Halloween safety rules for all..

[J.J.]

>Halloween Rules
>
>With Halloween upon us, it is worthwhile to remember a few simple rules
>to help keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE!! Please use these
>helpful hints this and every year.
>
>
>1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see
>if it's really dead.
>
>2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
>
>3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
>
>4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which
>they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of
>grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to
>kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with
>somebody else's voice.
>
>5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.
>
>6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
>
>7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would
>apply to any other house of the dead as well.
>
>8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find
>out that it's just the cat, GET THE HECK OUT!
>
>9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short
>circuits; just get out.
>
>10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
>
>11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good
>reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
>
>12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
>know what you're doing.
>
>13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
>least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact
>that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's
>still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
>
>14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
>behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
>increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
>
>15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
>listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in
>trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws
>are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
>
>16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to
>the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that
>it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a
>tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most
>likely be eaten.
>
>17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple
>guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers,
>butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from
>deceased companions.
>
>18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the
>time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had
>previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some
>horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who
>performed satanic practices.
>
>19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old
>house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight,
>not a candle.
>
>20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can
>flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.
>
>22. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.



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Amanda's Dad-Best Damn Job, Period.

Official Pin-Up Girl Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[DragonMage]

Some more:

If you hear something outside, do NOT open the door!

Ladies, if you are wearing high heels and you hear something behind you - kick them off and run!

If you feel hot breath on the back of your neck: do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT turn around and look!

------------------

Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness

Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.
Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force
Sublime Sister of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever!
Second Historian and Scribe of IW. Mother Hen of IW.
Mage extraordinair, Pin-Up Girl for the OLD-COOTS
Magey-Wagey: performer in the Nekked Dancing Trio of the ORT.

Hopeless Romantic *sigh*

[Link]

Another one: Believe kids that say: I keep seeing dead people!

------------------


Guns don't kill people, people kill other people.
So, therefore:
Nobody moves! Give me your wallet! I'm holding a person right here!


Link
Overlord Executioner, Slayer of Fluffed Beings
Member of Clan HADB
Supreme Warrior of Myst
Official Entertainer in Cloudy's Cafe

[Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by DragonMage: Some more: If you hear something outside, do NOT open the door! Ladies, if you are wearing high heels and you hear something behind you - kick them off and run! If you feel hot breath on the back of your neck: do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT turn around and look!

If you feel hot breath on the back of your neck, then you can just know that you'll smell something cheesy!!

ain't I a stinka?

------------------
"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
-Robert McCloskey

• Token lackwit of HADB
• Sycophant to the Wolf of Azure Hue
• Long lost brother of DragonMage
• Bearer of a work of art created by Sazerac
• Jeg burde blive gennembanket for min flatulens.[/list]
  [This message has been edited by Hiram Sedai (edited 10-26-2001).]

[Neb]

If you really MUST investigate an old cemetary, crypt or tunnel, NEVER do so during the night.

NEVER go after the monster unarmed.

If you happen to have guns when the monster shows up, run, do not shoot at it, it probably won't be harmed by them.

Friendly-looking strangers should be avoided, so should nice old ladies, they're probably either shapeshifting monsters, possessed by a demon, maniacal murderers or ghosts.

When someone tells you NOT to go into the haunted crypt, house, cemetary, cellar or whatever, DON'T!

If someone you know mysteriously dissapears, call the cops, don't go into haunted or scary places to find them yourself, especially not unarmed.

If it looks as though the main villain/monster is dead, instead of checking whether it's dead or not by going over to it and examining it, empty a few rounds into it instead.

[Link]

Found myself some others:
When the monster is dead, don't start celebrating! Even monsters don't come alone! There's always another one!

Never enter a house/cave etc. without a GOOD working flashlight.

When you get the feeling you're being watched, don't just stand there doing your sheep imitation, just RUN!

------------------


Guns don't kill people, people kill other people.
So, therefore:
Nobody moves! Give me your wallet! I'm holding a person right here!


Link
Overlord Executioner, Slayer of Fluffed Beings
Member of Clan HADB
Supreme Warrior of Myst
Official Entertainer in Cloudy's Cafe

[DragonMage]

Never stand with your back to a window at night.

Also: Never take a shower in a strange hotel.

Never let anything hang over the edge of the bed.

------------------

Alureth...Dragon friend of Breanna, Mage and Advisor in the Court of Lady Lioness

Co-Owner/Operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.
Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force
Sublime Sister of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever!
Second Historian and Scribe of IW. Mother Hen of IW.
Mage extraordinair, Pin-Up Girl for the OLD-COOTS
Magey-Wagey: performer in the Nekked Dancing Trio of the ORT.

Hopeless Romantic *sigh*

[This message has been edited by DragonMage (edited 10-26-2001).]

[DragonMage]

*bump*

[MILAMBER]

Oops, had no idea this was already here. I'll delete my thread.

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)

Member of CLAN HADB

[Melusine]

Originally posted by MILAMBER: Oops, had no idea this was already here. I'll delete my thread.

argh - I just said Hi in it
Oh well - Hi again, Mil, long time no see!


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Melusine, Sultry Elflet,
High Queen of Fluffies,
Archbabe of the OHF,
LH, HADB and ORT!

Your voice is ambrosia
Amy Brown Fantasy Art