Must be a "woman" thing....

[DiabloRex]

I agree with Saz here with a "selfprofilling phrofey"

If you make up your mind about someone at first glance (or later for that matter) you are probably not trying to change that opinion, especially not as you said about your wife "her opinion is set in stone"

In short if you *think* you wont get along with that person, then you wont get along with that person because you want your thought/opinion to be true.

[ 08-16-2002, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: DiabloRex ]

[Lady Blue03]

Thats a good point. I however, judge on the handshake when i meet someone. I was meeting my freinds ex-boyfriends new girlfriend, and i just about crushed her hand when i shhok it cause it was so limp. I HATE that! To me it means theyre weak. Thats why i always reserve judgement till the hand [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Aelia Jusa]

Originally posted by Lady Blue03: Thats a good point. I however, judge on the handshake when i meet someone. I was meeting my freinds ex-boyfriends new girlfriend, and i just about crushed her hand when i shhok it cause it was so limp. I HATE that! To me it means theyre weak. Thats why i always reserve judgement till the hand [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I don't know about that. Maybe they're just being considerate and trying not to crush people's hands when they shake. A handshake isn't an opportunity to show how muscly you are after all, it's a greeting

I agree with Saz about the self-fulfilling prophecy. Also that it isn't necessarily a gender thing. There are women who are terrible judges of character and men who make snap judgements which may turn out to be true. I think there are things you can tell from a first impression, but I don't make up my mind then and there about what they're like and not be prepared to change my mind [img]smile.gif[/img]

[DiabloRex]

Originally posted by Aelia Jusa: I don't know about that. Maybe they're just being considerate and trying not to crush people's hands when they shake. A handshake isn't an opportunity to show how muscly you are after all, it's a greeting

Noneone said it was a contest to see whos hand would first get crushed

It is very annoying to shake a hand where it feels like their is no bones in the hand. Which I think is what Lady Blue meant [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Melkor, The Dark Lord]

I can usually tell by looking at people if they are nice and if I'm going to be able to get along with them. So its not strictly a woman's thing.

Originally posted by DiabloRex: quote: Originally posted by Aelia Jusa: I don't know about that. Maybe they're just being considerate and trying not to crush people's hands when they shake. A handshake isn't an opportunity to show how muscly you are after all, it's a greeting

Noneone said it was a contest to see whos hand would first get crushed

It is very annoying to shake a hand where it feels like their is no bones in the hand. Which I think is what Lady Blue meant [img]smile.gif[/img] [/QUOTE]I agree. Women are kind of expected to put out a dainty paw but shaking a man's hand should be more of a grasping thing than the dead handed shake that some men offer and when they out out that dainty pawed, only the fingertips kind of shake it makes them look effeminate (sp?) and weak.

As far as first impressions go, we all make snap judgements when we meet people for the first time but it is whether or not we stick to them that matters and makes the difference. I am more of the kind of person who will make certain judgements based on what people project through their eyes when they speak and if I feel that they are not someone I would get along with, I try my best to dismiss that idea until they prove themselves one way or the other.
Determining whether or not you will be able to get along with someone on a first meeting is a harsh way to make and keep friends. You never really know what people are really like until you give them time to show you in person.

[ 08-16-2002, 08:43 PM: Message edited by: Moni ]

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

Originally posted by Cerek the Barbaric: My wife has a habit that can really annoy me at times. Whenever she meets somebody for the first time, she will make a "snap judgement" of thier character right on the spot....and there is no persuading her otherwise. Once she makes up her mind, it's set in stone. On more than one occasion, I've introduced her to somebody else, only to have her say immediately afterwards "He/she and I will not get along." This goes beyond "first impressions"....everybody makes some type of initial judgement about a person. But my wife seems to analyze their entire personality based on nothing more than a simple greeting. The REALLY annoying thing is.......SHE'S USUALLY RIGHT!!!! She can honostly tell if she will "get along" with somebody (and vice versa) pretty much on sight. I've talked to other girls I know, and they said that they do the same thing a lot of times. So I'm just wondering if any of the IW women do this? If so, do any of the guys do it too, or is it really just a "woman thing"? As for myself, I can only think of a very few people I ever made such a "snap" judgement about, and I turned out to be very wrong about one of them. He and I are good friends to this day.

See there are psychological reasons why she is usually right. the basis of the initial snap judgement dicattes how she will react in any given situation with same individual. For instance since when she first meets them she thinks she won't like them, in all of their encounters after that point she will go in already disliking/liking that person, and then their interactions at that point will be on the basis of that pre-formed opinion. For instance you go shopping with your wife, and you know your not going to have a good time, so your naturally predisposed not to have a good time, so you don't. I mean on ocassion when you go shopping with your wife something unexpected will happen and change that experience for you, like they open a cool new store at the mall, and you really enjoy your visit. The same thing applies to predetermination of your wife's disposition towards people. she decides she won't get along with them and doesn't unless they somehow drastially change her opinion of them, or maybe once she talks to them they find out they have a lot in common, and her opinion is changed, but beyond that once she makes up her mind her experiences are going to weighted to account for that. This probably seems like nonsensical babble, but i hope this might explain this phenomenon

I think everyone does it too a point, some people are just more open-minded and they can really give someone a chance and get past their initial prejudices easier than others

[ 08-16-2002, 08:46 PM: Message edited by: AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe ]

[Epona]

I'm very easy to get along with. I don't dislike anyone at first glance (unless they have a swastika tattoo or something like that!!!)

I rarely dislike people, but if I do it is based on things they've said or done, not before that.

And I think Azreal is correct in what he says about preconceptions damaging future encounters.

[Attalus]

Couldn't agree more, Epona. But, I think that some people, men included, judge a lot on how much danger a person is going to be to their relationship.

[John D Harris]

My wife does the same thing, and she's usually right too!
I can size up a personallity type quickly, as to weither or not we would get along or not. I worked with a guy in Texas, (back in the stone age) that when we meet at work we both knew instantly we would either be friends or enemies,no middle ground what so ever! We choose to be friends.