100 reasons why its good to be a guy

[Ladyzekke]

MMMMM. Well I guess I'm gonna answer this from my personal perspective, cause I don't jibe with a lot of these lines, and I'm a female and all. BTW, this is all in good humor and fun, please do not misconstrue any of my answers in a negative way, as they are not meant to be LOL. Just sayin it like it is for me, and having quite a fun time of it at the same time I must say!

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. OK, yes, We are Spammers, like you're not!!
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. Unfair it is
3. You know stuff about tanks. Good deal if you can ever actually get your hands on one
4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. We females like to be prepared is all
5. Monday Night Football. So many sports involve "ball". odd..
6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. Sorry, but I could care less about other's sex lives myself
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. bathroom lines?
8. You can open all your own jars. I am killer at opening jars, hand me one, I'll show ya
9. Old friends don't give a care whether you've lost or gained weight. I'm the same weight as I was 15 years ago
10. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. Well, yeah, you got me on that one
11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every
shot of somebody crying. I hate movies where people are crying
12. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews. Dunno bout you, but I don't show me butt to anyone thanky
13. All your orgasms are real. What? Mine aren't? Coulda fooled me
14. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex. HAHAHA! Whatever you say!...
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into
the boards). Don't see many hockey mask killer round my parts...
16. You don't have to lug a bag of important stuff around everywhere
you go. Err, my purse only weighs, err, 10 pounds, maybe less...errr
17. You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny. Hey, I liked Stripes, if I missed any "nut" jokes, I'm not sufferin for it
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. If you knew the things we said about yall in that bathroom
19. Your last name stays put. Errr, goodie..!
20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade. What are you talking about? I don't make the freakin bed in hotels, I pay good money for other people to do that!
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone
secretly hates you. No worries. I don't hate you. Or do I?....
22. You can kill your own food. Its the year 2001, who still needs to kill their own food?
23. The garage is all yours. HAHA! Think again dude!
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Yes, rarity is always recognized
25. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment". err, kay
26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow. True, nobody looks at the size of my hands or feet
27. You never have to clean a toilet. Oh really? Not on my end. You can't aim, you clean it yourself
28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. So can I if I have to
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. Yall have a reputation, just don't know it, cause we keep it a "bathroom" secret
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves. So what? You don't plan to buy a ring, get a best man, get a tux, plan the honeymoon? Nothing? Hey, good luck with that fella HAHA
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still
be your friend. Sorry, I don't take offenses in that way, there is always another time..
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. Err... Thumbs up to Walmart? Err..
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship. Cheerleaders are girls you know
34. You don't have to shave below your neck. Personaly I wouldn't want to have to shave my face
35. None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry. Neither do mine
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. Err, neither do I
37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices. Think again
38. You can write your name in the snow. Yes a talent to be proud of LOL
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. I'd hate to think I ever got that bored
40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color. So I guess I'll just ignore those zits then
41. Chocolate is just another snack. err, yah, me too
42. You can be president (in this lifetime). Thinking of running?
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. Good idea, let the women take the wheel
44. Flowers fix everything. Hate to repeat myself, but.. Think Again
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. So that is why you are alone is it?
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. Yeah you're right, women don't think of that type of thing. Noo. HA!
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Yes and you can even take the shirt off, you lucky bastaids
48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough. Yeah, but c'mon, look at them..
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. Yes I find myself wanting to eat a banana frequently whilst shopping for nails and such..
50. You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about
what people will think. Except for the 80-year old couple trying to have a nice "dinner"
51. Foreplay is optional. Yeah..?
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. Dear God nor mine!!!
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. Shoot, what are you talking about, they save em up to tell me LOL
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. Err, covered that above
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by. Who cares what they think?
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. Like anybody listens to me anyway
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth. Again, lucky bastaids
58. You don't give a care if anyone notices your new haircut. Yes, I know, you cut it yourself in the mirror didn't you?
59. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking "He must be mad at me". Again the mad at me thing..
60. The world is your urinal. Oh lovely, mankind at its finest
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about
to leave you. Yeah but she's cheating on you, you know it don't ya? j/k.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff. Yes "slapping" is very masculine, err..
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. Nor mine
64. One mood, all the time! Yeah right
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look
like him. Yes we are all anorexics, the lot of us, Err..
66. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's
just too scuzzy. A gas station is a gas station to me, don't look at the "clientele"
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. Ah, the ass crack trick.. Niiice..
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing. Always love to show off the "goods" at any opportunity, I know
69. Same work...more pay! I make pretty good money, more than my husband, sooo...
70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. Again,lucky bastaid
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. Err, never made a crotch adjustment myself..
72. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75 Unfair, no doubt
73. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back. Really? Cause I know someone who really rags on you... j/k
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries, at least in theory. Oh please, we need more people on this Earth, it is so empty. (sarcasm at the max)
75. You don't mooch off others desserts. Neither do I, I rarely eat sweets
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. Yeah but I don't retain "beer"
77. The remote control is yours and yours alone. HAHAHAAHA! Not in my world. I have my own TV, my own cable, my own remote, I am master of my domain!!
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. sorry bout that dude
79. ESPN's Sports Center. Err. Again the sports. Ever watch the Strong Man Competitions?
80. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. I don't bring no stinkin gifts!
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers. Depends...
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. Everyone is different, that is not a Male/Female issue
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. Depends on the Shopkeeper!
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. Err, I have no problems saying I have to take a p*$$
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell
your other friend you've changed. Can't say what others will do in any given situation
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. What a Goal to Strive For
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it." I use the same term, but the one with the "f" letter instead
88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong buddies. That would not bother me, my dress does not "make" me so to speak
89. Princess Di's death was just another obituary. I felt extremely sad about it myself
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. Expected maybe, but not particularly enjoyed LOL
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the
mood. Yes but what about the "I" word eh?
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. And I think punting people who punt small dogs is funny
93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer
or throw it across the room. Oh yes, that helps..
94. New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet. Again, lucky bastaid
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. Err.. Kay...
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. No one "has" to, but you should..
97. Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them. That works both ways sometimes
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice
anything different?" Yeah that stain on your shirt does not need mentioning LOL
99. Baywatch. Dream on fellas..
100.There's always a game on somewhere. Yeah, for men and women, yes the TV doesn't discriminate

