Australia under attack

[Lauren]

Attack of the killer Kangaroos! They're rebelling!! Help us!
Hopefully those type of Kangaroos won't come to the little town I live in. They might try and jump on my head [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ 07-08-2004, 09:47 PM: Message edited by: Lauren ]

[Davros]

Roos aren't a problem Lauren - just watch out for Drop Bears though.

[Lauren]

Drop bears?

[Davros]

You have never seen a Drop Bear??? Never witnessed an attack???

[Davros]

For Lauren's benefit :

When I was little (about age 12) I got introduced to our great Aussie culture of Drop Bears. A group of us an a school trip went to visit one of the Whitsunday Islands, which as you would expect was full of tourists - predominantly Americans with huge cameras and telephoto lenses.

The other guys involved me in the prank. What you do is you wander about the island, running from clearing to clearing - always looking up and making very sure that you don't walk under any trees. You act extremely nervous and frightened and talk all in a rush.

When a tourist asks you what the matter is you tell them you are simply worried about Drop Bears and how one of them badly mangled your mum last week. She should have known better about it being Drop Bear season but that she had been careless.

You will no doubt get asked "what are drop bears", and the standard answer is that they are a smaller and much more nasty version of the koala bear (even more helpful to have Koala bears in the vicinity). You then helpfully explain the way the little blighters hide in trees and drop down on unsuspecting people who walk under the tree. For some reason, they seem to get really angry with cameras. In two weeks time, when mating season is over they will return to being wonderful placid timid creatures, but this is not the fortnight to piss them off.

It is great to watch the tourists then adopt all your safety precautions and start staring up at tree tops and staying out of the shade and nervously running between clearings.

At the age of 12, it is propbably the most fun one can have considering that legally there is very little other fun you are meant to have .

[Oblivion437]

Originally posted by Davros: You have never seen a Drop Bear??? Never witnessed an attack???

I think I saw it in an episode of Family Guy.

Peter was sitting there poking an Alligator with a stick, and then a Koala bear jumps up and attacks his face.

[Davros]

Oblivion - you did understand from my last post that the "Drop Bear" is as imaginary and ficticious as the Unicorn or the Jabberwocky - well I hope you did. [img]smile.gif[/img] .

I nearly fell off my chair laughing when Terry Pratchett used a Drop Bear to attack Rincewind in his novel "The Lost Continent" . That book had so much humour that would have unfortunately been lost on people of different ethnicity .

[Timber Loftis]

Davros, methinks Aussies are lacking for entertainment. And, tourists are too easy a mark for real sport, aren't they?

[Davros]

Originally posted by Timber Loftis: Davros, methinks Aussies are lacking for entertainment. And, tourists are too easy a mark for real sport, aren't they?

Dude - when I were 12, TV's were black and white, and programs were mostly news and uninteresting stuff. There weren't no computer games, although the original ZORK was only a year off, and we never had no computer at the primary school anywho's.

Entertainment when livin on a farm consisted of playing cricket in the back yard with your younger brother, or chasing the bandicoots that got flushed when you burned off a paddock of sugar cane. In the face of that, being introduced to the game of "play with the minds of tourists" was a fresh air of release [img]smile.gif[/img] .

I think it important to maintain relativity when making your argument that Australians are lacking in entertainment. Maybe it was just a dig you took at my post. Back then there was an element of truth in your statement, but we are so Americanised now that it would be considered arrant nonsense today.

And one thing that is unversally true - at the age of 12, idle hands can be the devil's playground .

[Timber Loftis]

It weren't no dig -- or if it was, it was only in fun. You shoulda been around my neck of the woods at that age -- we had BB Gun and Bottle Rocket Wars. [img]graemlins/heee.gif[/img] Idle hands, indeed.