Who's your mentor? - Page 2

johnny · 05-12-2002, 08:24 AM

freddie heineken.

Cloudbringer · 05-12-2002, 09:50 AM

Azred, I hear you! LOL, my grandmother has a very strong work ethic and even now when she's a bit frail physically, she does more than she should.

Rudy, all I can say is I'm definitely disagree to some extent. I mean, being independent enough to get through the rough times alone is fine, but as far as I'm concerned, a committed relationship and a significant other means sharing, compromise, love and a natural interdependence in some areas. It means that although you are assuredly still two individual people you are connected to one another in a very big way. I cannot for the life of me imagine a relationship surviving and growing if one partner (or both) holds back and says "I can only trust myself". I don't see love/trust/committment/caring as a crutch, but as a tool for making me a better person. True there will always be exeptions to the rule and those who do get overly dependent are just that. But it's true that anything can be done to excess, even pumping iron.

Trust is hard won and grievous to lose, but it is the backbone of solid and lasting relationships. Sure, I depend on myself to get me up for work in the morning.. but then my sweetheart is a late sleeper! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Anyway, I'm off to church now, I'll check in later.

RudeDawg · 05-12-2002, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
{snip}
Rudy, all I can say is I'm definitely disagree to some extent. I mean, being independent enough to get through the rough times alone is fine, but as far as I'm concerned, a committed relationship and a significant other means sharing, compromise, love and a natural interdependence in some areas. It means that although you are assuredly still two individual people you are connected to one another in a very big way. I cannot for the life of me imagine a relationship surviving and growing if one partner (or both) holds back and says "I can only trust myself". I don't see love/trust/committment/caring as a crutch, but as a tool for making me a better person. True there will always be exeptions to the rule and those who do get overly dependent are just that. But it's true that anything can be done to excess, even pumping iron.

Trust is hard won and grievous to lose, but it is the backbone of solid and lasting relationships. Sure, I depend on myself to get me up for work in the morning.. but then my sweetheart is a late sleeper! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

I may have written my part a bit badly. I am not saying that weights are my mentor. My mentor's have changed throughout my life. BUT, I am saying that you don't have the right to belittle The Hunter's opinion, which your comments DID. I was pointing out a personal experience to validate it.
I understand your point about relationships. I RARELY am away from Jo, we are even building our business together. We are apart less than a couple of hours most days. I love her, and respect her.
BUT, this discussion is not about relationships. It's about a MENTOR. Someone who is a teacher, a coach and a leader.
I love your example about your grandmother. As often as you've mentioned her, it's obvious she shaped and influenced your life. She is a TRUE mentor.
The Hunter's choice is as valid as those who claim Christ as their mentor. ( a survey done by a Christian businessman's association here in Dallas recently said that 65% claimed Christ or the Lord as their mentor) I used to believe that a mentor would have to be a real life person nurturing me, but have changed my idea. I would have to agree that inanimate objects, books, and historical figures can be, and for some - ARE, mentors. Fortune magazine has said that YODA (the muppet!) is the most mentioned name in mentor list of the world's top executives.
I could name several major influences in my life, but my life-long mentor would have to be my mother, Felipa Hovey (1938-1998). (may she rest in peace)

[ 05-12-2002, 02:07 PM: Message edited by: RudeDawg ]

Cloudbringer · 05-12-2002, 02:36 PM

RudeDawg, just setting the record straight, I've not belittled anyone's opinion, and if you read it that way, it's incorrect. The Hunter seemed bitter at personal relationships (leaving him etc)in general. In addition, I truly feel bad for anyone who cannot claim a connection to another human being in some mentoring fashion in their lives. I think it's an empowering experience and wish everyone had their version of it. That's not belittling, it's simply relaying a feeling engendered by a situation related to me. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Yes, my grandmother is a mentor in my book. No doubt most of us could find several people that have influenced our lives if we think long enough.

Now, I do have to admit, I've never been into weight lifting so I can't say how the experience would be for myself, but it sounds like you and the Hunter have very positive feelings in that respect. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I'm glad to hear you and Jo are happy, too. It's a wonderful thing to find someone you can relate to on that level. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Charean · 05-12-2002, 04:59 PM

A mentor... hmm... aside from the iron (yes, I spent a lot of time with weights myself) I would have to say my best mentor is nature.

Nature teaches with cycles, with survival and with endurance. Many times I have hiked with my doggie and learned lessons taught outside of a classroom.

There have been many books that I have thought well enough of to call an influence as well... but people have never been good mentors for me. They aren't consistent enough.

