Joke - Why did the Chicken Cross the Road

[Timber Loftis]

> > WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
> >
> >
> > GEORGE W. BUSH
> >
> > 1. I don't think I should have to answer that question.
> > 2. But, if I have to, I would tell you it must have been because Saddam Hussein was harboring weapons of mass destruction. The chicken sought what the world needs: to Attack Iraq. I like the way that sounds, don't you? Attack Iraq. Say it fast with me: AttackIraq.
> >
> >
> > AL GORE
> >
> > I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
> > crossing the road represented the application of these two different
> > functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
>greater
> > services to the American people.
> >
> >
> >
> > RALPH NADER
> >
> > The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
> > polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
> > unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed
>by
> > the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
> >
> >
> >
> > PAT BUCHANAN
> >
> > To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
> >
> >
> >
> > RUSH LIMBAUGH
> > I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
> > getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
> > there
> > is already forming a support group to help chickens with
>crossing-the-road
> > syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
> > take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when
>I
> > say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
> > from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
> >
> >
> >
> > MARTHA STEWART
> >
> > No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
> > standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
> > dropped
> > to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
> >
> >
> >
> > JERRY FALWELL
> >
> > Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
> > the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
>"other
> > side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that
> > chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
> > say
> > we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
> > liberal
> > media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
> >
> >
> >
> > DR. SEUSS
> >
> > Did the chicken cross the road?
> >
> > Did he cross it with a toad?
> >
> > Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
> >
> > But why it crossed, I've not been told!
> >
> >
> >
> > ERNEST HEMINGWAY
> >
> > To die. In the rain. Alone.
> >
> >
> >
> > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
> >
> > I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
> > without having their motives called into question.
> >
> >
> >
> > GRANDPA
> >
> > In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
> > told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
> > us.
> >
> >
> >
> > BARBARA WALTERS
> >
> > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
> > chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
> > suffered
> > a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream
>of
> > crossing the road.
> >
> >
> >
> > JOHN LENNON
> >
> > Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
> >
> >
> >
> > ARISTOTLE
> >
> > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> >
> >
> >
> > KARL MARX
> >
> > It was a historical inevitability.
> >
> >
> >
> > SADDAM HUSSEIN
> >
> > This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
> > in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
> >
> >
> >
> > VOLTAIRE
> >
> > I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
> > death its right to do it.
> >
> >
> >
> > RONALD REAGAN
> >
> > What chicken?
> >
> >
> >
> > CAPTAIN KIRK
> >
> > To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> >
> >
> >
> > FOX MULDER
> >
> > You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
> > have to cross before you believe it?
> >
> >
> >
> > SIGMUND FREUD
> >
> > The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
> > road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
> >
> >
> >
> > BILL GATES
> >
> > I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads,
> > but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
> > checkbook
> > and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
> >
> >
> >
> > ALBERT EINSTEIN
> >
> > Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
> > the chicken?
> >
> >
> >
> > BILL CLINTON
> >
> > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
> > chicken? Could you define chicken please?
> >
> >
> >
> > THE BIBLE
> >
> > And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
> > "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there
> > was
> > much rejoicing.
> >
> >
> >
> > COLONEL SANDERS
> >
> > I missed one?

[lucius]

funny but some were just stupid

[Djinn Raffo]

hahah good stuff Timber.. I especially liked Jerry Falwells and Colonel Sanders..

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

I've seen this a few times but it is always good for a laugh

[Irongrinder]

hehe, I liked them although some I didn't know, because I don't know the person in subject, for example Ralph Nader and Pat Buchanan. But nonetheless I liked the rest [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Dandad]

Cluck, cluck. Cluck, cluck, cluck. Cluck... brilliant!

Dandad

[SecretMaster]

LOL, pretty damn good. Where do you find this stuff?

[Sir Krustin]

....because he was stapled to the punk rocker.

[Melusine]

Originally posted by SecretMaster: LOL, pretty damn good. Where do you find this stuff?

Uh, just about everywhere on the net [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Like Azrael, seen it before plenty of times, but I do think it has its hilarious moments. And there were a few new ones in this version that I didn't know. Very funny!! [img]smile.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[SomeGuy]

You forgot one...
The bear of the muppets(One of them said this joke)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side! I liked the Last one. I missed one?