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Old 12-17-2002, 04:53 PM   #1
johnny
40th Level Warrior
 
Ms Pacman Champion
Join Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Utrecht The Netherlands
Age: 58
Posts: 16,981
Santa Resigns

T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little
jerks I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.

I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money -
The reindeer all fight
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS

And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money

And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of yoyo's - No request for them
They want computers and robots...
they think I'm IBM
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment

There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season
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Old 12-17-2002, 04:57 PM   #2
Arvon
Unicorn
 

Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
Pretty good...but I'm not sure how long it'll be here.
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Old 12-17-2002, 05:02 PM   #3
Arvon
Unicorn
 

Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
I've found some funny sound files...but I don't think Ziroc will allow me to even give the links here.

[ 12-17-2002, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: Arvon ]
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Old 12-17-2002, 05:04 PM   #4
johnny
40th Level Warrior
 
Ms Pacman Champion
Join Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Utrecht The Netherlands
Age: 58
Posts: 16,981
Quote:
Originally posted by Arvon:
I've found some funny sound files...but I don't think Ziroc will allow me to even give the links here.
You mean little Johnny's letter to Santa ? That sure was funny, but it's a little too harsh to post here.
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Old 12-17-2002, 06:59 PM   #5
Lord Starshadow
Quintesson
 

Join Date: October 3, 2002
Location: The plane of non-existence... and Michigan
Age: 43
Posts: 1,087
Another good Santa one: Weird Al's "The Night Santa Went Crazy." That is pretty funny.
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Old 12-17-2002, 07:06 PM   #6
SomeGuy
Unicorn
 

Join Date: May 14, 2002
Location: Oklahoma, USA
Age: 33
Posts: 4,238
Quote:
Originally posted by Lord Starshadow:
Another good Santa one: Weird Al's "The Night Santa Went Crazy." That is pretty funny.
Or Christmas at Ground Zero? LOL
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Old 12-17-2002, 08:39 PM   #7
Mack_Attack
Osiris - Egyptian God of the Underworld
 

Join Date: May 22, 2001
Location: Sherwoodpark,Alberta,Canada
Age: 51
Posts: 2,929
Quote:
Originally posted by johnny:
quote:
Originally posted by Arvon:
I've found some funny sound files...but I don't think Ziroc will allow me to even give the links here.
You mean little Johnny's letter to Santa ? That sure was funny, but it's a little too harsh to post here.[/QUOTE]I was thinking the same thing as I was reading this. Johnny's letter would be a little much.

This one is even a little riskie. But still funny.
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Old 12-17-2002, 08:49 PM   #8
antryg
Fzoul Chembryl
 

Join Date: August 30, 2002
Location: Dallas, Tx.
Age: 21
Posts: 1,765
I thought it was pretty funny. I didn't think it risque enough to warrant a warning or a "vanishing act". Yet what do I know about the PC?
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Old 12-17-2002, 10:33 PM   #9
Luvian
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: June 27, 2001
Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Age: 43
Posts: 6,763
What sound files? Can someone PM me the link?
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