3 nightmares... absouloutly funny !!! read this!!!

Harkoliar · 07-23-2002, 09:21 AM

>NIGHTMARE #1
>
>After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled
>out a
>cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find
>it, he
>asked the girl if she had one at hand.
>
>"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
>
>He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches
>sitting
>neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy
>began to
>worry.
>
>"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
>
>"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
>
>"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
>
>"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
>
>"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
>
>Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
>
>
>NIGHTMARE #2
>
>The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
>think of a
>way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his wife
>asleep in
>bed. He thought to himself, "What should I do? Oh, I know." He
>proceeded to get
>under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently
>squirm and
>moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as
>she
>climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush
>his teeth.
>When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving
>her legs.
>
>He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?"
>
>She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother."
>
>
>NIGHTMARE #3
>
>One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss
>each other
>goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny.
>With an air
>of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he
>says to
>her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?"
>
>Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
>
>"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her.
>
>"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
>
>"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
>
>"No way. It's just too risky!"
>
>"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
>
>"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
>
>"Oh yes you can. Please?"
>
>"No, no. I just can't"
>
>"I'm begging you..."
>
>Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister
>shows up
>in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad
>says to go
>ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says
>she can
>come down herself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his
>hand off
>the intercom!"

johnny · 07-23-2002, 09:29 AM

I knew that last one, but still they're hilarious !

Sir ReGiN · 07-23-2002, 09:29 AM

[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img] :BWAAHAHAHAHA!!!

Those were BRILLIANT!!

[img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[ 07-23-2002, 09:30 AM: Message edited by: Sir ReGiN ]

07-23-2002, 09:45 AM

The best jokes are the dirtiest jokes... Well done!

Megabot · 07-23-2002, 09:51 AM

That was cool lol i like the first one best poor guy haha

[ 07-23-2002, 10:11 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

Sir Exxon · 07-23-2002, 10:01 AM

LOL! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Cracked real up of the third one.

Sir Goulum · 07-23-2002, 12:33 PM

Rofl! I loved the third one! And the 2nd one (ick) [img]graemlins/1puke.gif[/img]

dizzy · 07-23-2002, 01:19 PM

ehehehehe ahahahaha good stuff@!!!

Beaumanoir · 07-23-2002, 03:30 PM

Ewww, 2nd Was Icky... 3rd Was Hilarious!!

Harkoliar · 07-24-2002, 09:18 AM

just bumpin once b4 letting this fall... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

07-23-2002, 01:19 PM	#8
dizzy Mephistopheles Join Date: January 18, 2002 Location: Baumholder Germany Age: 39 Posts: 1,434	ehehehehe ahahahaha good stuff@!!! __________________ An Army of fun. <br /><br />\"The worst thing about being in Germany in the Army is having to wakeup everyday\" <img border=\"0\" title=\"\" alt=\"[Wink]\" src=\"wink.gif\" />

07-23-2002, 03:30 PM	#9
Beaumanoir Iron Throne Cult Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: There is no IRL, Only AFK. Age: 35 Posts: 4,896	Ewww, 2nd Was Icky... 3rd Was Hilarious!! __________________ My pokemon bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like; you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my Charizard.

07-24-2002, 09:18 AM	#10
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 41 Posts: 5,556	just bumpin once b4 letting this fall... [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ Catch me if you can..

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07-23-2002, 09:21 AM	#1
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 41 Posts: 5,556	>NIGHTMARE #1 > >After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled >out a >cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find >it, he >asked the girl if she had one at hand. > >"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. > >He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches >sitting >neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy >began to >worry. > >"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. > >"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. > >"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. > >"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. > >"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. > >Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation." > > >NIGHTMARE #2 > >The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to >think of a >way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his wife >asleep in >bed. He thought to himself, "What should I do? Oh, I know." He >proceeded to get >under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently >squirm and >moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as >she >climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush >his teeth. >When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving >her legs. > >He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" > >She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother." > > >NIGHTMARE #3 > >One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss >each other >goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. >With an air >of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he >says to >her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" > >Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" > >"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. > >"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" > >"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" > >"No way. It's just too risky!" > >"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" > >"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" > >"Oh yes you can. Please?" > >"No, no. I just can't" > >"I'm begging you..." > >Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister >shows up >in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad >says to go >ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says >she can >come down herself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his >hand off >the intercom!" __________________ Catch me if you can..

07-23-2002, 09:29 AM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	I knew that last one, but still they're hilarious ! __________________

07-23-2002, 09:29 AM	#3
Sir ReGiN Gold Dragon Join Date: August 11, 2001 Location: The land of blonde virgins Age: 42 Posts: 2,563	[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img] :BWAAHAHAHAHA!!! Those were BRILLIANT!! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] [ 07-23-2002, 09:30 AM: Message edited by: Sir ReGiN ]

07-23-2002, 09:45 AM	#4
Deathbringer Guest Posts: n/a	The best jokes are the dirtiest jokes... Well done!

07-23-2002, 09:51 AM	#5
Megabot Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: October 18, 2003 Location: Oslo, Norway. Age: 61 Posts: 3,360	That was cool lol i like the first one best poor guy haha [ 07-23-2002, 10:11 AM: Message edited by: Megabot ]

07-23-2002, 10:01 AM	#6
Sir Exxon Zartan Join Date: October 15, 2001 Location: Oslo, Norway Age: 35 Posts: 5,367	LOL! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Cracked real up of the third one.

07-23-2002, 12:33 PM	#7
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 8,985	Rofl! I loved the third one! And the 2nd one (ick) [img]graemlins/1puke.gif[/img]

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