Should you smack your children?

Originally posted by Melusine: quote: Originally posted by Lord Shield: may as well leave the kid-beaters to it

Just so everybody knows - those are LS's words, not mine (just to be sure as some people have a tendency to merge all the opposing voices together). I think every parent should decide for him/herself what the best way of raising a
child is and I do not call anyone who raises their hand to their child a kid-beater - I'd have to call my own parents kid-beater in that case.[/QUOTE]thsoe wortds may have been strong but what I meant was leaving it to the parents that think pain is the answer, since they find reasons to disallow opposing viewpoints

Originally posted by Melusine: quote: Originally posted by Lord Shield: may as well leave the kid-beaters to it

Just so everybody knows - those are LS's words, not mine (just to be sure as some people have a tendency to merge all the opposing voices together). I think every parent should decide for him/herself what the best way of raising a
child is and I do not call anyone who raises their hand to their child a kid-beater - I'd have to call my own parents kid-beater in that case.[/QUOTE]You are right about people just merging disenting voices into one, it happens on both sides People also read things that were never said into posts as well.

Originally posted by MagiK: Mel obviously you missed me admiiting I was wrong in saying your opinion was useless [img]smile.gif[/img] Thats fine though, you are showing a really good example that I was completely right that you don't know what you are talking about if you think Azure "raising" his sister is the same as being a parent. but then you didnt read much of any of my posts and oonly read what you wanted...ahhh well, Im sure some day you will be the perfect mother.

And who the hell are YOU to judge that of others? Smacking kids might work for YOU because you cannot relate to them. That does NOT mean others have to do it. I know a number of couples that have not had to TOUCH their kids like that and the kids are fine

Originally posted by Lord Shield: quote: Originally posted by Melusine: quote: Originally posted by Lord Shield: may as well leave the kid-beaters to it

Just so everybody knows - those are LS's words, not mine (just to be sure as some people have a tendency to merge all the opposing voices together). I think every parent should decide for him/herself what the best way of raising a
child is and I do not call anyone who raises their hand to their child a kid-beater - I'd have to call my own parents kid-beater in that case.[/QUOTE]thsoe wortds may have been strong but what I meant was leaving it to the parents that think pain is the answer, since they find reasons to disallow opposing viewpoints[/QUOTE]All I have seen is for opposing viewpoints is people who havent had to have the responsibility of being a parent, saying what they would do in a situation. Im saying BS. to that, its like someone who is sitting comfy at home saying how they would react under fire..it is totally bull and should be disregarded as a person speaking from ignorance. Not all kids may need spanking....but I highly doubt it...I have not met many who were never spanked that behaves in what I consider to be a kind considerate and socially decent manner. I see daily the result of too little discipline in our kids.

Originally posted by Lord Shield: quote: Originally posted by MagiK: Mel obviously you missed me admiiting I was wrong in saying your opinion was useless [img]smile.gif[/img] Thats fine though, you are showing a really good example that I was completely right that you don't know what you are talking about if you think Azure "raising" his sister is the same as being a parent. but then you didnt read much of any of my posts and oonly read what you wanted...ahhh well, Im sure some day you will be the perfect mother.

And who the hell are YOU to judge that of others? Smacking kids might work for YOU because you cannot relate to them. That does NOT mean others have to do it. I know a number of couples that have not had to TOUCH their kids like that and the kids are fine[/QUOTE]Im the person who "the hell" started the thread [img]smile.gif[/img] thats who [img]smile.gif[/img] Im also a parent who sees too many kids run wild at "insert your favorite department store" Im the parent who sees children hitting their parents, who sees children taking drugs, who sees kids killing each other over sneakers Im a person who has raised two kids that so far are moral decent human beings living in a sea of wild animal children. Fortunately Im able to have them live most of the time in a nice quiet rural setting now, and they are very glad of it.

Im glad for your "friends" who have never touched their kids, I hope their kids continue to be fine decent humans...Ill believe it when I see it, and they will be the exception rather than the rule.

