Your Horoscope for Today...

[Charean]

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will walk into a door frame today, and people will smirk. Remember though, they're smirking with you, not at you.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You may have to share a hotel room with a business colleague, to save travel expenses. Here's a tip to keep them from talking all night: bring along a teddy bear, and punch it really hard in the head a few times at bedtime, screaming "Shut up, Mr. Teddy! Shut up!".

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will begin a spiritual journey. The karmic chaos which has surrounded you begins to settle into a new pattern. Also, you will become strangely fascinated by electric juicers.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will order the dinner "special" at a restaurant. You will regret this, however. Why? Okra.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will irritate people. In fact, you'll irritate yourself.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will go on a boat ride, and a deranged bunny will swim towards you in a threatening manner. Unfortunately, this episode will be caught on videotape by a tourist, and your dreams of a political career will be forever dashed.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will need two torches, a sword, leather armor, and a significant amount of courage today. And for heaven's sake, don't forget the twine.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
In a stroke of pure marketing genious, you will start a company to sell fresh-roasted peanut butter door-to-door. Your sales people may find the peanut costumes a bit uncomfortable, at first, however.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Having trouble sticking to that diet, aren't you? It's even harder when you see all those enticing commercials for fast food on TV. The trick to dealing with those is to use your imagination - mayonaisse becomes shaving cream, a burger becomes coompressed compost, and everything else is coated with synthetic motor oil. Which, these days, is pretty close to the truth.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will build a better mousetrap, but nobody will beat a path to your door. Several people will beat a path to your refrigerator, though, and will make sandwiches.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You are being followed by a man with an eye patch and a prosthetic limb. He, in turn, is being followed by a large reptile, which is making a ticking sound.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Things aren't going as well as they should for you. The main thing to do is to find someone else to blame, and move on.


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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
You are what your deep driving desire is; As your deep driving desire is, so is your will; As your will is so is your deed; As your deed is so is your destiny.
The Upanishads

[Fljotsdale]

Where the devil do you dig 'em up from Charean? Just loved the Taurus one, lol! Good thing I'm 1) not Taurean 2) a believer!

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[Charean]

Would you believe these are all memorized? No?

How about I have a terrific archive? No?

Okay... I am a damn good researcher. I can find positively ANYTHING! (Now I suppose someone is going to make me back up that claim... oh, someone already did! )

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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
You are what your deep driving desire is; As your deep driving desire is, so is your will; As your will is so is your deed; As your deed is so is your destiny.
The Upanishads

[jabidas]

Im laughing so hard im going to bust a lung right about.....now. Nice readings.

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[DawnChaser]

Ok, in keeping with my horoscope, I am gonna blame Jabidas, and move on.

"That's right... a fish."

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[Wah]

What the.......?! Someone has been WHAT at me?

ROTFLMAO!

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[Fljotsdale]

Originally posted by DawnChaser: Ok, in keeping with my horoscope, I am gonna blame Jabidas, and move on. "That's right... a fish."

TWO fishes!.

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[AzureWolf]

Originally posted by Charean: Virgo (August 23 - September 22) You will go on a boat ride, and a deranged bunny will swim towards you in a threatening manner. Unfortunately, this episode will be caught on videotape by a tourist, and your dreams of a political career will be forever dashed.

I like bunnies

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"I was born of darkness. My fathers eyes closed before mine opened. I am not of this world or the other, and I have the right to be what I am..."

"I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this theres only one thing you should know....."

[Wulfere]

LOL
They do those on the Radio station I listen too at work.


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Originally posted by Charean: Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) You are being followed by a man with an eye patch and a prosthetic limb. He, in turn, is being followed by a large reptile, which is making a ticking sound.

Is that what all that thumping and ticking was going on while I was sleeping?!
Damn good to know! 'Cause I was about to get up and throw something!
He ain't here now though...hmph...cats prolly chased him off...yeah, I'd bet they did.


Moni



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