Odd News January 2009

[Arvon]

WOW!

Willie Windsor, 54, of Phoenix has for several years lived as a full-time baby, wearing frilly dresses, diapers and bonnets, sucking on a pacifier, eating Gerber cuisine and habitually clutching a rag doll, in a home filled with oversized baby furniture. According to a long Phoenix New Times profile in June, the diaper is not just a prop. Windsor said he worked hard to learn to become incontinent, even chaining the commode shut to avoid temptation, and the reporter admitted feeling "disconcert(ed)" that Windsor might be relieving himself at the very moment he was describing his un-toilet training. Apparently, Windsor's brother, ex-wife, girlfriend and a neighbor tolerate his lifestyle (though no girlfriend has yet been willing to change his diapers). Windsor is a semi-retired singer-actor and said he's been celibate for nine years. [Phoenix New Times, 6-9-05]

[Firestormalpha]

Ok, now that's disturbing. Wonder what a therapist would say about his regresive behavior.

[Bungleau]

Dog-gone-it! Man loses dog, river swallows car

PORT HURON TOWNSHIP, Mich. – A man driven to find his lost dog also lost his car after he drove onto the frozen Black River in St. Clair County, locked himself out of the idling vehicle, then watched as heat from the 1994 Buick's exhaust pipe melted the ice beneath it.

WPHM-AM, the Detroit Free Press and the Times Herald in Port Huron reported that a police dive team were expected Wednesday to help pull the car from the frigid river off Port Huron Township, about 55 miles northeast of Detroit.

The newspapers said the Buick was a loaner while the man's vehicle is being repaired at a collision shop.

Lost my dog, lost my car... what's next?

[VulcanRider]

Bad enough sinking his own car, but he sank someone else's? Oops...

[Bungleau]

Banker Gives Spankings to 50 Customers

A legendary banking story turns out to be true

It seemed like an urban legend -- but it's confirmed by a 1979 article in the L.A. Times. A Pennsylvania banker punished more than 50 customers who were late on their loan payments by...spanking them in his office.

In the tiny town of Baden, Pennsylvania (population 4,377), bank manager David Rhodes admitted that he'd spanked all 50 of the delinquent customers, bragging that it was effective because "I never had any trouble with them afterward."

The best part of the story? He was later convicted for "misappropriating" $88,000 in bank money -- and was sent to prison for three years.

The reason? "[H]e was forced to make eight unrecorded loans totaling $88,268 when six of those who were spanked threatened to report him to his superiors."

Rhodes had worked at the bank for 14 years, averaging about 1,500 loans a year. But most of the customers he spanked were men -- not middle-aged men, but younger -- and one of them threatened to report it as a homosexual activity. At the trial, Rhodes' attorney defensively presented polygraph results and psychiatric tests, saying later that "all undertones of homosexuality were disproved." (Rhodes was married and had two teenaged children.)

"Although he was aware the loans were illegal," the AP reported, "Rhodes said he didn't turn himself in because he didn't think the authorities would believe his story."

Jet magazine called him the "Banker Spanker," and provided one more crucial detail about his case. "He said he was glad when bank auditors caught up to the scheme." And the L.A. Times' site provides the ultimate epitaph, offering the "all-time great headline" which appeared in another newspaper.

Ex-banker, Spanker, Winds Up in Tanker.

Betcha he found lots of new friends in the joint...

[Bungleau]

Thief caught out giving policeman's address

BERLIN (Reuters) – A German teen-ager caught shoplifting tried to dupe police by lying about where he lived -- but ended up in even more trouble when the address he gave turned out to be the home of an investigating officer.

The 18-year-old from Achim, a town of 30,000 in northern Germany, admitted he had lied when the officer explained that the address belonged to him, said police in nearby Verden.

"It was complete coincidence," said a police spokesman. "The thief gave that address because he'd once lived in the house. The policeman was the guy who moved in afterwards.

Talk about a buzzkill...

[Bungleau]

Pair seeking leniency allegedly drunk before judge

NEW HOLLAND, Pa. – A southeastern Pennsylvania man and woman seeking leniency on public drunkenness fines he hasn't paid have now been cited for public drunkenness in the judge's office. The pair visited District Judge Rodney Hartman's office in New Holland on Wednesday. They were responding to a warrant notice over fines the man owes for an October public drunkenness conviction. He said he didn't have money to pay.

Someone noticed that the two appeared drunk at the judge's office. Police gave Breathalyzer tests and say the two had blood-alcohol levels far above the legal limits for driving.

The boyfriend and girlfriend both pleaded guilty to new charges of public drunkenness. They were released in custody of a relative.
___
Information from: Intelligencer Journal, http://www.lancasteronline.com/pages/paper/sundaynews/

Glad they weren't there for public indecency charges...

[Bungleau]

Unreturned library book leads to woman's arrest

INDEPENDENCE, Iowa – An Iowa woman has been arrested because she failed to return a library book. Thirty-nine-year-old Shelly Koontz was arrested Thursday night on a fifth-degree theft charge. She is accused of keeping "The Freedom Writers Diary," which she checked out from the public library in nearby Jesup in April.

Police say the book — which is about a high school teacher's effort to inspire students to write — is valued at $13.95.

Court records show library employees tried repeatedly to contact Koontz by phone and mail. A police officer even visited her home last September.

Officials at the Buchanan County jail say Koontz was released after posting $250 bond. No telephone listing for Koontz could be found in the Independence area.
___
Information from: The Gazette, http://www.gazetteonline.com/

Wonder how much bail would be for a copy of Twilight?

[Lord of Alcohol]

Newspaper claims car thief transformed into a goat
posted: Jan 23th 2009 8:37:43 PMPrint Share Text Size A AALAGOS, Nigeria -One of Nigeria's biggest daily newspapers reported that police implicated a goat in an attempted automobile theft. In a front-page article on Friday, the Vanguard newspaper said that two men tried to steal a Mazda car two days earlier in Kwara State, with one suspect transforming himself into a goat as vigilantes cornered him.
The paper quoted police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed into a goat as he was about to be apprehended.
The newspaper reported that police paraded the goat before journalists, and published a picture of the animal.
Police in the state couldn't immediately be reached for comment.
Belief in black magic is widespread in Nigeria, particularly in far-flung rural areas.
Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

[Firestormalpha]

Wow, whatever they're using over in Nigeria, I know some people who might like it.