I always knew Footballers were dumb. but...

[Jorath Calar]

I finally found the proof


Fottballers Quotes

"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams..."
- Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed with
mild schizophrenia.

"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy
some new ones"
- Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LC QF, 1992.

"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to
hang around in defence."
-NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning.

"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just
squandered"
- George Best.

"The only English Paul Gascoigne taught me was : 'You reet ugly b*****d' "
- Chelsea Steward at the training ground to Marco Van Basten (30/11/96)


"If you're Marco Van Basten, I'm Father Christmas."
- Chelsea Steward at the training ground to Marco Van Basten (30/11/96)

"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent"
- Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.

"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
- John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did
not know who he was.

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies
is between their legs..."
- ANDY GRAY, Sky Sport

Richard Keys : Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish above
Manchester United to win the league ?
Roy Evans : You have to finish above everyone to win the league Richard.

"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen."
- TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold

"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday."
(Radio 5 Live)

"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money."
- (NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5 Live) "I'm not a believer in luck..... but
I do believe you need it."
- ALAN BALL

"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be
any different."
- TREVOR BROOKING

"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badlycut forehead."
- (TOM FERRIE)

"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley......unless
somebody knocks us out."
- (DAVE BASSETT)

"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds."
- (PETER JONES)

"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball
they are attacking their opponents goal."
- (JIMMY HILL)

"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins."
- (BRIAN MOORE)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for
even longer."
- (DAVID ACFIELD)

What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio
- Gerry Francis

John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday.
- New York Post (1993)

If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated
footballers. - Mick Lyons

He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head - Derek Johnstone
- BBC TV Scotland (1994)

The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something
that nobody else did - Barry Davies (1975)

I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel - Stuart Pearce (1992)

Jimmy Hill: Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany
has got of getting through?
Terry Venables: I think it's fifty - fifty


There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch
- Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39

Manchester United take more in programme sales than we take on the gate
- Lawrie McMenemy, Southampton

If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim
- Berti Vogts, Germany coach

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey
- Arrigo Sacchi, Italy coach, defending a meagre playing record

Love is good for footballers, as long as it is not at half-time
- Richard Moller Nielsen, Denmark coach

I was about to say, before something far more interesting interrupted . . .
- John Motson, France v Bulgaria

Why didn't you just belt it son?
- Gareth Southgate's mother reflects publicly on her son's penalty miss

The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out and take
us all to Eurodisney
- Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon

I was shocked when I was first introduced to the fans because they brought
out a sheep, cut its head off and then smeared blood over my forehead
- Manchester United's Ronnie Johnsen on life with Besiktas, Turkey

If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it twice as
hard for them
- Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional game

The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil and the
entertainment value is not much above nil
- Sunderland v Leicester, Radio 5 Live

I think having Wasps around here as well gives us that little buzz around
the place
- Ray Wilkins on the QPR-Wasps groundshare

This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players
- praise for the Under-21s from Javier Clemente, Spain's coach

There are some great defenders here, I just don't know their names
- David Ginola of Newcastle and France

It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up
- Ian Wright on the Arsenal captain's confession to alcoholism

It's sod's law. Now I've got time to improve my golf it's the wrong time of
year
- Howard Wilkinson when sacked by Leeds

I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got plenty of
help
- Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge

The referee was booking everyone. I thought he was filling in his lottery
numbers
- Ian Wright

"asking Ruud Gullit to perform in this sort of match is like asking Kiri te
Kanawa to jam with the Spice Girls"
- 5 Live's Pat Murphy on the lousy pitch at Derby and the ill-tempered
nature of the game

"He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!"
- RTE's (Ireland) George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez's
substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in
Seville,1992.

"I've always said there's a place for the press, but they haven't dug it
yet"
- Tommy Docherty.

""Viv Anderson has p*ssed a fatness test."
- ITV commentator John Helm

"We've been playing for 61 minutes here in Serravalle, and it's just
occurred to me that Scotland are drawing 0-0 with a mountaintop"
- BBC Radio Scotland commentator Ian Archer on San Marino v Scotland,
May,1991

"It's not a nice feeling when your in a supermarket shopping, and the
checkout girl is thinking 'dodgy keeper'.
- David James.

Thanks for posting that Jorath, it was great!

[Lavindathar]

Lol, I've heard quite a few of them but there is a few I've not seen!!!

Well done Jorath...you've just inspired me to do a new post...