Seeking Editorial HELP

[Timber Loftis]

I plan on sending out this email today. Anyone offering editorial comments would be very appreciated. I want to look at least a little wise. It is an email to my Republican Senator.
________________________________________
The RNC prompted me to act by forwarding me an email update. They want me to encourage you to support President Bush's economic incentives plan. I, however, wish to speak more broadly.

Tax cuts will and can boost the economy. However, tax cuts absent decreases in spending will only take out a line of credit that it already costs too much to keep afloat yearly. It is irresponsible, and as the "business party" the only reason I can think of Republicans supporting such an idea is that it's somebody else's money. Well, it's not, as we all pay taxes -- including those taxes that pay the stupidly-high interest payments on the national debt.

Big government is the problem. Tax cuts should represent a little governmental restraint. However, without concurrent spending cuts, tax cuts only represent big government using our children's tax dollars to fund big government now.

I don't expect you to listen. I am sure you are as owned as every politician in that useless bureaucratic hell-hole known as D.C. But, at least I'll sleep a little better knowing I tried.

Pass the tax cut -- but only after you've cut the budget. You Congressmen and Senators are like children when it comes to spending, you don't know when to say "no." What's worse, you can't be bothered to look past today's buyoff by the nearest BigCorp exchanging campaign money for political favors. It is a silly nepotism that must end lest our nation keep spiraling downward in terms of efficiency and responsibility of government.

I live in the 60605 area code, and am a constituent. I am a laywer in Chicago.

[Night Stalker]

You're ok right up to the third paragraph. If you expect him to take any notice, you might want to veil the insults a bit more. Honey catches more flies than vinegar.

I like the train of thought of Big Gov. Run with that a bit more. Propose something that might sparks an idea for a solution in his head.

Reminding him that you are a constituent is very nice.

Let us know if he replies.

[WillowIX]

I must say I liked it Timber. No sugar coating. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] I would reconsider the "you" in "You Congressmen...." though. To him it may sound as a personal attack and lead to a simple delete. You could write "Congressmen and Senators are like children...." and still make a point. Keep all the other "you"s in the paragraph and the arow still finds its target. Not a big deal though.

I love this part:

I don't expect you to listen. I am sure you are as owned as every politician in that useless bureaucratic hell-hole known as D.C. But, at least I'll sleep a little better knowing I tried.

[Stormymystic]

I live in the 60605 area code, and am a constituent. I am a laywer in Chicago.

there is nosuch area code, do you mean zip code?

[mysticelt]

Timber, sweetie,

Would you want to finish reading something with such inflamatory sentences? They will toss your letter into the "another ranting idiot" pile if it even makes it past the antrax screening. Nothing you say is outrageous...but attitude? I suggest a toning of the adjectives (You asked!....now do I agree with you?)

[Timber Loftis]

New Version. More comments please. Thanks for good info so far.
__________________________________________________ ______

The RNC prompted me to act by forwarding me an email update. They want me to encourage you to support President Bush's economic incentives plan. I, however, wish to speak more broadly.

Tax cuts will and can boost the economy. However, tax cuts absent decreases in spending will only take out a line of credit that it already costs too much to keep afloat yearly. It is irresponsible, and as the "business party" the only reason I can think of Republicans supporting such an idea is that it's somebody else's money. Well, it's not, as we all pay taxes -- including those taxes that pay the stupidly-high interest payments on the national debt.

Big government is the problem. Tax cuts should represent a little governmental restraint. However, without concurrent spending cuts, tax cuts only represent big government using our children's tax dollars to fund big government now. Do Republicans really want to cut into big government, put it on a diet, and make it lose some weight, or is the party line mere lip service?

Pass the tax cut -- but only after you've cut the budget. Congressmen and Senators are like children when it comes to spending, often not knowing when to say "no." The problem is only worse when our trusted public servants can't be bothered to look past today's buyoff by the nearest "BigCorp" exchanging campaign money for political favors. It is a silly neo-nepotism that must end lest our nation keep spiraling downward in terms of efficiency and responsibility of government.

I live in the 60605 zip code, and am a constituent. I am a laywer in Chicago.

I don't expect you to listen. I know you are busy, I know you get lots of mail, and I am mindful that you may well be as owned as most politicians in that useless bureaucratic hell-hole known as D.C. But, at least I'll sleep a little better knowing I tried.

[Bungleau]

My thoughts...

