Should you smack your children?

[caleb]

Originally posted by MagiK: quote: Originally posted by caleb: Would you agree to Mike Tyson smacking you when you did something bad? Then why is it ok to do that to a kid.

What has mike tyson got to do with this?? You are comparing an out of control lunatic to patrents disciplining their children...the whole premise is flawed to say the least.

Just because parents are bigger and stronger than their kids (in most cases) does not mean they are raving lunatics pounding on their children...that may be what a child may think, but in reality it is far different......yes there are pearents who abuse their children..it is sad, but this isn't a thread about them.[/QUOTE]Oh he wouldnt smack you very hard. Just enough pain to discipline you What you wont agree to it? So its ok for you to pass judgement on someone and smack them but not the other way around?

[Cerek the Barbaric]

Originally posted by caleb: Oh he wouldnt smack you very hard. Just enough pain to discipline you What you wont agree to it? So its ok for you to pass judgement on someone and smack them but not the other way around?

Caleb,

As far as I know, Mike Tyson isn't Magiks father. Since the thread concerns parents disciplining their children, your example is not relevant.

If you disagree, that's fine. But 3 Mods have already Posted about inserting subjectively judgemental comments into your Response.

[Larry_OHF]

Melusine
Thank you for your last post to me. I fully agree with you
I do not enjoy being hostile towards a small child, especially to teach her not to be hostile (seems contradictive, but it seemed to me at the time that the punishment on the offending leg was the only thing that had not been tried. Yet, I do not condone such violence be used freely.

Let me tell you all a bit. My mom physically and mentally abused my sister and I when we were young, up until the time that she cut her own wrists to end her life. After she got better by staying in a Mental Hospital for 2 months...she was different, to the relief of us. Yet...I can still remember being cornered in my room, covering my head shrinking away, screaming as my mom would be hitting me with anything she could get her hands on. Anything.
Why did she do that? Her mom abandoned her to her grandmother, and her grandmother raised her like that. Yet, I am glad that I see the error in that pattern, and it will stop with me. I do not want my child on the Internet one day telling the world that she was beaten by her father when she was a child.
You all follow me??

[Yorick]

The danger in smacking a child in anger, is that the child remembers the punishment itself, not the action they were punished for. It also creates a fear of the parent.

Fear and love are opposite.

One of the nicest guys I know had such a loving relationship with his young son, that the mere shift in vocal tone - to light disapproval - brought the child to tears, and necessary action reversal.

Positive impetus is much stronger than negative impetus.

Originally posted by caleb: quote: Originally posted by MagiK: quote: Originally posted by caleb: Would you agree to Mike Tyson smacking you when you did something bad? Then why is it ok to do that to a kid.

What has mike tyson got to do with this?? You are comparing an out of control lunatic to patrents disciplining their children...the whole premise is flawed to say the least.

Just because parents are bigger and stronger than their kids (in most cases) does not mean they are raving lunatics pounding on their children...that may be what a child may think, but in reality it is far different......yes there are pearents who abuse their children..it is sad, but this isn't a thread about them.[/QUOTE]Oh he wouldnt smack you very hard. Just enough pain to discipline you What you wont agree to it? So its ok for you to pass judgement on someone and smack them but not the other way around?[/QUOTE]I'll take your question seriously here..and YES I as a PARENT have the absolute RESPONSIBILITY to pass judgement on my children, to determine whether they are right or wrong and wether or not they NEED punishment, pickinng some arbitrary lunatic and having them pummle someone they have no business hasseling is stupid plain and simple...I do think that you are not really trying tohave a discourse but to act as troll and as the mods have said..we are supposed to STOP that.

Originally posted by Larry_OHF: Melusine Thank you for your last post to me. I fully agree with you I do not enjoy being hostile towards a small child, especially to teach her not to be hostile (seems contradictive, but it seemed to me at the time that the punishment on the offending leg was the only thing that had not been tried. Yet, I do not condone such violence be used freely. Let me tell you all a bit. My mom physically and mentally abused my sister and I when we were young, up until the time that she cut her own wrists to end her life. After she got better by staying in a Mental Hospital for 2 months...she was different, to the relief of us. Yet...I can still remember being cornered in my room, covering my head shrinking away, screaming as my mom would be hitting me with anything she could get her hands on. Anything. Why did she do that? Her mom abandoned her to her grandmother, and her grandmother raised her like that. Yet, I am glad that I see the error in that pattern, and it will stop with me. I do not want my child on the Internet one day telling the world that she was beaten by her father when she was a child. You all follow me??

Yes I do follow you Larry, and I am so sorry you had to suffer through that, but that is not after all what we are attempting to discuss here..that was sheer mental and physical abuse whith no purpose of trying to educate or train you or your sister.

[caleb]

Magik my point is that just because you are related to someone does not give you the right to assault.

Originally posted by Yorick: The danger in smacking a child in anger, is that the child remembers the punishment itself, not the action they were punished for. It also creates a fear of the parent. Fear and love are opposite. One of the nicest guys I know had such a loving relationship with his young son, that the mere shift in vocal tone - to light disapproval - brought the child to tears, and necessary action reversal. Positive impetus is much stronger than negative impetus.

The key to proper child rearing is to not punish while angry..take time to calm down and then handle the task of punishment in a rational way, wether spanking or time out or any other method you wish to use.

[Talthyr Malkaviel]

Originally posted by Yorick: The danger in smacking a child in anger, is that the child remembers the punishment itself, not the action they were punished for. It also creates a fear of the parent. Fear and love are opposite. One of the nicest guys I know had such a loving relationship with his young son, that the mere shift in vocal tone - to light disapproval - brought the child to tears, and necessary action reversal. Positive impetus is much stronger than negative impetus.

Well, I agree with what you said about that parent, I personally would probably feel more punished if I knew how much I had disappointed my parents rather than just have them cuff the idea in to me.

Originally posted by caleb: Magik my point is that just because you are related to someone does not give you the right to assault.

Wrongo boyo. In the United States for the most part, parents are in fact allowed and permitted to spank their children. I have every right to "assault" my child if I feel it is what is called for.

This has actually been the way of things as far back as the written history of man can trace, the modern fantasy that physical punishment was damaging didnt really come to lite till the 1960's and we see how well mannered the worlds children have become.