What is the funniest thing that has happened? - Page 3

Epona · 05-03-2002, 05:17 AM

OK, OK, here's one from me that's not alcohol related (I had to think real hard about that [img]tongue.gif[/img] )

This was a few years back now. I was at my trades union annual conference. We'd been having trouble with a bunch of nazis getting into the conference centre and threatening some of the delegates, so a local anti-nazi campaign group set up a stall in the coffee bar as a bit of moral support and to scare the skinheads off.

I was wandering past the stall with my cup of coffee, and the guys looking after it asked me if I'd mind standing there for a few minutes while they went to grab a coffee. 'Not at all', I said, and sat down, expecting they'd be back in a few. Within 30 seconds a conference centre security guard appeared. The stall had been in the coffee bar for at least 2 days by this point, but I guess that by myself I looked like an easy target. He told me to move the stall, it wasn't allowed. I explained to him that it had been there 2 days already and it was an initiative supported by the union whos conference was taking place. He then called his colleague on the radio, and between them they tried to physically remove the stall - so I took a quick decision and sat on it, and started yelling to get the attention of some other delegates, who quickly surrounded the table.

Then things escalated. The security guard called the police, who arrived with sirens blaring. A crowd of upwards of 100 conference delegates had formed around me, demanding that the stall be allowed to remain. The police pushed their way through the crowd, and roughly started trying to cuff me, talking about some 'breach of the peace' bollocks (this is all taking place inside a private conference, not out on the street!) The delegates surrounding me managed to keep the police from getting to me though. The police got on their radios to call for backup, I could see the list of charges escalating - breach of the peace, resisting arrest, affray, blah blah blah. I was shitting myself at this point!

Fortunately for me, a few of the delegates ran into the conference hall and disrupted proceedings to let the other several thousand delegates and our union officials know what was going on. The situation was quickly resolved after that, people started flooding out of the conference to come stop me being arrested, and the officials told security and the police that the stall was part of the conference and should be allowed to remain. They didn't half feel stupid!

And a fun time was had by all - I was nicknamed 'the Rottweiler' for a while after that [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

[ 05-03-2002, 05:20 AM: Message edited by: Epona ]

Scholarcs · 05-03-2002, 05:23 AM

lol Epona that has to be one of the funniest!

my dad was out walking one day, and idling along the path...he walked straight into the trunk of a tree! dont ask me how...im embarressed...

Epona · 05-03-2002, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scholarcs:
lol Epona that has to be one of the funniest!

Glad you enjoyed it Scholarcs! The irony of it was that it wasn't even my stall! The guys who were running it came back from their coffee break after it had all died down and saw the mess (leaflets and stickers all over the floor) with a 'WTF HAPPENED!' expression on their faces. Then they were sorry they missed all the excitement. Funny how I always seem to be at the centre of these sorts of things [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img]

I have plenty more stories, but I'll spare you all for the moment. Yep, my life is nothing more than a series of humourous/drunken anecdotes - and I wouldn't have it any other way

But at least none of my stories begin... "This one time, at band camp..." [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

johnny · 05-03-2002, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Epona:

quote:
Originally posted by Scholarcs:
lol I think the funniest thing is that you keep calling Epona "dude". Do you often get called "dude" Epona?

Not often I get called 'dude' Scholarcs, but more common on the net - 'in the flesh' it's not so easy to make that mistake [img]tongue.gif[/img] Anyway, as long as he's not calling me 'f*ckwit' I'm happy [/QUOTE]don't worry, my mother raised a nice guy,so i settle with dude. That is if you don't mind dude ? lol

Epona · 05-03-2002, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by johnny:
don't worry, my mother raised a nice guy,so i settle with dude. That is if you don't mind dude ? lol

Naaah, Dude is just fine, doesn't bother me in the slightest. As long as you realise I'm a gal

Barry the Sprout · 05-03-2002, 10:23 AM

I might as well write the most recent one down, even though it is also rather embarassing. Me and 6 friends have decided this year to go on the cheapest and nastiest holiday we can find, with a view to drinking heavily whilst on it. Well, we put our names down on a site called "Greece Uncovered" once we had booked the holiday. It is a site where people put down when and where they are going with a view to meeting up when there. I was the only one with a hotmail address, so this got put down as the contact, and sure enough within days people started to talk to me on MSN. Including some girls from Burnley, who sent a photo and seemed to be particularly... errr... forward. So I told the other people going away with me, big mistake...

