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Old 12-19-2003, 07:51 AM   #1
uss
20th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: November 16, 2001
Location: Estonia
Age: 35
Posts: 2,775
I got this from a site that has very rough jokes, which have content inappropriate for IWF, but I took the one which I thought is the funniest, and gets just as dirty as you take it. Here it goes:


Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
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Old 12-19-2003, 08:51 AM   #2
Ghoul
The Magister
 

Join Date: November 13, 2003
Location: Austria
Age: 43
Posts: 143
I didn't know the meaning of 'wang' before I read this post but now I think I got it.
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Old 12-19-2003, 10:03 AM   #3
Bungleau
40th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
It's a computer, right?
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Old 12-19-2003, 11:43 AM   #4
Link
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: May 15, 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 39
Posts: 5,888
Good one uss That was really funny.. I didn't know what 'wang' was either, but now I do as well [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]
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Old 12-19-2003, 10:02 PM   #5
Dron_Cah
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 
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Join Date: March 2, 2003
Location: Kentucky
Age: 37
Posts: 2,637
Just one question: You guys didn't know what "wang" was? That's really funny. Either A.) you lead very sheltered lives or B.) it's just an American thing. Dunno.
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Old 12-19-2003, 10:16 PM   #6
SomeGuy
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Join Date: May 14, 2002
Location: Oklahoma, USA
Age: 33
Posts: 4,238
lol! That's funny stuff, must show my harry potter fan friends [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 12-20-2003, 01:13 AM   #7
Kakero
40th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
I still don't get it. what is wang?
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Old 12-20-2003, 02:18 AM   #8
uss
20th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: November 16, 2001
Location: Estonia
Age: 35
Posts: 2,775
Ah, I didn't expect so many people to not know what 'wang' is. I guess it is some sort of American expression, which I've heard somewhere.

Kakero, let me quote a line: "Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang"
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Old 12-20-2003, 11:49 AM   #9
Dron_Cah
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 
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Moon Lander Champion Space Invaders Champion
Join Date: March 2, 2003
Location: Kentucky
Age: 37
Posts: 2,637
(Still standing in astonishment, mouth agape) You must be joking!! Does no one know what "wang" is!! (Walks off sadly, shaking his little American head.)
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Old 12-20-2003, 12:59 PM   #10
Assassin
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: March 23, 2003
Location: Canada
Age: 36
Posts: 1,134
That was great. [img]smile.gif[/img] For those of you who don't know what a wang is... let's just say that it's something that males have...
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