Groan - Page 2

Staralfur · 02-13-2002, 06:10 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kenyth:
AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's almost as bad as the "Pretty Pink Ping-Pong ball" joke I nearly throttled someone for some years back!

I've found it and I'm not afraid to use it [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img]

Here's the first line as proof;
There was this boy who just graduated from high school and his dad asked him, 'Son, what do you want for graduation?'

Grojlach it wasn't that bad, was it?

*scarpers quickly before the he has the chance to get his measurements properly*

SSJ4Sephiroth · 02-13-2002, 07:56 PM

your right, those were some real groaners...

Garnet FalconDance · 02-14-2002, 10:33 AM

...a tiny whisper...but I *liked* the first one...

Cerek the Barbaric · 02-14-2002, 10:43 AM

I'll see how far I can push my luck. Here's a short one.

Ghandi was, without a doubt, one of the greatest religious leaders who ever lived. He believed in a very simple existence, foregoing many modern conveniences. One example is that he traveled everywhere by foot, but never wore shoes. This caused his feet to develop very thick callouses. While he was a holy man and healer, his own health was often very poor. He was also a very strict vegetarian, but the limited diet led to a chronic case of bad breath. So...given this information....one could say that Ghandi was a.....
"Super-calloused, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis"

Donut · 02-14-2002, 10:57 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance:
...a tiny whisper...but I *liked* the first one...

Yes I've been telling the kermit joke in the pub for a few weeks now - each time I tell it I add a bit to it to maintain the interest of those that have heard it. I made this joke up yesterday:

On the island of Goa in the Indian Ocean the inhabitants were getting fed up with the heat. 'What we need is a cool drink to cool us down' said one. 'let's build a cider factory to make nice cool cider' said another.

So they built the cider factory but found that it was too cold inside for any of them to work. They decided to train a family of chimpamzees to do it for them. All went well until the youngest chimpanzee, despite his hairy coat began to feel the cold.

'I'm cold Mum!' he complained to his mother.
'Okay son I'll get you a nice warm overcoat to keep you warm'. Which she did and all was well again until one day one of the buttons fell off of his coat. So as not to bother his mother the young chimp decided to sew the button on for himself. He did this while still wearing the coat and when he was finished he was shocked to find that he had sewn the button onto his own skin through the coat.

He started to tug at the button to get it off and while he was doing this he lost his balanced and tumbled into the vat of cider.

'Mum, Mum - help me!' he cried as he splashed about in the cider. His mother heard his cries and came running. He told her what had happened and she burst out laughing.

With that the father chimpanzee came up and asked the mother chimpanzee what was wrong and she said:

(to the tune of 'I don't like Mondays')

'Silly Goan chimp in cider said he's stitched to overcoat'

(Perhaps I shouldn't give up my day job

)

Sir Kenyth · 02-14-2002, 10:57 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Staralfur:

I've found it and I'm not afraid to use it [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img]

Here's the first line as proof;
There was this boy who just graduated from high school and his dad asked him, 'Son, what do you want for graduation?'

Grojlach it wasn't that bad, was it?

*scarpers quickly before the he has the chance to get his measurements properly*

Noooooooo!

Please! Anything but the ping pong balls!!!!

AAAAAACCCCKKKKK!!!! [img]graemlins/1dizzy.gif[/img]

*Tries vainly to claw his way free from the thread*

Scholarcs · 02-15-2002, 12:26 AM

oh no! these jokes are horrible!

*starts to burn thread*

Barry the Sprout · 02-15-2002, 06:55 AM

quote:
Originally posted by Staralfur:
[QB]

I think I can call that a success.
(changed the warning now)[QB]

Much better... Although I don't know why you put "probably dangerous to your health" in the warning. It *is* dangerous to your health.

norompanlasolas · 02-15-2002, 07:11 AM

this are some of the worst jokes i have ever heard. it cant get much worse that this... can it? [img]graemlins/uhoh1.gif[/img]

02-13-2002, 06:10 PM	#11
Staralfur Baaz Draconian Join Date: April 8, 2001 Location: Nottingham, UK Age: 45 Posts: 786	quote: Originally posted by Sir Kenyth: AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's almost as bad as the "Pretty Pink Ping-Pong ball" joke I nearly throttled someone for some years back! I've found it and I'm not afraid to use it [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img] Here's the first line as proof; There was this boy who just graduated from high school and his dad asked him, 'Son, what do you want for graduation?' Grojlach it wasn't that bad, was it? scarpers quickly before the he has the chance to get his measurements properly __________________ We\'ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.\"<br />Robert Wilensky <br /><br />\"Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?\" <br />Screaming Lord Sutch<br /><br />If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

02-14-2002, 10:33 AM	#13
Garnet FalconDance Mephistopheles Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: deep within the sylvan splendor.... Age: 61 Posts: 1,443	...a tiny whisper...but I liked the first one... __________________ "Nature tells every secret once." Ralph Waldo Emerson