------------------


[This message has been edited by ladyzekke (edited 05-14-2001).]

[This message has been edited by ladyzekke (edited 05-14-2001).]

[This message has been edited by ladyzekke (edited 05-14-2001).]

[This message has been edited by ladyzekke (edited 05-14-2001).]

[sylent]

Sheesh...
it looks likes us blokes have been told.
Looks like a bit of work for you zekke.
I just want to make it clear that I am not meaning to offend anyone here, sorry if I have already managed to do that...

- Dilemna: Girl Meets Boy. Boy likes Girl, Girl likes Boy. See the problem?

[Ladyzekke]

Originally posted by sylent: Sheesh... it looks likes us blokes have been told. Looks like a bit of work for you zekke. I just want to make it clear that I am not meaning to offend anyone here, sorry if I have already managed to do that... - Dilemna: Girl Meets Boy. Boy likes Girl, Girl likes Boy. See the problem?

HAHA! No offense taken at all Sylent. I'm just having a bit of fun with you guys is all!

------------------

[slackerboy]

and by the way. you never know when info on tanks might come in handy we like to be prepared too!

------------------

Lord of the Screen Shot
Get My IronWorks Winamp skin

[Ladyzekke]

Originally posted by slackerboy: and by the way. you never know when info on tanks might come in handy we like to be prepared too!

Yes, you are right SlackerB. Mmmm. Gonna make a wittle change.

------------------

[slackerboy]

and on number 30: nope, if that takes planning you got problems , nope... just show up and pay the folks (she sets it up, we dont really get to pick them out since we have no taste), we've had that planned since we hit puberty

------------------

Lord of the Screen Shot
Get My IronWorks Winamp skin

[slackerboy]

33. The National College Cheerleading Championship. Cheerleaders are girls you know

yep!!


------------------

Lord of the Screen Shot
Get My IronWorks Winamp skin

[slackerboy]

after reading your responses lady zekke, i'm gonna have to say Welcome to the club!! you sound like one of the guys j/k

------------------

Lord of the Screen Shot
Get My IronWorks Winamp skin

[Sazerac]

And along the lines of LadyZekke, I'd like to analyze it from a "male" viewpoint as well.

