06-28-2004, 04:54 PM | #41 | ||
Iron Throne Cult
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My opinion, based on research and the logic of behaviour theory, is that any discipline technique will be effective if it is meaningful to the child, and applied consistently. Children must be able to predict the consequences of their behaviour, both good and bad, and have incentive to behave well, and the reason children don't learn right from wrong is not because they are or are not spanked, but because their parenting is inconsistent and unpredictable, or the rewards they get for behaving well are not worth it. I think it's good that spanking is losing favour, because I don't agree that it is necessary (although not for most of the reasons in the article), but I think it's a problem that now parents think they can't spank but aren't replacing spanking with effective consistent behaviour management strategies. There's a lot of 'Don't spank!', but not a lot of 'Do....' instead.
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06-28-2004, 06:45 PM | #42 |
Fzoul Chembryl
Join Date: August 30, 2001
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Good post Aelia! Consistent and meaningful application is much more important than the method.It's also the hardest thing for parents to do as it requires constant effort
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06-28-2004, 07:24 PM | #43 |
Symbol of Bane
Join Date: November 26, 2001
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{Double post deleted) Sorry - Attalus
[ 06-28-2004, 07:30 PM: Message edited by: Attalus ]
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06-28-2004, 08:20 PM | #44 |
Apophis
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Reason #11: Your children will select your nursing home.
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06-28-2004, 08:36 PM | #45 | |
Lord Ao
Join Date: May 27, 2004
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06-29-2004, 06:57 PM | #46 |
Fzoul Chembryl
Join Date: July 16, 2003
Location: Wa\'eni\'n
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I think spanking isn't needed, however, threatening to do that is good enough methinks. Certainly a twice-size angry-looking parent with a raised arm can intimidate some punk kid into submission
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06-30-2004, 09:35 AM | #47 | |
Baaz Draconian
Join Date: May 24, 2004
Location: Bundaberg, Queensland, Australia
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I'm not typing this to change anyones mind, just stating something that I see as wrong and traumatising for a child, just like everyone else is stating here. But yes I have nothing against it, as long as the parent does not get out of hand and eventually hurts the child really bad. I would never hit a child myself though. Anyways everyone has a different opinion and I am not objective to that.
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06-30-2004, 09:52 AM | #48 | |
Galvatron
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06-30-2004, 04:35 PM | #49 | ||
Iron Throne Cult
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06-30-2004, 07:03 PM | #50 |
Drizzt Do'Urden
Join Date: April 13, 2004
Location: USA
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for more reasons than have been discussed here, i must say that i think the original article is horribly wrong.
yes, i was spanked as a child. yes, i love my parents. yes, i respect them for raising me properly. no, i dont suffer psychological damage from spanking, and no, i don't innexplicably fear those i deem to have more power or influence than i do. Children misbehave because of bad parenting. ACTUALLY, children misbehave because it is in the nature of the child to test limits and establish societal norms through experimentation and developement with guidance from the parent. too many parents rely ONLY on positive reenforcement, a technique which is damaging to EVERYONE in its grasp, and severely damaging to a small but significant portion. bad parenting isnt what causes children to misbehave, its what fails to enforce punishment and leaves a child with an entitlement sense that is more damaging to our society. when i have children, i will not spare them spankings. i won't even say that physical discipline will cease to be a threat as they get older, although i wouldnt subject them to it. i love my dad, at the same time, i know that if i deserved it he would probably put me through the wall. its not psychologically damaging, i have learned when to keep my mouth shut, which is a good cry better than most adults my age. i plan to raise my children how i deem fit, and God help the man who tries to interfere with my children's well being...
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