grandfather hadn´t only tough him how to fight and how to use every weapon but also about survival and the way of the wolf. If he was in a hurry he could eat a rabbit raw but since he hadn´t brother wolf´s stomach he could get ill and if you were ill you could not fight as well. So he had learned how to make food and had been rather good at it. Well not as good as his grandmother though, a big strong woman as tall as Garann and easily as wide, she could make a King begging for seconds, and that not by using brute force either..

Garann suddenly sat right up drawing his sword in one motion and started off out into the dark.
"What?!" Elusine said and draw her shortsword franticly scanning the suroundings.
-" Easy friends" a melodic voice said from the darkness. "Let me join you by the fire and show myself as a friend" Afigured appeared out of the dark, almost invisible to the forrest he was. He took off his hood and displayed a beatiful face surounded by long light hair. "I am Eyervine, of the woodelves, and I bring you no harm" he said showing them both hands empty.
-"Well met friend elf" Garann said, "I wished we had met earlier, please join us by our fire".
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OK, well enjoy..

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Do electric wolves dream of electric sheep?

[Griever]

holy sh*t... uhh... ahH!!!!!! HEAD HURTS!!!! couldnt read no more... great story though... brain crash!

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Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his sword.

[Ladyzekke]

Getting interesting Wolfgir! You left it open, so you have to continue! (when you can, of course )

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