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Really...someone forgot to tell me!
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. And boring!
3. You know stuff about tanks. No I don't! Turn me loose on a computer, though...
4. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. Two...Okay, I'll grant you that one.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives. Neither do most females I know.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. Very unfair! Why don't they put in 4 female bathrooms to 1 male? Who designs public places?
8. You can open all your own jars. So can most females I know.
9. Old friends don't give a care whether you've lost or gained weight. Okay, I agree here.
10. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.They would if I let them!
11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every
shot of somebody crying. If females do this, I don't know them!
12. Your butt is never a factor in job interviews. Is this for real?
13. All your orgasms are real. Pity some women are made to feel that they have to fake them.
14. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex. Sad but true, for the most part. But I rarely see women with beer guts.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you (unless you smash 'em into
the boards). Again, a VERY sad commentary!
16. You don't have to lug a bag of important stuff around everywhere
you go. It would be convenient, though.
17. You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny. So does my wife...she enjoys it more than I do.
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. Not as much fun, though.
19. Your last name stays put. And whose fault is that?
20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade. So can my wife.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone
secretly hates you. Hmmmm...I think we've all felt a little paranoid every now and then!
22. You can kill your own food. Yes, but why?
23. The garage is all yours. Yes...the only place in the house that's unairconditioned in the summer and unheated in the winter. Yep, sign me up!
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. ??????
25. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment". Lost me here...never saw it. (I'm not big on movies).
26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow. Yeecchhh! Do people actually WONDER that about others in secret??
27. You never have to clean a toilet. And no one ever visits.
28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. 15-20 for me.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. Again, whose fault is that?
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Agreed fully.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still
be your friend. Anyone who wouldn't be over such a thing is no friend in the first place.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. And lasts about two months.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship. Puh-LEEZE!
34. You don't have to shave below your neck. Some of us don't shave above our necks!
35. None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry. No one should.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night. So have sympathy on those who do...although I've heard some ladies say that that's actually a turn-on. To each their own.
37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices. Don't kid yourself!
38. You can write your name in the snow. That's the sort of accomplishmen I want printed in my curriculum vitae.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. Ditto to #38
40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color. Yep...freckled and blotchy.
41. Chocolate is just another snack. Not for all of us!
42. You can be president (in this lifetime). Too true...although you never know.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. ????
44. Flowers fix everything. Again, don't kid yourself...something must be behind them.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. And you never have to worry about other people being around you, either.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. And you don't think ladies don't?
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Okay, I'm snickering on this one!
48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough. Agreed.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. Sad but true. You can also bend over in a hardware story without worrying.
50. You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about
what people will think. Ignorance is bliss, so they say.
51. Foreplay is optional. Only for one-night stands. Don't expect anything longterm.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. Agreed! Neither my wife's, nor her mother's, nor mine.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room. Agreed.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. Agreed.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by. No female I know does either.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. And females do?
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth. VERY sad commentary...but true...most of the time.
58. You don't give a care if anyone notices your new haircut. Then why get one?
59. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking "He must be mad at me". Neither would anyone with any modicum of self-esteem
60. The world is your urinal. Repugnant.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about
to leave you. Only insecure, neurotic people would.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff. ?????
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. I hope not on most females, either! Although the fact that such a torture device such as Epilady existed....
64. One mood, all the time! Oh, really?
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look
like him. It's a media problem.
66. You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's
just too scuzzy. Okay, that got me laughing, too!
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. Without losing the beer on each one?
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing. And look like a buffoon, too!
69. Same work...more pay! Once again...whose fault is that?
70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. I think so on women as well, but that may be me...
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. As long as you're not trying to impress the lady...
72. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75 Agreed!
73. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back. Oh, really?
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's
population in 15 tries, at least in theory. Ever wonder why we had to have so many in the first place?
75. You don't mooch off others desserts. Nor do any women I know.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. Maybe.
77. The remote control is yours and yours alone. Right...until my wife is ready to watch a movie!
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. Sad but true.
79. ESPN's Sports Center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. Riiiiight.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers. Can't say I care for either.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. Again, so do all the women I know.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. No comment.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. Hmmmm...
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell
your other friend you've changed. Many women don't either.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. What a thing to look forward to!
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it." My wife just goes for f*** it!
88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong buddies. LOL!
89. Princess Di's death was just another obituary. For some.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. Really?
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the
mood. True...I haven't had any problems in that arena.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. I don't. I think it's disgusting.
93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer
or throw it across the room. You obviously have never tried to teach A+ Computer Repair before! EVERYONE wants to kill a computer at some point in time!
94. New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet. Try wearing cowboy boots.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. Not mine!
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. Correct!
97. Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them. No, but I still wouldn't do it...not unless I loved them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice
anything different?" Agreed.
99. Baywatch. Neverwatch.
100.There's always a game on somewhere. Umm..BG2 or Wizards & Warriors?

Seriously...I hope I never encounter any female who evidences more than 20 of these...or any male who is defined by them, either!!

Either I'm blessed, fortunate, or live an extremely sheltered life. Being that I teach in a public institution, I doubt it's the last one.



[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 05-15-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 05-15-2001).]

[sylent]

I can pretty much agree with you there Saverac, on most counts.
Although some of those things in the list do not apply to me, they do apply to the steriotypical "Bloke". Therefore, I found them quite amusing.
Perhaps some intuitive female might like to write down 20 things that makes being a female better than being male.
Moni has come up with number 1, which is - "you don't have to be a male" Got anymore ideas?

- Is the printer working yet Max?