Brand-Names used for computer terms (FUNNY)

[Sazerac]

This is from ByteBack News: Brand names, like SPAM, that can be used for computer terms. Lot of clever suggestions here!

Enjoy! See if you can come up with some on your own.


___________________________________

Kenmore - A generic, no frills computer.

Slurpee - That noise you make when you realize you deleted a really important file.

Visine - Novell to NT Migration Tool. Gets the red out!

Roach Motel - Any PC with a Microsoft OS...it's full of bugs.

Play-Doh - Money invested in online stocks and dot-com companies.

Tonka - Repeated noise most hard drives make before crashing for good.

Gravy Train - The practice of front-loading the budget to accommodate training sessions held in exotic locales, or the promise of same. As in, "We don't offer bonuses or stock options, but you can expect at least one Gravy Train junket every six months."

Antilock Brakes - What Microsoft doesn't include in its OSes.

Taco Bell - Telecom company 'South of the Border'.

Roto-Rooter - The co-worker that goes through your desk looking for change after normal working hours.

Apple Jacks - Pills given by Steve Jobs to keep the Mac OS programmers awake in the 80s.

Pop Tarts - Those annoying popup girlie websites.

Kleenex - the latest anti-virus software.

[Charean]

THESE ARE GREAT!!! Love this! Thank you for the giggle!

------------------

Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
In God we trust, all others pay cash...
Maybe you could consider me a fruitcake, but then it takes one to know one...

By the way, if you are still reading this, you obviously are looking in the wrong place for something entertaining, for I am dull and insipid and have very little to say of redeeming value... LOL

[SSJ4Sephiroth]

heheh, very nice saz. got anymore, perchance?

------------------
I'll kidnap ya fer 100, reprogram ya fer 300, and kill ya fer 500! Oh come one! I'll throw in the killin' fer 250!

[kiwidoc]

Macdonalds - Generic term for programs that take up a load of space but don't actually acheive anything leaving you unsatisfied and hungry for more.

Ketchup bottle - term for a PC that you have to thump before you get anything out of it!

McCleans (toothpaste) - any monitor with the brightness set way too high.

Lap Dancer - portable PC whose default internet page is a porn site.

Blow torch - 16x16x32 burner

Yale company directors - generic term for keyboards

Viagra - device still under development to convert your floppy discs into hard discs

------------------
There is only one kiwidoc, accept no substitutes

STANDARD OPERATING PROCEEDURE
www.judyhope.co.uk



[This message has been edited by kiwidoc (edited 06-14-2001).]

[Staralfur]

Not computer related but funny anyway;


20 Words That Should Exist (by Rich Hall)


ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid)
adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus)
adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um)
n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear).

BURGACIDE (burg' uh side)
n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

BUZZACKS (buz' aks)
n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.

CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)
n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DIMP (dimp)
n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt')
v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs.

ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma)
n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)
n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks)
n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. (or on an airplane!)

ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun)
n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

FRUST (frust)
n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun)
n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.

NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see)
n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay')
n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik)
adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.
The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup' kus)
n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun)
n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

[andora20]

/Laughing-so-hard-I-missed-lunchtime/
THese were funny,I had loads of pieces like this, but then our system admin decided to do something when on night shift and deleted all contents in everyones personal folders. Haarrumph

------------------
Carpe Diem, Carpe Jugulem

[Psychedelic Buttafly]

rolling on the floor laughing my head off so hard I just knocked myself out!!!!
ROTFLMHOSHIJKMO!!!!!!!


------------------

[Neb]

These cleared up the bad mood I was in after getting a C in one of my exams. And the means a lot.

It made me go from this:

To this:

Lucky I wasn't drinking anything or this:
Would have happened