A sick Oldie - Page 2

Callum · 09-24-2005, 08:33 AM

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all work on a building site.

They stop for their lunch break, and sit down together to unwrap their sandwiches. The Englishman looks at the filling in his and groans, "Tuna! My wife knows I hate tuna."

The Scotsman examines his sandwiches and emits a similar groan. "And I have liver pate! I hate liver pate. And my wife knows it too."

The Irishman then checks his sandwiches and complains. "Not corned beef! She knows I hate corned beef."

So they all throw their sandwiches away, and that night, tell their wives.

However the next day, they each recieve the same sandwiches, and resolve to have a serious discussion with their wives.

Yet the next day, there is no change in their sandwiches.

"Right," said the Englishman. "If I get tuna sandwiches one more time, I'm going to jump off this building."

"I'll be with you, if I get liver pate tomorrow."

"And I, if I get corned beef."

The next day at lunch time, the three men look at their sandwiches, and wordlessly walk to the edge of the building and jump off.

At the funeral, all three wives are sobbing and crying together, and the Englishman's wife sobs into the shoulder of the Scotsman's wife, "I never realised he actually meant it. I just didn't have anything else."

The Scotsman's wife sobbed something similar in reply, and they both turned to look at the Irishman's wife.

She shrugged. "Don't look at me. He makes his own sandwiches."

Callum · 09-24-2005, 08:37 AM

An Irishman meets his friend in the street, carrying a large sack, and asks him "Paddy, what have ye got in ye're sack?"

"I've got pigs, for sellin' at market," replied Paddy.

"If I can guess how many pigs ye've got in ye're sack, will ye give me one of them?"

"I'll give ye 'em both!" he replied.

"Sure, an' ye've got three."

ZFR · 09-25-2005, 01:56 PM

The helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Irish island and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. "Is there a mechanic in the area?" he asked the woman who answered the door.

She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. "No," she finally said, pointing down the road, "We do have a McArdle and a McKay, but not a McAnnick."

shadowhound · 09-25-2005, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by burnzey boi:
"Yeah i know." laughed the american "but i couldnt help myself because the next guy had a watermelon!"

I always heard that one with pineapples

Now that thought makes me worry!

johnny · 09-25-2005, 06:22 PM

This has little or nothing to do with the Irish, but it's still good enough for a chuckle...

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password -- something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in:

"P......E......N......I......S."

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ****

Sir Goulum · 09-25-2005, 07:12 PM

LOL, good one Johnny. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

09-24-2005, 08:33 AM	#11
Callum Symbol of Cyric Join Date: October 21, 2004 Location: Vancouver, BC Age: 36 Posts: 1,143	An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all work on a building site. They stop for their lunch break, and sit down together to unwrap their sandwiches. The Englishman looks at the filling in his and groans, "Tuna! My wife knows I hate tuna." The Scotsman examines his sandwiches and emits a similar groan. "And I have liver pate! I hate liver pate. And my wife knows it too." The Irishman then checks his sandwiches and complains. "Not corned beef! She knows I hate corned beef." So they all throw their sandwiches away, and that night, tell their wives. However the next day, they each recieve the same sandwiches, and resolve to have a serious discussion with their wives. Yet the next day, there is no change in their sandwiches. "Right," said the Englishman. "If I get tuna sandwiches one more time, I'm going to jump off this building." "I'll be with you, if I get liver pate tomorrow." "And I, if I get corned beef." The next day at lunch time, the three men look at their sandwiches, and wordlessly walk to the edge of the building and jump off. At the funeral, all three wives are sobbing and crying together, and the Englishman's wife sobs into the shoulder of the Scotsman's wife, "I never realised he actually meant it. I just didn't have anything else." The Scotsman's wife sobbed something similar in reply, and they both turned to look at the Irishman's wife. She shrugged. "Don't look at me. He makes his own sandwiches." __________________ [img]\"http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/4763/callumavataranimated4ff.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

09-24-2005, 08:37 AM	#12
Callum Symbol of Cyric Join Date: October 21, 2004 Location: Vancouver, BC Age: 36 Posts: 1,143	An Irishman meets his friend in the street, carrying a large sack, and asks him "Paddy, what have ye got in ye're sack?" "I've got pigs, for sellin' at market," replied Paddy. "If I can guess how many pigs ye've got in ye're sack, will ye give me one of them?" "I'll give ye 'em both!" he replied. "Sure, an' ye've got three." __________________ [img]\"http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/4763/callumavataranimated4ff.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

09-25-2005, 01:56 PM	#13
ZFR Legion Symbol Join Date: February 14, 2002 Location: Ireland Age: 41 Posts: 7,370	The helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Irish island and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. "Is there a mechanic in the area?" he asked the woman who answered the door. She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. "No," she finally said, pointing down the road, "We do have a McArdle and a McKay, but not a McAnnick." __________________ ZFR

09-25-2005, 06:22 PM	#15
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 59 Posts: 16,981	This has little or nothing to do with the Irish, but it's still good enough for a chuckle... A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password -- something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in: "P......E......N......I......S." His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: ** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ** __________________

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09-25-2005, 07:12 PM	#16
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 36 Posts: 8,985	LOL, good one Johnny. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

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