Meanest mom on the planet...

[Marty4]

Originally Posted by Felix The Assassin Would you like that served on fine china, or gold with silver trim?

China, please. Then I can smash that, too.

[Firestormalpha]

I take it your parents were never to big on discipline then?

Honestly the Mom paid for the car, laid down the rules. Obviously her son doesn't like it, but he was clearly raised in an environment where parental authority is enforced. Not nearly enough of that going on these days. And then parents want to blame the gov., schools, TV, and video games for their kids getting in trouble.

[Marty4]

Originally Posted by Firestormalpha I take it your parents were never to big on discipline then? Honestly the Mom paid for the car, laid down the rules. Obviously her son doesn't like it, but he was clearly raised in an environment where parental authority is enforced. Not nearly enough of that going on these days. And then parents want to blame the gov., schools, TV, and video games for their kids getting in trouble.

<--- Age. I look forward to the point in my life where I can talk about how my parents "were" anything, as opposed to "are".

My parents are plenty strict, though I rarely do anything to warrant getting disciplined over. I'm all for parents enforcing rules; I've had too many friends screw up their lives already because their parents didn't care enough until it was too late.

However, as someone who is the same age as the boy in question, my opinion is that this kind of thing is WAY over the top. Barring some sort of history here, in which a large punishment is warranted, it seems like the parent in question has some serious issues. She's getting satisfaction and popularity out of publicly humiliating and heavily punishing her child. To me, thats not just discipline, thats escalation. I'd be driven more than ever to directly rebel against that sort of control if I were him.

[Firestormalpha]

The satisfaction from the publicity is excessive and wrong; I'll grant that.

But the conditions were laid out at the purchase of the car. No booze (who's it could be was not specified and is therefore all-encompassing), and always keep the door locked.

She found booze, case closed.

[Marty4]

Originally Posted by Firestormalpha The satisfaction from the publicity is excessive and wrong; I'll grant that. But the conditions were laid out at the purchase of the car. No booze (who's it could be was not specified and is therefore all-encompassing), and always keep the door locked. She found booze, case closed.

Punishment is definitely appropriate. Take the keys, take the computer, whatever.

Selling the car is pushing it. I don't know how well-off that family was or what kind of habits they have, but selling the kid's car would imply that he won't be behind the wheel at all until college. That is harsh as hell. The whole advertisement and public humiliation are just totally inappropriate, even for some sort of repeat-offending delinquent.

[Firestormalpha]

As I said, she laid down the rules long in advance, it's not like it was a decision she made on a whim.

Second, he's 19, in many states, if not all of them, that makes you an adult under the court system. If he were pulled over he'd be cited for the offense. If he were to take a swing at someone he'd be arrested. If he were to react as you suggested you might, he'd be arrest for destruction of personal property and face whatever consequences apply. He's an adult now, and flagging on his responsibility doesn't merit leniency. The only reason he has to put up with his mom's rules at all is that he still lives with her and is therefore under her jurisdiction.

[Bungleau]

Here's where it can get messy. If Mom bought the car and it's titled in her name, then she can do what she wants with it. If it's titled in Sonny Boy's name, she may not be able to.

However, just because she sold the car, that doesn't mean it's a pedestrian death sentence for Sonny Boy. He can certainly go to work, earn money, and buy his own car. Nothing will stop him from doing that. It may not be as nice as the one Mom bought... okay, at $3700 for a 99 Olds, that probably wasn't that nice either... but it's up to him to do something with and about it.

As for carrying it too far... I'd agree she has. The extra week was spiteful. I do believe that a message was delivered, and a message was received.

*note: Marty, this next bit is not directed at you, personally, indirectly, or anything like that. You just happen to be the same age as Sonny Boy, but the fact that you hang around a place like this makes you a much, much better person *

From my perspective, as a dad looking forward to these kinds of events in the future, I believe it's about a year late. My plan, such as it exists, is to raise my kids such that when they graduate, they are able to move out on their own and be responsible adults.

That doesn't mean I don't love and care for them, but I've seen too many cases of parents continuing to support their kids and not allowing them to grow up. As I think I've shared before, an old girlfriend's dad did everyone's taxes every year. Not because he was an accountant, or a CPA, or even because he knew anything about the tax code. He simply did it. I never found out if it was because he enjoyed it, or whether he didn't think they could handle it, but I sure didn't want him doing my taxes...

Ya gotta let 'em grow up. And ya gotta let 'em make mistakes, and face the consequences. I'm reminded of a friend's first car, that we all made fun of... and none of us had licenses, let alone cars, at that point.

She smiled, and told us it had four wheels, a roof, and went faster than her bicycle.

She had us beat on all three counts.

I'm not sure where this thought is wrapping up, but I think it comes down to the difference between rights and abilities. Many people confuse the *ability* to have nice things with the *right* to have nice things...

[Firestormalpha]

You know Bungleau, I like your post better than mine.

[LordKathen]

She may have gone a bit overboard with that extra week, but if it influences other parents not be afraid to "discipline" their kids, than so be it. Kids need to know that they are responsable for their actions. At least she didn't beat him in public!

[Spirits Reborn]

Originally Posted by Felix The Assassin You were drinking at 10? What has this world come to?

actually.. I did drink once when I was aroud that age - but that's a different story (i was curious! and it tasted bad at..that..time) lol