Belatedly, a mentor to me is something/one you learn from that shows you the truth. There are lessons in life that cannot be taught by anything other than experience. Be it experiencing your body's limits or your mind's. A mentor is something/one who pushes you to your limit and helps you discover who and what is inside. That is a mentor to me. I know my idea isn't anyone else's - nor would I wish it to be. We all need to find our truths in a way that is meaningful for us. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Druish American Princess

Lavindathar · 05-12-2002, 05:57 PM

I'd say myself.

I always pick myself up, and don't burden others with my problems. That's not fair.....you make them feel guilty, and you WANT off of them, no matter how small or insignificant, attention, money, sympathy.

When I need to learn something, I go out and teach myself.

Too many people want to borrow off other people, stability, and things like that. And even when they do get it, they never took it from that person. It's always inside them in the first place....They just don't want to look.

the new JR Jansen · 05-12-2002, 06:10 PM

For me, that would be two people. The two people who took me under their wing when i first started out in sports. They didn't have to do it but they still taught me a lot. They took a young inexperienced guy and played tournament after tournament with him and showed him what he had to do.

@ Cloudy
I do undestrand Hunter's views because if you are doing a sport, wether it be an individual or team sport and wether it is at a competitive level or not, they basically teach you not to trust anybody. Of course if you play a team sport, like i do, you have your teammates and you have to trust them to do their job. What i'm saying is that they teach you to always go out from your own abilities and not worry about the rest. If somebody else screws up, it's on his head. If you screw up, it's on yours. So you better make sure you don't screw up. I'm not saying that you have to be bitter if someone makes a mistake but if it happens you shouldn't and can't blame yourself.

Did that actually made sense ?

Lavindathar · 05-12-2002, 06:36 PM

Ok, I have just re-read the thread. Cloudy, I do agree with Rude's opinion.....you did sorta slate Hunter's op.

I don't know how you can say that relying on yourself is sad. It is the best way. I love my gf Stacey, and have been with her for over a year now. I trust her. But I don't trust her with everything. She can be trusted, but I don't always place my trust in her.

I prefer myself. Also, my above point was proven: you said: "I feel bad for someone who can't find a connection"(or something similar). Who said that he/she wants your sympathy? Offering unwanted sympathy can make someone feel very small, especially if they don't feel that it is warranted. I think that your comments are unjust, when this is an opinionated matter.

I myself have never been a fan of the gym, but if that person feels that there mentor is the Iron, so be it. It is their choice. After all, the question that was posed was : "Who is your mentor?". If they say the Iron, then the Iron it is. I think that it should be left at that, and for you to comment on how that person cannot find a companion either as a partner or a friend is totally out of order. I have many friends, and have had many gf's, but the best place for your problems, is with you (or an inanimate object such as "the iron"). Not burderning anyone else.

/)eathKiller · 05-12-2002, 07:02 PM

my mentor is history for i have learned to not repeat the mistakes of the past...

Smoothie · 05-12-2002, 07:06 PM

I find that no one (aside from family member type role models) really measures up to what a true mentor should be. They always come up short. You really should only concern yourself with yourself is what I have learned from all my supposed "mentors". Nice, huh?

05-12-2002, 08:24 AM	#11
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	freddie heineken. __________________

05-12-2002, 09:50 AM	#12
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	Azred, I hear you! LOL, my grandmother has a very strong work ethic and even now when she's a bit frail physically, she does more than she should. Rudy, all I can say is I'm definitely disagree to some extent. I mean, being independent enough to get through the rough times alone is fine, but as far as I'm concerned, a committed relationship and a significant other means sharing, compromise, love and a natural interdependence in some areas. It means that although you are assuredly still two individual people you are connected to one another in a very big way. I cannot for the life of me imagine a relationship surviving and growing if one partner (or both) holds back and says "I can only trust myself". I don't see love/trust/committment/caring as a crutch, but as a tool for making me a better person. True there will always be exeptions to the rule and those who do get overly dependent are just that. But it's true that anything can be done to excess, even pumping iron. Trust is hard won and grievous to lose, but it is the backbone of solid and lasting relationships. Sure, I depend on myself to get me up for work in the morning.. but then my sweetheart is a late sleeper! [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] Anyway, I'm off to church now, I'll check in later. __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

05-12-2002, 02:36 PM	#14
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	RudeDawg, just setting the record straight, I've not belittled anyone's opinion, and if you read it that way, it's incorrect. The Hunter seemed bitter at personal relationships (leaving him etc)in general. In addition, I truly feel bad for anyone who cannot claim a connection to another human being in some mentoring fashion in their lives. I think it's an empowering experience and wish everyone had their version of it. That's not belittling, it's simply relaying a feeling engendered by a situation related to me. [img]smile.gif[/img] Yes, my grandmother is a mentor in my book. No doubt most of us could find several people that have influenced our lives if we think long enough. Now, I do have to admit, I've never been into weight lifting so I can't say how the experience would be for myself, but it sounds like you and the Hunter have very positive feelings in that respect. [img]smile.gif[/img] I'm glad to hear you and Jo are happy, too. It's a wonderful thing to find someone you can relate to on that level. [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