[ 05-16-2002, 02:23 PM: Message edited by: MagiK ]

[Melusine]

Originally posted by MagiK: Mel obviously you missed me admiiting I was wrong in saying your opinion was useless [img]smile.gif[/img]

Naw, actually I just missed the apology for being arrogant enough to believe you can decide which opinion is useless and which isn't.

Thats fine though, you are showing a really good example that I was completely right that you don't know what you are talking about if you think Azure "raising" his sister is the same as being a parent.

I did NOT say it was the same thing. But if the care of his sister rested on his shoulders primarily, then I do believe he has a fair judgement of the situation. That is, unless one believes, like you do, that anyone under 18 years of age -even when they have to fulfill the role of a parent- has no right to speak. To that I can only say that I know 20 year olds with a great deal more common sense and life experience than some 40 year olds.
My point actually was that if you believe that the only person to truly know about these things is a biological parent, how do you know for certain that you are one? And if it's not the biological parent thing, then what to you is the difference between a grown sibling having to take care of a child and for instance another family member such as an aunt?

but then you didnt read much of any of my posts and oonly read what you wanted...

I've read all of them very well, it's just that I'm really not supposed to be here, see, because whatever I say is useless. Yes, you may have admitted that saying that was wrong, but a moment later you AGAIN stated that "people who havent had to have the responsibility of being a parent, saying what they would do in a situation. Im saying BS. to that, its like someone who is sitting comfy at home saying how they would react under fire..it is totally bull and should be disregarded as a person speaking from ignorance. "

ahhh well, Im sure some day you will be the perfect mother.

What the f*ck do you know about that?

[Talthyr Malkaviel]

Well then Magik, if you are going to discard the opinion of anyone for that reason, shall I then discard yours because of it's falw??
You smack your kid occasionally, yes?? Well then, how do you know it's effective without being the reciver, maybe it doesn't make him harbour hatred to you, but that doesn't mean it won't in other situations, and still being happy with you doesn't necessarily mean your son isn't affected by them.
By using pain as a method of discipline you aren't necessarily making them do good because they realise they should, they will most likely do it because of fear of punishment.
A successfully raised child shouldn't need to be smacked IMO, because they would have strong moral values and not just be good because they subconsciously relate it with being smacked.

Originally posted by MagiK: Im the person who "the hell" started the thread [img]smile.gif[/img] thats who

and?

Originally posted by MagiK: [img]smile.gif[/img] Im also a parent who sees too many kids run wild at "insert your favorite department store" Im the parent who sees children hitting their parents, who sees children taking drugs, who sees kids killing each other over sneakers Im a person who has raised two kids that so far are moral decent human beings living in a sea of wild animal children. Fortunately Im able to have them live most of the time in a nice quiet rural setting now, and they are very glad of it. Im glad for your "friends" who have never touched their kids, I hope their kids continue to be fine decent humans...Ill believe it when I see it, and they will be the exception rather than the rule.

nice use of quotes where it was not necessary. So you're teh epitome of parenthood because you started this thread? i see! so the wqhole thing was to justify to others why you smack your kids then? lovely!

guess we'll leave you to it then

[Mouse]

MagiK - a small point to ponder. You seem to be asserting that without actually having had children, a person's views are without merit on the subject. However, that denies that someone can gain valid insight by study and observation. In fact, someone less intimately involved in a situation may be able to take a more balanced position on a subject.

By your logic, all male obstetricians would be barred from practicing medicine because they could not become pregnant [img]graemlins/crazyeyes.gif[/img]

Btw, so far this has been a largely well mannered debate on what is clearly an emotive subject. Let's keep it that way and respect each other's opinions.

Just because I do not value a persons opinion on a single subject, does not mean that I do not value that person, or their thoughts on other subjects.....the idea that I do not value people has been read into my posts (I did not write it or say it) and is a completley false assumption by anyone who thinks this.