Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young!!

Gray Mage · 01-23-2002, 10:23 AM

Can any one relate to this??

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchrildren, nieces and nephews, or students, here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said was, "Don't".
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve, we have forbidden fruit!"
"No Way!"
"Yes, way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants).
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and was he ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent asked.
"Uh, huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed! But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
Advice for the Day.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin, and "Keep away from children."
A FEW ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS! ---
CHILDREN: You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home!!!!

Sir ReGiN · 01-23-2002, 11:00 AM

Oh god, that's so true

I don't have children of my own, but I appreciate it [img]smile.gif[/img]

01-23-2002, 11:59 AM

I HAVE children and It IS true!

Ryanamur · 01-23-2002, 12:08 PM

Yep, it is.

One other thing, the "terrible 2s" are no where as bad as the "terrible 3s". Which in turn are not so bad compared to the "terrible 4s". Again, the 4s are just a walk in the park when you get to the "terrible 5s" (that's where I'm at now). At this rate, I'm not looking forward to the "terrible teens". The good news is that I'm told that my 5 year-old child is a little angel. For those of you who have bad ones, I feel for you... I really do.

[ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Ryanamur ]

Scholarcs · 01-23-2002, 04:37 PM

I'm a "terrible teen" apparently, and I'm not that terrible.

Garnet FalconDance · 01-23-2002, 06:36 PM

It IS true--and it only gets worse as they approach the teen years. Then they think they're the answer to all the world's questons as well as being totally bulletproof. And when they hit full-fledged puberty (as in not-so-miniature-anymore masses of scheming hormones) watch out!

I only pray to live long enough to see their children put them through the very same...........

Scholarcs · 01-23-2002, 11:15 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance:
I only pray to live long enough to see their children put them through the very same...........

Thats exactly what my mother says to me!

John D Harris · 01-23-2002, 11:30 PM

That's what Grand childern are for, I shall be avenged!

01-23-2002, 12:08 PM	#4
Ryanamur Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: March 29, 2001 Location: Montréal, Canada Age: 49 Posts: 1,763	Yep, it is. One other thing, the "terrible 2s" are no where as bad as the "terrible 3s". Which in turn are not so bad compared to the "terrible 4s". Again, the 4s are just a walk in the park when you get to the "terrible 5s" (that's where I'm at now). At this rate, I'm not looking forward to the "terrible teens". The good news is that I'm told that my 5 year-old child is a little angel. For those of you who have bad ones, I feel for you... I really do. [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Ryanamur ] __________________ An idiot will only play Russian roulette with an automatic pistol! Thank God they only do it once! <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Smile]\" src=\"smile.gif\" />

01-23-2002, 04:37 PM	#5
Scholarcs Red Dragon Join Date: December 5, 2001 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Age: 38 Posts: 1,557	I'm a "terrible teen" apparently, and I'm not that terrible. __________________ <br />\"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five\" - Groucho Marx<br />Member of the ORT Clan. <br />\"Some birds are not meant to be caged because their feathers are too bright\"<br />Ma bouche sera la bouche des malheurs qui n\'ont point de bouche, ma voix, la liberté de celles qui s\'affaissent au cachot du désespoir. - Aimé Césaire<br />La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l\'on n\'a pas ri. - Sébastien Roch Nicolas

01-23-2002, 06:36 PM	#6
Garnet FalconDance Mephistopheles Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: deep within the sylvan splendor.... Age: 60 Posts: 1,443	It IS true--and it only gets worse as they approach the teen years. Then they think they're the answer to all the world's questons as well as being totally bulletproof. And when they hit full-fledged puberty (as in not-so-miniature-anymore masses of scheming hormones) watch out! I only pray to live long enough to see their children put them through the very same........... __________________ "Nature tells every secret once." Ralph Waldo Emerson

01-23-2002, 11:15 PM	#7
Scholarcs Red Dragon Join Date: December 5, 2001 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Age: 38 Posts: 1,557	quote: Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance: I only pray to live long enough to see their children put them through the very same........... Thats exactly what my mother says to me! __________________ <br />\"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five\" - Groucho Marx<br />Member of the ORT Clan. <br />\"Some birds are not meant to be caged because their feathers are too bright\"<br />Ma bouche sera la bouche des malheurs qui n\'ont point de bouche, ma voix, la liberté de celles qui s\'affaissent au cachot du désespoir. - Aimé Césaire<br />La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l\'on n\'a pas ri. - Sébastien Roch Nicolas

01-23-2002, 11:30 PM	#8
John D Harris Ninja Storm Shadow Join Date: March 27, 2001 Location: Northport,Alabama, USA Age: 62 Posts: 3,577	That's what Grand childern are for, I shall be avenged! __________________ Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working. Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864 66:KIA 5008 67:KIA 9378 68:KIA 14594 69:KIA 9414 70:KIA 4221 71:KIA 1380 72:KIA 300 Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585 2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting Davros 1 Much abliged Massachusetts

01-23-2002, 10:23 AM	#1
Gray Mage Banned User Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: New Jersey Posts: 999	Can any one relate to this?? To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchrildren, nieces and nephews, or students, here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said was, "Don't". "Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said. "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve, we have forbidden fruit!" "No Way!" "Yes, way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why?" "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants). A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and was he ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent asked. "Uh, huh," Adam replied. "Then why did you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said. "Did not!" "Did too!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed! But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? Advice for the Day. If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin, and "Keep away from children." A FEW ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS! --- CHILDREN: You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home!!!!

01-23-2002, 11:00 AM	#2
Sir ReGiN Gold Dragon Join Date: August 11, 2001 Location: The land of blonde virgins Age: 42 Posts: 2,563	Oh god, that's so true I don't have children of my own, but I appreciate it [img]smile.gif[/img]

01-23-2002, 11:59 AM	#3
MagiK Guest Posts: n/a	I HAVE children and It IS true!

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