More wisdom for life

[The Hierophant]

Originally posted by uss: An old man goes fishing with his dog. A fish suddenly jumps into the air and shouts "I'm flying!" The old man, being very surprised, looks at his dog. "Don't look at me, I didn't know fish can talk!" They closed all the doors that led out of the house but Taavi escaped through the door that led inside. Toomas went into a city far away, where the only hotel had a sign that said 'Black people only.' He took some black paint and completely covered himself in it. He got inside the bar and had fun all night. In the morning, he went under the shower to clean himself. He scrubbed hard but all in vain - the colour didn't come off. He was black.

OK, I'm experiencing a severe case of the wtf's right now

And Vask, ok, I'll take your word for it. I'm sure its very subtle and varied, with a pinch of well-aimed vulgarity for good measure, right?

[Vaskez]

Fine, fine, just enjoy your sarcasm [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Cloudbringer]

I like the hammer on the wall/hit the nail one. Kind of the Hungarian version of the 'forest for the trees'? [img]smile.gif[/img]

[uss]

Originally posted by Vaskez: Are you sure those are jokes uss? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Yeah, I am. I like absurd jokes the most


Actually, I forgot to mention that Estonians have loads of jokes that begin with "An Estonian, German, Finnish, American, French and Russian man" and continue with some activity, most popular of which is probably "meet in a bar" or "get into prison." All of the said nationalities aren't always included, but a minimum of 3 is, of which the Estonian and Russian are definitely included, and always the Estonian wins and the Russian loses. Obviously, these jokes are of chauvinistic content, so I won't bother to give any examples.

[Vaskez]

In Hungary, there are 3 main types of jokes that are popular: dumb cop jokes, gypsy jokes and specific character jokes by which I mean jokes that always have one particular stupid character doing stupid things. The gypsy jokes always involve some humourous jab at the fact that the hungarian gypsies don't like to work or keep clean. And this stereotype is true! Example:


The cop pays a visit to a gypsy household. He knocks on the door and one of the kids opens it.
- Hey there son, is your father in?
- Yeah, come in officer.
The cop goes in and finds the gypsy peeping through the bathroom keyhole at his wife who is taking a bath. The cop exclaims:
- Aren't you ashamed of yourself Gazsi!? You have 8 children, haven't you seen your wife naked enough times?
- Naked, sure, but I've never seen her taking a bath before.


Another one:

The gyspsy woman tells her son to go and get a bath since he hasn't had one for a year. The boy gets scrubbing then exclaims:
- Mum! Mum! I've washed last week's dirt off!
- That's great son, keep scrubbing.
- Mum, mum! I've washed last month's dirt off!
- Good, just keep scrubbing.
- Mum, mum! I found my red jumper!!



there's plenty more where that came from...any takers?

[Vaskez]

An American, a Frenchman and a lazy gypsy are talking about their wives.

The American says:
- When my Jenny goes horseriding her feet scrape the ground. Not because she has such a small horse
but because she has such sexy long legs.

The Frenchman replies:
- In the morning I put my hands around my darling's waist, pick her up, kiss her, put her
down and go to work. Not because I have such huge hands, but because she has such a sexy slim waist.

The gypsy says:
Before I go to work in the morning I smack Aranka's ass so it wobbles. When I get back from
work her ass is still wobbling. Not because she has such a fat ass but because I get back from work so quickly


One day, the gypsy boy comes back from school beaming. He says to his father:
- Hey dad, guess what, today at school we were learning to count and I could count to 10 but the others could only count to 5! Why is that dad?
- Because you are such a smart lad, son.
Next day, the boy again comes back beaming.
- Dad, guess what! Today we were learning the alphabet and I knew all the letters up to G but the others only knew A B and C. Why is that dad?
- Cos you really are a very smart lad, son.
The next day, the boy again comes home in a great mood.
- Hey dad! Today, we had P.E. and in the changing room I saw that my dick was 15cm but everyone else's was only 5! Why is that dad?
- Cos you are 15 years old son and the others are only 5.

(in case you don't get it (there's always one!) it's because the gypsy boy was lazy, didn't go to school and got held back every year etc.)

[Vaskez]

Bump for my amazing jokes