02-14-2002, 10:43 AM	#14
Cerek the Barbaric Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: October 29, 2001 Location: North Carolina Age: 62 Posts: 3,257	I'll see how far I can push my luck. Here's a short one. Ghandi was, without a doubt, one of the greatest religious leaders who ever lived. He believed in a very simple existence, foregoing many modern conveniences. One example is that he traveled everywhere by foot, but never wore shoes. This caused his feet to develop very thick callouses. While he was a holy man and healer, his own health was often very poor. He was also a very strict vegetarian, but the limited diet led to a chronic case of bad breath. So...given this information....one could say that Ghandi was a..... "Super-calloused, fragile mystic plagued with halitosis" __________________ [img]\"http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/cerek/cerektsrsig.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Cerek the Calmth

02-14-2002, 10:57 AM	#15
Donut Jack Burton Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Airstrip One Age: 41 Posts: 5,571	quote: Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance: *...a tiny whisper...but I liked* the first one...** Yes I've been telling the kermit joke in the pub for a few weeks now - each time I tell it I add a bit to it to maintain the interest of those that have heard it. I made this joke up yesterday: On the island of Goa in the Indian Ocean the inhabitants were getting fed up with the heat. 'What we need is a cool drink to cool us down' said one. 'let's build a cider factory to make nice cool cider' said another. So they built the cider factory but found that it was too cold inside for any of them to work. They decided to train a family of chimpamzees to do it for them. All went well until the youngest chimpanzee, despite his hairy coat began to feel the cold. 'I'm cold Mum!' he complained to his mother. 'Okay son I'll get you a nice warm overcoat to keep you warm'. Which she did and all was well again until one day one of the buttons fell off of his coat. So as not to bother his mother the young chimp decided to sew the button on for himself. He did this while still wearing the coat and when he was finished he was shocked to find that he had sewn the button onto his own skin through the coat. He started to tug at the button to get it off and while he was doing this he lost his balanced and tumbled into the vat of cider. 'Mum, Mum - help me!' he cried as he splashed about in the cider. His mother heard his cries and came running. He told her what had happened and she burst out laughing. With that the father chimpanzee came up and asked the mother chimpanzee what was wrong and she said: (to the tune of 'I don't like Mondays') 'Silly Goan chimp in cider said he's stitched to overcoat' (Perhaps I shouldn't give up my day job ) __________________ [img]\"http://www.wheatsheaf.freeserve.co.uk/roastspurs.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> <br />Proud member of the Axis of Upheaval<br />Official Titterer of the Laughing Hyenas<br />Josiah Bartlet - the best President the US never had.<br />The 1st D in the D & D Show

02-14-2002, 10:57 AM	#16
Sir Kenyth Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: somewhere Age: 55 Posts: 1,785	quote: Originally posted by Staralfur: I've found it and I'm not afraid to use it [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img] Here's the first line as proof; There was this boy who just graduated from high school and his dad asked him, 'Son, what do you want for graduation?' Grojlach it wasn't that bad, was it? scarpers quickly before the he has the chance to get his measurements properly Noooooooo! Please! Anything but the ping pong balls!!!! AAAAAACCCCKKKKK!!!! [img]graemlins/1dizzy.gif[/img] Tries vainly to claw his way free from the thread __________________ Master Barbsman and wielder of the razor wit!<br /><br />There are dark angels among us. They present themselves in shining raiment but there is, in their hearts, the blackness of the abyss.

02-13-2002, 07:56 PM	#12
SSJ4Sephiroth Beholder Join Date: May 4, 2001 Location: The Outside Looking In Age: 38 Posts: 4,361	your right, those were some real groaners...

02-15-2002, 12:26 AM	#17
Scholarcs Red Dragon Join Date: December 5, 2001 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Age: 39 Posts: 1,557	oh no! these jokes are horrible! starts to burn thread __________________ <br />\"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five\" - Groucho Marx<br />Member of the ORT Clan. <br />\"Some birds are not meant to be caged because their feathers are too bright\"<br />Ma bouche sera la bouche des malheurs qui n\'ont point de bouche, ma voix, la liberté de celles qui s\'affaissent au cachot du désespoir. - Aimé Césaire<br />La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l\'on n\'a pas ri. - Sébastien Roch Nicolas

02-15-2002, 06:55 AM	#18
Barry the Sprout White Dragon Join Date: October 19, 2001 Location: York, UK. Age: 42 Posts: 1,815	quote: Originally posted by Staralfur: [QB] I think I can call that a success. (changed the warning now)[QB] Much better... Although I don't know why you put "probably dangerous to your health" in the warning. It is dangerous to your health. __________________ [img]\"http://img1.ranchoweb.com/images/sproutman/certwist.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br /><i>\"And the angels all pallid and wan,<br />Uprising, unveiling, affirm,<br />That the play is the tragedy, man,<br />And its hero the Conquerer Worm.\"</i><br /> - Edgar Allan Poe

02-15-2002, 07:11 AM	#19
norompanlasolas Avatar Join Date: November 13, 2001 Location: madrid, spain... made in argentina Age: 48 Posts: 569	this are some of the worst jokes i have ever heard. it cant get much worse that this... can it? [img]graemlins/uhoh1.gif[/img] __________________ no

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