Out of the mouths of babes (for fun)

Sazerac · 05-27-2001, 11:08 PM

Thought the place needed some lightening up.

__________________________________________________ ______________________________

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when
a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning.
As I came into my bedroom about 2A.M., I found my two
children in bed with my wife,Karey, apparently scared
by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the
guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to
the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep
with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected
home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.

After my next trip, several weeks later, Karey and the
children came to pick me up at the airport.
Since the plane was late, they had come into the
terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with
hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving
passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me,
and came running, shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good
news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"
"Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!"
Alex shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone
in the waiting area looked at Alex, turned to me, and then
searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out
exactly who his Mom was.

-------------------------------------------

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this
story about her then 4yr. old daughter.
On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope
on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began
playing with it. "How wonderful," thought my friend,
"my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and become a doctor!"
Then the child spoke into the instrument:
"Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

-------------------------------------------

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

-------------------------------------------

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

--------------------------------------------

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

--------------------------------------------

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with
fascination. He looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then
something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it
closely.

It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the
pages.

"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:
"It's Adam's suit!!!!!"

--------------------------------------------

At the beginning of an Easter Sunday children's sermon,
one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress.
As the children were sitting down around the pastor,
he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty
dress. Is it your Easter dress?"

The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's microphone, "Yes,
and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

----------------------------------------------

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the
barber chair, eating a snack cake, while her dad gets his hair cut. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

adam warlock · 05-27-2001, 11:12 PM

this from the commercial I just saw...

the boy approached the bride at the wedding
boy: "my mom says that she can't believe that you wore white."

Nostron · 05-27-2001, 11:17 PM

LOL, it's this post is like that one show "Kids says the darnest thing"

------------------
That's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Cloudbringer · 05-27-2001, 11:21 PM

Saz! I love it! You done good!

TEEHEE those really are a riot...

Cloudy

------------------

Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever

Bahamut · 05-27-2001, 11:38 PM

that was hilarious...

nobody slept with mom !!!!

------------------

We have merged... and now we are called Chiharumut..wehehehe and... Stay ahead of the Avalanche or risk being buried...

RudeDawg · 05-29-2001, 01:16 AM

Good stuff...

------------------

The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil

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05-27-2001, 11:08 PM	#1
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	Thought the place needed some lightening up. __________________________________________________ ______________________________ Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2A.M., I found my two children in bed with my wife,Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK. After my next trip, several weeks later, Karey and the children came to pick me up at the airport. Since the plane was late, they had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running, shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?" "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was. ------------------------------------------- An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then 4yr. old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "How wonderful," thought my friend, "my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and become a doctor!" Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" ------------------------------------------- A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not." ------------------------------------------- A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" -------------------------------------------- A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." -------------------------------------------- A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination. He looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!!!!!" -------------------------------------------- At the beginning of an Easter Sunday children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron." ---------------------------------------------- A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, eating a snack cake, while her dad gets his hair cut. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

05-27-2001, 11:12 PM	#2
adam warlock Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: I live inside of my mind..... Age: 53 Posts: 3,234	this from the commercial I just saw... the boy approached the bride at the wedding boy: "my mom says that she can't believe that you wore white."

05-27-2001, 11:17 PM	#3
Nostron Manshoon Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: California Posts: 205	LOL, it's this post is like that one show "Kids says the darnest thing" ------------------ That's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

05-27-2001, 11:21 PM	#4
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	Saz! I love it! You done good! TEEHEE those really are a riot... Cloudy ------------------ Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen StormCloud of the Black Knight Heart Mind Soul Forever

05-27-2001, 11:38 PM	#5
Bahamut Iron Throne Cult Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: Manila, Philippines Age: 39 Posts: 4,864	that was hilarious... nobody slept with mom !!!! ------------------ We have merged... and now we are called Chiharumut..wehehehe and... Stay ahead of the Avalanche or risk being buried...

05-29-2001, 01:16 AM	#6
RudeDawg 20th Level Warrior Join Date: April 9, 2001 Location: Dallas, Tx, USA Age: 55 Posts: 2,830	Good stuff... ------------------ The RudeDawg Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes and my girlfriends, Pamila and Pfil

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