No better then this orange - Page 2

Sazerac · 11-26-2002, 03:35 PM

This is told for the truth, although it is many years ago that it happened (Summer of 1983). It's the funniest "orange" story that I know.

I was working at the time for an Inventory counting place, where we would travel over the regional area and take physical inventory in grocery stores. Unfortunately, this particular company had a penchant for getting contracts for grocery stores in the seedier parts of the towns and cities we were in.

Any way, one particular store we went to was in Beaumont, Texas, in the rougher "oilfield" area of the city. Just for you to understand, there were bars all over the doors and windows, and two armed guards were circling the store all the time. Gave us the danged willies! I think the name of the store was like "Lo-Boy Foods"; obviously one of the lower-end bargain groceries.

Anyway, while counting the goods in there, several of us remarked an old, old lady come in wearing a spaghetti-strapped evening gown and high-topped tennis shoes. We were snickering about this, until we noticed her making her way over to the orange counter. She filled her hand basket with oranges and when she could get no more in, started stuffing them down the front of her gown!

By now all of us had stopped counting and were just staring at her. She tottled over to the checkout, where she proceeded to unload her oranges...first from the basket, then, by unstrapping her evening gown and letting the oranges free onto the conveyor belt, exposing herself in the process since she had no bra on. She then pulled up her evening gown over herself as if nothing had occurred.

One of my friends who was working with me had to run to the back very quickly, because he was about to burst his eardrums holding in the guffaws that he had (he later told me). I just stood there with my mouth wide open. I was only 19 years old at the time and had never seen anything like that before in my life!

After we had finished, one of our crew was so emboldened to approach the checker and ask her what was up with the old lady. She said, "Oh, that's nothing; she comes in about every three weeks and does that." Just treated it as natural as anyone coming in to the store.

I'll just never quite forget that! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] I'm sure the poor loony old soul has long gone to her greater reward, which, hopefully, will be in the orange grove area of Heaven.

Cheers,
-Sazerac

Elif Godson · 11-26-2002, 04:11 PM

LOL @ Saz that is tooooooooooooooo funny, I think I would have been like your friend but I dont think I would have made it out back LOL

Im going to be snickering about that all night, oh the imagery.

antryg · 11-26-2002, 10:17 PM

Elif, thank you for the orange. I'll admit that Florida oranges are better than those from the Valley but ruby red grapefruits are from Texas and the ones that you have aren't happy to be away from home so they aren't as sweet as the ones who stayed home in Texas.

Let me give you a peace offering. Have an onion.

SomeGuy · 11-26-2002, 10:22 PM

*Looks at orange and then grabs alot and gives them to his Penguins and gets one for himself.* Mmmmmmm good. *watches as Penguins just peck at it.*

Heartless Butterscotch · 11-26-2002, 10:53 PM

nm

[ 11-27-2002, 03:24 AM: Message edited by: Heartless Butterscotch ]

11-26-2002, 03:35 PM	#11
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	This is told for the truth, although it is many years ago that it happened (Summer of 1983). It's the funniest "orange" story that I know. I was working at the time for an Inventory counting place, where we would travel over the regional area and take physical inventory in grocery stores. Unfortunately, this particular company had a penchant for getting contracts for grocery stores in the seedier parts of the towns and cities we were in. Any way, one particular store we went to was in Beaumont, Texas, in the rougher "oilfield" area of the city. Just for you to understand, there were bars all over the doors and windows, and two armed guards were circling the store all the time. Gave us the danged willies! I think the name of the store was like "Lo-Boy Foods"; obviously one of the lower-end bargain groceries. Anyway, while counting the goods in there, several of us remarked an old, old lady come in wearing a spaghetti-strapped evening gown and high-topped tennis shoes. We were snickering about this, until we noticed her making her way over to the orange counter. She filled her hand basket with oranges and when she could get no more in, started stuffing them down the front of her gown! By now all of us had stopped counting and were just staring at her. She tottled over to the checkout, where she proceeded to unload her oranges...first from the basket, then, by unstrapping her evening gown and letting the oranges free onto the conveyor belt, exposing herself in the process since she had no bra on. She then pulled up her evening gown over herself as if nothing had occurred. One of my friends who was working with me had to run to the back very quickly, because he was about to burst his eardrums holding in the guffaws that he had (he later told me). I just stood there with my mouth wide open. I was only 19 years old at the time and had never seen anything like that before in my life! After we had finished, one of our crew was so emboldened to approach the checker and ask her what was up with the old lady. She said, "Oh, that's nothing; she comes in about every three weeks and does that." Just treated it as natural as anyone coming in to the store. I'll just never quite forget that! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] I'm sure the poor loony old soul has long gone to her greater reward, which, hopefully, will be in the orange grove area of Heaven. Cheers, -Sazerac __________________ "And all my days are trances, and all my nightly dreams, Are where thy grey eye glances, and where thy footstep gleams, In what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams..."

11-26-2002, 04:11 PM	#12
Elif Godson Dracolich Join Date: August 28, 2001 Location: Hurricane Valley Age: 51 Posts: 3,089	LOL @ Saz that is tooooooooooooooo funny, I think I would have been like your friend but I dont think I would have made it out back LOL Im going to be snickering about that all night, oh the imagery. __________________ Children get Arthritis too! http://awtampa.kintera.org/jaaware

11-26-2002, 10:17 PM	#13
antryg Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: August 30, 2002 Location: Dallas, Tx. Age: 21 Posts: 1,765	Elif, thank you for the orange. I'll admit that Florida oranges are better than those from the Valley but ruby red grapefruits are from Texas and the ones that you have aren't happy to be away from home so they aren't as sweet as the ones who stayed home in Texas. Let me give you a peace offering. Have an onion. __________________

11-26-2002, 10:22 PM	#14
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 33 Posts: 4,238	Looks at orange and then grabs alot and gives them to his Penguins and gets one for himself. Mmmmmmm good. watches as Penguins just peck at it. __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
A Clockwork Orange	AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe	Entertainment (Movies, TV Shows and Books/Comics)	12	08-13-2003 06:46 PM
Defense condition ORANGE!	realbinky	General Discussion	7	02-08-2003 05:51 AM
Defense condition ORANGE!	realbinky	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	3	02-07-2003 03:01 PM
Clockwork Orange	uss	Entertainment (Movies, TV Shows and Books/Comics)	15	07-07-2002 07:31 AM
the Last Surviving Orange Turtle Factory	Sir Exxon	General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)	1	12-13-2001 09:34 AM

11-26-2002, 10:53 PM	#15
Heartless Butterscotch The Magister Join Date: November 5, 2002 Location: Marysville, WA Age: 47 Posts: 104	nm [ 11-27-2002, 03:24 AM: Message edited by: Heartless Butterscotch ]

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)