02-02-2004, 01:51 PM | #1 |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Real Signs
The following are real signs, observed around the globe. On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" Outside a maternity clothes shop: "We are open on Labor Day." On the trucks of a plumbing company in Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." At a tire repair shop: "Invite us to your next blowout." Pizza shop slogan: "Seven days without pizza makes one weak." At a tattoo parlor: "Tattoos done while you wait." In an office: "After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board." Outside a Las Vegas motel: "This motel highly recommended by owner." At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container." On a pet shop: "All birds going cheap." Sign in the middle of a field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges." In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager." Outside a furniture store in Virginia: "Antique tables made here daily." Seen during a conference: "For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor." On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Sisters of Mercy." On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "Thirty-eight years on the same spot." In a safari park: "Elephants please stay in your car." On the front of a Catholic elementary school: "Jesus is coming. No Bingo Sunday." In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday." In an office: "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken." In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed." In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy." On a repair shop door: "We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn't work.)" On a taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff. In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home." In a laundromat: "Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out." In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center." On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church." In a dry cleaner's window: "Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of." On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship." At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel." On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs." In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work." In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan." In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!" Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?" In a Maine restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends." On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak."
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02-02-2004, 02:47 PM | #2 |
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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Hehe yeah oldies but good ones. Haven't seen some of those for years, thanks for the reminder.
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Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
02-03-2004, 08:04 AM | #3 |
Symbol of Cyric
Join Date: March 28, 2003
Location: Australia
Age: 37
Posts: 1,124
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The smart ones that are actually well thought out are best, although the ones that say things they're not ment to are good too. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
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02-03-2004, 10:14 AM | #4 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: July 19, 2003
Location: an expat living in France
Age: 38
Posts: 5,577
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Good ones, already knew about half of them, the rest were new to me.
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02-03-2004, 10:36 AM | #5 |
Harper
Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,706
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"Jesus is coming. No Bingo Sunday."
He must be pissed... [img]smile.gif[/img] |
02-03-2004, 10:47 AM | #6 |
Apophis
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At a gynecologist's office: "Dr Jones, at your cervix!"
At a clothing store: "Ladies have fits upstairs." And to all of you who enjoy this type of thing, I recommend the site engrish.com and the book "Free Drinks For Ladies With Nuts"... Both are excellent, in my opinion. [ 02-03-2004, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: Illumina Drathiran'ar ]
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http://cavestory.org PLAY THIS GAME. Seriously. http://xkcd.com/386/ http://www.xkcd.com/406/ My heart is like my coffee. Black, bitter, icy, and with a straw. |
02-03-2004, 10:10 PM | #7 |
Lord Ao
Join Date: May 17, 2001
Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Age: 53
Posts: 2,069
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Lol...some of those are hilarious!
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[img]\"ubb/noncgi/smiles/new/ghoul.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br />\"The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work.<br />The lower class exists just to scare the middle class.\"<br />-George Carlin |
02-04-2004, 09:39 AM | #8 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: September 15, 2002
Location: Kennewick, WA
Age: 52
Posts: 3,166
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Great stuff Arvon! [img]graemlins/awesomework.gif[/img] My favorite:
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs." [ 02-04-2004, 09:40 AM: Message edited by: LordKathen ]
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02-04-2004, 09:53 AM | #9 |
Elminster
Join Date: April 23, 2002
Location: Helena, MT
Age: 40
Posts: 458
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"Parking for Drive-thru customers only."
"Road wet when raining." brilliant.
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[img]\"http://userpic.livejournal.com/10817323/260901\" alt=\" - \" /><br />\"My style? You could call it the art of fighting without really fighting.\"<br /><br />\"Something vexes thee?\" |
02-04-2004, 10:35 AM | #10 |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Saw this on an Icecream Dlivery truck yesterday. " Driver does not carry spoons"
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