My mates obviously thought this was brilliant, not knowing a great deal about MSN and thinking that this was a straight and easy ride to sex. So last night we finally got everyone together, and using 3 computers in different parts of the hall of residence we started talking to these girls. Well, we had all had a few by this time of the evening, and it soon became apparent that whilst talking to people you don't know is amusing it isn't half as fun as insulting the person next door via your computer. And these weren't just insults like "You git". These were things Tom Green would blush to say. We were all in absolute stitches typing stuff like "ur mamas an astronaut" to each other, with these poor women lost in the middle of the conversation. Eventually they all just left us to it and we continued to insult each other into the early hours. Our post-mortem of the event was taken shortly afterwards and we concluded that we were all prats, but that it had been absolutely hilarious all the same.

They then all attempted to bundle me and cut my hair. But it was all in good fun.

Horatio · 05-03-2002, 12:13 PM

Oh, just realised I didn't put something down. Hmm, okay, something that won't get me in trouble with the police...

Few years back, when I woz still in school, I went on a skool trip to France. Okay, it was a dingy youth hostel, but when yor 17 and in a dorm with yor mates, that don't matter. Alright, there was this kid none of us really liked called Reg, who had somehow been allocated into our dorm. We waited for him to fall asleep, then got his trousers that we knew he woz gonna wear next morning and smeared chocolate around the inside of the a$$ area. This will make sense sense when I tell you that the owners of the youth hostel had around 9 dogs.

. Okay, so next morning, Reg wakes up and puts on his trousers. We follow him down to the dining hall for breakfast, and suddenly these dogs start to sniff at his a$$. Everyone laughs, thinking that Reg has skids in his underwear. Reg protests, and even pulled down his trousers to see wot they were smelling. Anyway, the chocolate had dried into that brown-yellow colour that REALLY makes you wanna [img]graemlins/2puke.gif[/img] . And it looks like...the thing we were trying to simulate. I laughed so hard I felt sick afterwards.

BTW, in case you think that we were extremely mean, I'd like to remind you that I was younger, and that we all eventually got caught in the end.

Horatio · 05-06-2002, 12:12 PM

Oh, just heard another one. This actually happened to a friend of mine.

My friend is a teacher for six-year-olds. The other afternoon she was reading "The Three BillyGoats Gruff" to her class. Most of the class hadn't heard this before. Anyway, she got to the bit where the troll jumps up on the bridge just in front of the first goat.
"And what do you think the troll said?" my friend asked.
A little girl named Alice sticks up her hand, and in all seriousness says:

"Get off my bridge, yer bastard!"

My friend nearly fell over when telling this to me.

05-03-2002, 05:17 AM	#21
Epona Zartan Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 53 Posts: 5,164	OK, OK, here's one from me that's not alcohol related (I had to think real hard about that [img]tongue.gif[/img] ) This was a few years back now. I was at my trades union annual conference. We'd been having trouble with a bunch of nazis getting into the conference centre and threatening some of the delegates, so a local anti-nazi campaign group set up a stall in the coffee bar as a bit of moral support and to scare the skinheads off. I was wandering past the stall with my cup of coffee, and the guys looking after it asked me if I'd mind standing there for a few minutes while they went to grab a coffee. 'Not at all', I said, and sat down, expecting they'd be back in a few. Within 30 seconds a conference centre security guard appeared. The stall had been in the coffee bar for at least 2 days by this point, but I guess that by myself I looked like an easy target. He told me to move the stall, it wasn't allowed. I explained to him that it had been there 2 days already and it was an initiative supported by the union whos conference was taking place. He then called his colleague on the radio, and between them they tried to physically remove the stall - so I took a quick decision and sat on it, and started yelling to get the attention of some other delegates, who quickly surrounded the table. Then things escalated. The security guard called the police, who arrived with sirens blaring. A crowd of upwards of 100 conference delegates had formed around me, demanding that the stall be allowed to remain. The police pushed their way through the crowd, and roughly started trying to cuff me, talking about some 'breach of the peace' bollocks (this is all taking place inside a private conference, not out on the street!) The delegates surrounding me managed to keep the police from getting to me though. The police got on their radios to call for backup, I could see the list of charges escalating - breach of the peace, resisting arrest, affray, blah blah blah. I was shitting myself at this point! Fortunately for me, a few of the delegates ran into the conference hall and disrupted proceedings to let the other several thousand delegates and our union officials know what was going on. The situation was quickly resolved after that, people started flooding out of the conference to come stop me being arrested, and the officials told security and the police that the stall was part of the conference and should be allowed to remain. They didn't half feel stupid! And a fun time was had by all - I was nicknamed 'the Rottweiler' for a while after that [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [ 05-03-2002, 05:20 AM: Message edited by: Epona ] __________________ [img]\"http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/epona.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

