Dream Girl - humor

Timber Loftis · 02-05-2003, 01:12 PM

A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman quietly sitting on a bar stool all alone.

He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"

She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes, and says, "Just in case you might be interested, I'll screw anybody, any time, any where, any place it just doesn't matter to me."

The guy steps back, raises his eyebrows as his eyes widen, and says, "What law firm do you work for?"

RevRuby · 02-05-2003, 01:16 PM

so would you be the male counterpart, tl?

WillowIX · 02-05-2003, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Timber Loftis:
A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman quietly sitting on a bar stool all alone.

He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?"

She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes, and says, "Just in case you might be interested, I'll screw anybody, any time, any where, any place it just doesn't matter to me."

The guy steps back, raises his eyebrows as his eyes widen, and says, "What law firm do you work for?"

Is this a real life story TL? [img]tongue.gif[/img] LOL! Nice joke though. BTW, how´s your new job coming along? Have you started yet?

Timber Loftis · 02-05-2003, 02:21 PM

No, Willow, I start Monday. I tried to make today the last day of my current job, but my a**hole boss (there are 2 bosses, and they are like Two-Face) cajoled me into staying til Friday - foiling my attempts to gain 2 days off work. This amidst saying some very uncool things, BTW, not the least of which was "we were gonna fire you sooner or later anyway." And this from a 20+ yr. attorney. I felt like telling him "Well, nah nah nahna nah na, got you first."

Oh, well, as Homer Simpson said, when you hate your job don't quit - just do it poorly.

[img]graemlins/homer.gif[/img]

WillowIX · 02-05-2003, 02:34 PM

They actualy told you that to your face? And you didn´t knock him down? I don´t think my boss would dare to tell me that, since I´m an authorized scalpel wielder.

Are you longing for monday? More work and higher wage? Or same amount of work and higher wage? IIRC you told us about this in the cafe some time ago but my memory isn´t what it used to be.

Imagine what it will be like when I´m 30.

[ 02-05-2003, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: WillowIX ]

Charlie · 02-05-2003, 02:40 PM

Topic: Dream Girl

= Two feet tall, no teeth, long tongue and a flat head you can stand your beer on.

Timber Loftis · 02-05-2003, 02:46 PM

Now, Charlie, that's just rude. And Andrew Dice Clay is sooo old he could be Tony Soprano's father.

Yeah, Willow, he really said that. I did a lot of tounge-holding to keep from saying a LOT he needs to hear. I've talked with the other associates, relating the story, and they have informed me if I don't tell the other partner of the situation, they will.

It doesn't matter - he's a social moron who will never learn anyway. Certainly is one bridge I'm okay with burning, though.

Sir Krustin · 02-05-2003, 05:31 PM

Harhar! good one.

As to the boss, I've always found the sweetest revenge is to be polite and leave without making a fuss. It really makes them nervous!

AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe · 02-06-2003, 08:49 PM

Is there anyone out there that actually likes lawyers?

02-05-2003, 01:12 PM	#1
Timber Loftis 40th Level Warrior Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 11,916	A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman quietly sitting on a bar stool all alone. He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, how's it going tonight?" She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes, and says, "Just in case you might be interested, I'll screw anybody, any time, any where, any place it just doesn't matter to me." The guy steps back, raises his eyebrows as his eyes widen, and says, "What law firm do you work for?" __________________

02-05-2003, 01:16 PM	#2
RevRuby Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Limbo Age: 44 Posts: 1,720	so would you be the male counterpart, tl? __________________ peek-a-boo

02-05-2003, 02:21 PM	#4
Timber Loftis 40th Level Warrior Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 11,916	No, Willow, I start Monday. I tried to make today the last day of my current job, but my a**hole boss (there are 2 bosses, and they are like Two-Face) cajoled me into staying til Friday - foiling my attempts to gain 2 days off work. This amidst saying some very uncool things, BTW, not the least of which was "we were gonna fire you sooner or later anyway." And this from a 20+ yr. attorney. I felt like telling him "Well, nah nah nahna nah na, got you first." Oh, well, as Homer Simpson said, when you hate your job don't quit - just do it poorly. [img]graemlins/homer.gif[/img] __________________

02-05-2003, 02:34 PM	#5
WillowIX Apophis Join Date: July 10, 2001 Location: By a big blue lake, Canada Age: 50 Posts: 4,628	They actualy told you that to your face? And you didn´t knock him down? I don´t think my boss would dare to tell me that, since I´m an authorized scalpel wielder. Are you longing for monday? More work and higher wage? Or same amount of work and higher wage? IIRC you told us about this in the cafe some time ago but my memory isn´t what it used to be. Imagine what it will be like when I´m 30. [ 02-05-2003, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: WillowIX ] __________________ Confuzzled by nature.

02-05-2003, 02:40 PM	#6
Charlie Lord Ao Join Date: March 3, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 30 Posts: 2,021	Topic: Dream Girl = Two feet tall, no teeth, long tongue and a flat head you can stand your beer on. __________________ [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/england1.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br />One Love, Peace. [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/pissr.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/ladyzekke/piss.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

02-05-2003, 02:46 PM	#7
Timber Loftis 40th Level Warrior Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 11,916	Now, Charlie, that's just rude. And Andrew Dice Clay is sooo old he could be Tony Soprano's father. Yeah, Willow, he really said that. I did a lot of tounge-holding to keep from saying a LOT he needs to hear. I've talked with the other associates, relating the story, and they have informed me if I don't tell the other partner of the situation, they will. It doesn't matter - he's a social moron who will never learn anyway. Certainly is one bridge I'm okay with burning, though. __________________

02-05-2003, 05:31 PM	#8
Sir Krustin Symbol of Cyric Join Date: September 15, 2002 Location: Peterborough, ON, CANADA Age: 60 Posts: 1,394	Harhar! good one. As to the boss, I've always found the sweetest revenge is to be polite and leave without making a fuss. It really makes them nervous! __________________ If I say \"Eject!\" and you say \"Huh?\" - you\'ll be talking to yourself! - Maj. Bannister, <b>Steel Tiger</b>

02-06-2003, 08:49 PM	#9
AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe Hathor Join Date: October 11, 2001 Location: At My Computer Age: 43 Posts: 2,217	Is there anyone out there that actually likes lawyers? __________________ Now the swinging bridge<br />Is quieted with creepers. . . <br />Like our tendrilled life. -Basho

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