Originally posted by Timber Loftis: I plan on sending out this email today. Anyone offering editorial comments would be very appreciated. I want to look at least a little wise. It is an email to my Republican Senator. ________________________________________ The RNC prompted me to act by forwarding me an email update. They want me to encourage you to support President Bush's economic incentives plan. I, however, wish to speak more broadly. An email from the RNC has prompted this message. It urges me to encourage you to support President Bush's economic incentives plan, but I feel I must encourage you to withhold your support. Tax cuts will and can boost the economy. However, tax cuts absent decreases in spending will only take out a line of credit that it already costs too much to keep afloat yearly. It is irresponsible, and as the "business party", the only reason I can think of Republicans supporting such an idea is that it's somebody else's money. Well, it's not, as we all pay taxes -- including those taxes that pay the stupidly-high - delete this interest payments on the national debt. Big government is the problem. Tax cuts should represent a little governmental restraint. However, without concurrent spending cuts, tax cuts only represent big government using our children's tax dollars to fund big government now. I don't expect you to listen. I am sure you are as owned as every politician in that useless bureaucratic hell-hole known as D.C. But, at least I'll sleep a little better knowing I tried. I'd delete this paragraph, or reshape it as follows: I realize that you get responses from a variety of constituents, and I hope that this message is the one that tips the pendulum to the side of restraint. Pass the tax cut -- but only after you've cut the budget. You Congressmen and Senators are like children when it comes to spending, you don't know when to say "no." What's worse, you can't be bothered to look past today's buyoff by the nearest BigCorp exchanging campaign money for political favors. It is a silly nepotism that must end lest our nation keep spiraling downward in terms of efficiency and responsibility of government. delete the above paragraph, or reword as something like... Pass the tax cut -- but only after you've cut the budget. Decreasing income without decreasing spending is the kind of egotistical prestidigitation that the Democrats are reknowned for, and not the Republicans. I'd hate to think we've stooped as low as they have. It doesn't work in the business world, and it doesn't work in the real world either. I live in the 60605 ZIP code, and am a constituent. I am a laywer in Chicago.Does this add anything?

Originally posted by Timber Loftis: I plan on sending out this email today. Anyone offering editorial comments would be very appreciated. I want to look at least a little wise. It is an email to my Republican Senator. ________________________________________ The RNC prompted me to act by forwarding me an email update. They want me to encourage you to support President Bush's economic incentives plan. I, however, wish to speak more broadly. Tax cuts will and can boost the economy. However, tax cuts absent decreases in spending will only take out a line of credit that it already costs too much to keep afloat yearly. It is irresponsible, and as the "business party" the only reason I can think of Republicans supporting such an idea is that it's somebody else's money. Well, it's not, as we all pay taxes -- including those taxes that pay the stupidly-high interest payments on the national debt. Big government is the problem. Tax cuts should represent a little governmental restraint. However, without concurrent spending cuts, tax cuts only represent big government using our children's tax dollars to fund big government now. I don't expect you to listen. I am sure you are as owned as every politician in that useless bureaucratic hell-hole known as D.C. But, at least I'll sleep a little better knowing I tried. This paragraph is...questionable. Your bearing up to here is reasonable, correct and based on fact. Pass the tax cut -- but only after you've cut the budget. You Congressmen and Senators are like children when it comes to spending, you don't know when to say "no." What's worse, you can't be bothered to look past today's buyoff by the nearest BigCorp exchanging campaign money for political favors. It is a silly nepotism that must end lest our nation keep spiraling downward in terms of efficiency and responsibility of government. Almost sound fanatical here. I live in the 60605 area code, and am a constituent. I am a laywer in Chicago.

I agree with what you said but I think you got a bit crazed there at the end [img]smile.gif[/img]

Originally posted by Timber Loftis: New Version. More comments please. Thanks for good info so far. __________________________________________________ ______ The I don't expect you to listen. I know you are busy, I know you get lots of mail, and I am mindful that you may well be as owned as most politicians in that useless bureaucratic hell-hole known as D.C. But, at least I'll sleep a little better knowing I tried.

I think this whole paragraph should go or be re-worded. Perhaps...

I will hope you read this and understand. I know you are busy, I know you get lots of mail. We your constituents usually think of politicians as being owned by PAC's Big Corps. and Special interests, please prove that image false.....


or some such....

[Timber Loftis]

Originally posted by Bungleau: I live in the 60605 ZIP code, and am a constituent. I am a laywer in Chicago.Does this add anything?

Thanks, Bungleau. Ummm.... the lawyer thing does add a thing or two. (1) a professional, (2) not as likely a nutbag, (3) knows a lot of people, and (4) most importantly, is a member of the same profession as my Senator.

I liked some of your language, and may steal it. Egotistical prestidigitation just doesn't sound like me, though. But, maybe...

[ 05-22-2003, 03:17 PM: Message edited by: Timber Loftis ]