05-03-2002, 05:23 AM	#22
Scholarcs Red Dragon Join Date: December 5, 2001 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Age: 38 Posts: 1,557	lol Epona that has to be one of the funniest! my dad was out walking one day, and idling along the path...he walked straight into the trunk of a tree! dont ask me how...im embarressed... __________________ <br />\"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five\" - Groucho Marx<br />Member of the ORT Clan. <br />\"Some birds are not meant to be caged because their feathers are too bright\"<br />Ma bouche sera la bouche des malheurs qui n\'ont point de bouche, ma voix, la liberté de celles qui s\'affaissent au cachot du désespoir. - Aimé Césaire<br />La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l\'on n\'a pas ri. - Sébastien Roch Nicolas

05-03-2002, 10:23 AM	#26
Barry the Sprout White Dragon Join Date: October 19, 2001 Location: York, UK. Age: 41 Posts: 1,815	I might as well write the most recent one down, even though it is also rather embarassing. Me and 6 friends have decided this year to go on the cheapest and nastiest holiday we can find, with a view to drinking heavily whilst on it. Well, we put our names down on a site called "Greece Uncovered" once we had booked the holiday. It is a site where people put down when and where they are going with a view to meeting up when there. I was the only one with a hotmail address, so this got put down as the contact, and sure enough within days people started to talk to me on MSN. Including some girls from Burnley, who sent a photo and seemed to be particularly... errr... forward. So I told the other people going away with me, big mistake... My mates obviously thought this was brilliant, not knowing a great deal about MSN and thinking that this was a straight and easy ride to sex. So last night we finally got everyone together, and using 3 computers in different parts of the hall of residence we started talking to these girls. Well, we had all had a few by this time of the evening, and it soon became apparent that whilst talking to people you don't know is amusing it isn't half as fun as insulting the person next door via your computer. And these weren't just insults like "You git". These were things Tom Green would blush to say. We were all in absolute stitches typing stuff like "ur mamas an astronaut" to each other, with these poor women lost in the middle of the conversation. Eventually they all just left us to it and we continued to insult each other into the early hours. Our post-mortem of the event was taken shortly afterwards and we concluded that we were all prats, but that it had been absolutely hilarious all the same. They then all attempted to bundle me and cut my hair. But it was all in good fun. __________________ [img]\"http://img1.ranchoweb.com/images/sproutman/certwist.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br /><i>\"And the angels all pallid and wan,<br />Uprising, unveiling, affirm,<br />That the play is the tragedy, man,<br />And its hero the Conquerer Worm.\"</i><br /> - Edgar Allan Poe

05-03-2002, 12:13 PM	#27
Horatio Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 19, 2001 Location: Behind these metal bars Age: 41 Posts: 3,117	Oh, just realised I didn't put something down. Hmm, okay, something that won't get me in trouble with the police... Few years back, when I woz still in school, I went on a skool trip to France. Okay, it was a dingy youth hostel, but when yor 17 and in a dorm with yor mates, that don't matter. Alright, there was this kid none of us really liked called Reg, who had somehow been allocated into our dorm. We waited for him to fall asleep, then got his trousers that we knew he woz gonna wear next morning and smeared chocolate around the inside of the a$$ area. This will make sense sense when I tell you that the owners of the youth hostel had around 9 dogs. . Okay, so next morning, Reg wakes up and puts on his trousers. We follow him down to the dining hall for breakfast, and suddenly these dogs start to sniff at his a$$. Everyone laughs, thinking that Reg has skids in his underwear. Reg protests, and even pulled down his trousers to see wot they were smelling. Anyway, the chocolate had dried into that brown-yellow colour that REALLY makes you wanna [img]graemlins/2puke.gif[/img] . And it looks like...the thing we were trying to simulate. I laughed so hard I felt sick afterwards. BTW, in case you think that we were extremely mean, I'd like to remind you that I was younger, and that we all eventually got caught in the end. __________________ I <b>am</b> the party!!<br /> [img]\"http://zert0.net/iuti/img2/1381585-vi.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

05-06-2002, 12:12 PM	#28
Horatio Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 19, 2001 Location: Behind these metal bars Age: 41 Posts: 3,117	Oh, just heard another one. This actually happened to a friend of mine. My friend is a teacher for six-year-olds. The other afternoon she was reading "The Three BillyGoats Gruff" to her class. Most of the class hadn't heard this before. Anyway, she got to the bit where the troll jumps up on the bridge just in front of the first goat. "And what do you think the troll said?" my friend asked. A little girl named Alice sticks up her hand, and in all seriousness says: "Get off my bridge, yer bastard!" My friend nearly fell over when telling this to me. __________________ I <b>am</b> the party!!<br /> [img]\"http://zert0.net/iuti/img2/1381585-vi.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

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