Post Jokes Here

[Lifetime]

No offence to any blondes intended for this post. They can't all be stupid
WARNING! Bad jokes ahead!


Thats the difference between a blonde and a brick?
If you lay a brick it does'nt follow you around.

What do blondes have in common with railroads?
They both get laid.

What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a swimming pool?
Air Pockets.

What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel?
an Air Bag.

Why was the blonde's belly button sore?
Her boyfriend was a blonde too.

What do you call a blonde with 2 braincells?
Pregnant.

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
Artificial intelligence.

What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.

What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.

What do you call a fly that flies into a blonde's head?
A Space Invader

Why did God create blondes?
Because sheep can't bring beer to the fridge.

Why did God create brunettes?
Neither can blondes.

Whats the difference between a blonde track team and a band of smart pygmies?
One's a bunch of cunning runts.

Whats the difference between a blonde and the Suez Canal?
One is a busy ditch.

What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning?
A visitor.

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving

A blonde's response when someone tells her to Think about it.
"I dont HAVE to think! I'm Blonde!"



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Why?

[Jak_TCM]

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

Another one said, "How do you know?"

The first inmate said, "God told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

------------------
Jak
Jak_TCM@Hotmail.com

[Mouse]

Not so much a joke - more like another one of these list type thingies


20 Things it takes a Lifetime to Learn

1.Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.

2.If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full
potential, that word would be "meetings."

3.There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental
illness." Golf?

4.People who want to share their religious or political
views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5.And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its
glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will
not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6.You should not confuse your career with your life.

7.No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to
take it too seriously.

8.When trouble arises and things look bad, there is
always one individual who perceives a solution and
is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

9.Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and
dance.

10.Never lick a steak knife.

11.Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12.The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13.You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14.You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless
you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15.There comes a time when you should stop expecting
other people to make a big deal about your birthday.
That time is age 11.

16.The one thing that unites all human beings,
regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status
or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all
believe that we are above average drivers.

17.The main accomplishment of almost all organized
protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person.

19.Your friends love you anyway.

20.Never argue with an idiot; people watching can't tell
which is which.

------------------
Regards



Mouse

[This message has been edited by Mouse (edited 07-08-2001).]