Gripe sheet

Judas Maccabeus · 07-30-2003, 11:56 PM

Got this in an e-mail.
--------
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some "actual" (

) logged maintenance
complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers

P = The problem logged by the pilot.) S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Deejax · 07-31-2003, 08:55 AM

LOL Maybe it's just me, but I cannot stop myself from laughing reading these kind of jokes. [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Hmm, some colleagues are asking me if i'm alright. [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img]

Xen · 07-31-2003, 09:06 AM

Hilarious i tell you...

liz76love · 07-31-2003, 09:38 AM

Whoa,
I hope I dont ride on that airplane.

Bruce The Aussie · 07-31-2003, 09:54 AM

he he he he...ha ha ha ha ROFL....i love it [img]smile.gif[/img]

Donut · 07-31-2003, 10:58 AM

Seen these before but I still laugh at them. We don't get enough jokes on IW.

Harkoliar · 08-01-2003, 12:50 AM

first time ive heard of theset things.. so funny!!!

07-30-2003, 11:56 PM	#1
Judas Maccabeus The Magister Join Date: November 10, 2002 Location: Kentucky Age: 36 Posts: 125	Got this in an e-mail. -------- Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some "actual" ( ) logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers P = The problem logged by the pilot.) S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. __________________ <br /><br />\'Far be it from me to do such a thing as flee from them! If our time has come, let us die bravely for our kinsmen and not leave a stain upon our glory!\'<br />--1 Maccabees 9:10

07-31-2003, 08:55 AM	#2
Deejax Manshoon Join Date: November 15, 2002 Location: Amsterdam Age: 47 Posts: 248	LOL Maybe it's just me, but I cannot stop myself from laughing reading these kind of jokes. [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Hmm, some colleagues are asking me if i'm alright. [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img] __________________ <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[firedevil]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/firedevil.gif\" /> Fire...

07-31-2003, 10:58 AM	#6
Donut Jack Burton Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Airstrip One Age: 40 Posts: 5,571	Seen these before but I still laugh at them. We don't get enough jokes on IW. __________________ [img]\"http://www.wheatsheaf.freeserve.co.uk/roastspurs.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br />Proud member of the Axis of Upheaval<br />Official Titterer of the Laughing Hyenas<br />Josiah Bartlet - the best President the US never had.<br />The 1st D in the D & D Show

08-01-2003, 12:50 AM	#7
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 41 Posts: 5,556	first time ive heard of theset things.. so funny!!! __________________ Catch me if you can..

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
just need a chance to gripe	Stormymystic	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	10	05-17-2004 09:59 PM
While my gripe with this game is...	Andraste	Neverwinter Nights 1 & 2 Also SoU & HotU Forum	4	10-04-2003 06:44 AM
My gripe with this game...	Jorath Calar	Neverwinter Nights 1 & 2 Also SoU & HotU Forum	18	09-21-2003 02:54 PM
Where can I find some free sheet music	Sir Goulum	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	4	01-17-2003 07:58 AM
What the bloody hell happened to my chromed metal sheet?	Jon Smallberries	Miscellaneous Games (RPG or not)	3	01-14-2002 12:56 PM

07-31-2003, 09:06 AM	#3
Xen Symbol of Moradin Join Date: June 5, 2002 Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana Age: 36 Posts: 8,554	Hilarious i tell you...

07-31-2003, 09:38 AM	#4
liz76love Dungeon Master Join Date: July 15, 2003 Location: florida Age: 48 Posts: 50	Whoa, I hope I dont ride on that airplane.

07-31-2003, 09:54 AM	#5
Bruce The Aussie Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: March 2, 2001 Location: Chaotica (london,england) Age: 37 Posts: 1,798	he he he he...ha ha ha ha ROFL....i love it [img]smile.gif[/img]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)