05-12-2002, 04:59 PM	#15
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	A mentor... hmm... aside from the iron (yes, I spent a lot of time with weights myself) I would have to say my best mentor is nature. Nature teaches with cycles, with survival and with endurance. Many times I have hiked with my doggie and learned lessons taught outside of a classroom. There have been many books that I have thought well enough of to call an influence as well... but people have never been good mentors for me. They aren't consistent enough. Belatedly, a mentor to me is something/one you learn from that shows you the truth. There are lessons in life that cannot be taught by anything other than experience. Be it experiencing your body's limits or your mind's. A mentor is something/one who pushes you to your limit and helps you discover who and what is inside. That is a mentor to me. I know my idea isn't anyone else's - nor would I wish it to be. We all need to find our truths in a way that is meaningful for us. [img]smile.gif[/img] Druish American Princess __________________ And then there were 6.

05-12-2002, 05:57 PM	#16
Lavindathar Harper Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Lancs, England Age: 39 Posts: 4,729	I'd say myself. I always pick myself up, and don't burden others with my problems. That's not fair.....you make them feel guilty, and you WANT off of them, no matter how small or insignificant, attention, money, sympathy. When I need to learn something, I go out and teach myself. Too many people want to borrow off other people, stability, and things like that. And even when they do get it, they never took it from that person. It's always inside them in the first place....They just don't want to look. __________________ =@

05-12-2002, 06:10 PM	#17
the new JR Jansen Drizzt Do'Urden Join Date: May 8, 2002 Location: chocolate land Age: 49 Posts: 696	For me, that would be two people. The two people who took me under their wing when i first started out in sports. They didn't have to do it but they still taught me a lot. They took a young inexperienced guy and played tournament after tournament with him and showed him what he had to do. @ Cloudy I do undestrand Hunter's views because if you are doing a sport, wether it be an individual or team sport and wether it is at a competitive level or not, they basically teach you not to trust anybody. Of course if you play a team sport, like i do, you have your teammates and you have to trust them to do their job. What i'm saying is that they teach you to always go out from your own abilities and not worry about the rest. If somebody else screws up, it's on his head. If you screw up, it's on yours. So you better make sure you don't screw up. I'm not saying that you have to be bitter if someone makes a mistake but if it happens you shouldn't and can't blame yourself. Did that actually made sense ? __________________ JR<br /><br /><br /><br />It\'s me. The guy with the cloak big enough for a fire giant and the long nose.<br />Owner of the most visited woodshed in Ironworks\' history.

05-12-2002, 06:36 PM	#18
Lavindathar Harper Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Lancs, England Age: 39 Posts: 4,729	Ok, I have just re-read the thread. Cloudy, I do agree with Rude's opinion.....you did sorta slate Hunter's op. I don't know how you can say that relying on yourself is sad. It is the best way. I love my gf Stacey, and have been with her for over a year now. I trust her. But I don't trust her with everything. She can be trusted, but I don't always place my trust in her. I prefer myself. Also, my above point was proven: you said: "I feel bad for someone who can't find a connection"(or something similar). Who said that he/she wants your sympathy? Offering unwanted sympathy can make someone feel very small, especially if they don't feel that it is warranted. I think that your comments are unjust, when this is an opinionated matter. I myself have never been a fan of the gym, but if that person feels that there mentor is the Iron, so be it. It is their choice. After all, the question that was posed was : "Who is your mentor?". If they say the Iron, then the Iron it is. I think that it should be left at that, and for you to comment on how that person cannot find a companion either as a partner or a friend is totally out of order. I have many friends, and have had many gf's, but the best place for your problems, is with you (or an inanimate object such as "the iron"). Not burderning anyone else. __________________ =@

05-12-2002, 07:02 PM	#19
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 39 Posts: 6,043	my mentor is history for i have learned to not repeat the mistakes of the past... __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;

05-12-2002, 07:06 PM	#20
Smoothie Manshoon Join Date: October 7, 2001 Location: None Age: 56 Posts: 186	I find that no one (aside from family member type role models) really measures up to what a true mentor should be. They always come up short. You really should only concern yourself with yourself is what I have learned from all my supposed "mentors". Nice, huh? __________________ [url]\"http://dicemen.phpwebhosting.com/dicemen/index.php\" target=\"_blank\">Of Dice and Men</a>

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