Should you smack your children?

Originally posted by mistral4543: First off, I haven't any children, and that this post isn't intended to be imposed on others who have differing views. I just wanted to share my experience as a child, having been caned (which I can assure you, can hurt as much as a smacking/spanking). As a child, whenever I was naughty or disobeyed rules (at one time, I even stole money to buy stationery because I never had spare cash to buy things I liked), I was caned on the hand. When I got my spelling wrong, I was caned for every single wrong word. And once, in school, I was caught talking during assembly, caned twice on the leg, hauled up in front of the assembly and publicly scolded. On that last event, I cried in class for about twenty minutes. Being caned was not a pleasant experience. Especially for the spelling part... I remember my face turning ashen when I discovered the number of mistakes I had made, resignedly handing the cane over to my mum and awaiting her strokes (caning, not petting )... she didn't, after a while. I think she realised how frightened I was, and hard I had tried... and possibly, the fact that my fear could result in a mental block, deteriorating my spelling ability. Do I resent being caned? Well, of course! But I know that I deserved it for most cases (in fact, the only scenario I am not quite sure I agree with to this day is on the spelling one). And yes, to this day, I remember. Could there have been a better way to reform me? I don't know. What I know is that it was effective in my case, and my parents stopped doing that to me by the time I had reached the age of 13. In all likelihood, I might resort to caning my children (if I had any in future) if they got out-of-hand. Perhaps some of you will feel pity for my to-be children, but it is a choice I would have to make. At the end of the day, my desired outcome would be to have disciplined children who know right from wrong and if they were smacked, they would know exactly why.

Oh ouch! I would never cane my children...But I have actively campaigned for it to be used as a form of punishment for petty criminals (especially minors) done in public in their own neighborhood where their firends can witness it so there is no bragging later of "how tough I was", every one would see just what the penalty for those misdemeanor crimes was.....but I digress.

Originally posted by Avatar: My Apologies for phrasing this thread slightly badly. I should have said spanking... Really any for of Phiscal punishment... Cloudy: I agree with you that phiscal pain is not the only thing a child can understand sometimes! [img]smile.gif[/img] But I might have to go with MagiK on pain being probably more effective but not always the best. LadyZ: Wendy! long time no see [img]graemlins/wavey.gif[/img] [img]smile.gif[/img] Animal: A BIG WELCOME as well from me *hugs*

I don't believe I ever ment to convey that pain and spanking were the only discipline tools I use. or that they are the only ones that work...I think I actually have a more balanced approach to this than my father did. As in every life situation, you need to use sound judgement in what you do and how you approach things. I just think there are too many parents around who are afraid to spank their kids for fear of injuring their poor psyche's.

Originally posted by caleb: Would you agree to Mike Tyson smacking you when you did something bad? Then why is it ok to do that to a kid.

What has mike tyson got to do with this?? You are comparing an out of control lunatic to patrents disciplining their children...the whole premise is flawed to say the least.

Just because parents are bigger and stronger than their kids (in most cases) does not mean they are raving lunatics pounding on their children...that may be what a child may think, but in reality it is far different......yes there are pearents who abuse their children..it is sad, but this isn't a thread about them.

[quote]Originally posted by Donut:

My head is just full of useless opinions.

I frequently believe that...but then I calm down and give you the benefit of the doubt

Note, the comment you reffered to has since been ammended by myself.

Originally posted by Donut: quote: Originally posted by khazadman: hot wheels race track on the back of the legs.just a few whacks will do the trick.i should know.my parents used it on six of their eight kids and it worked.but i do not agree with hitting a kid on the head.

Both Magik and khazadman were beaten by their parents as children. Things are becoming a lot clearer to me now. [/QUOTE]Whatch the phraseology guy, I was never beaten by my parents. If you cannot distinguish the difference between spanking and beating you show that your views in this thread are less than ... useful.

Originally posted by Melusine: quote: Originally posted by John D Harris: Oh by the way to ALL of you that are crying about MagiK not wanting to pay much attention to the opinions of those that don't have or are still childern themselves. WOE to you HYPOCRITS and FOOLS, HOW DARE YOU! It seems to be OK for YOU to not except MagiK's opinions on this matter, yet IT's not OK for HIM to do the same thing that you are!!!!! And to you people that LOVE to spout off at the mouth and call others arrogant, well you might want to get a dictionary and look up the word arrogant! Then look up the words that are used in the difinition of arrogant. Then try appling it to your posts and see how they stack up.

Calm down, will you?
The difference is that no one here is telling MagiK that his opinion is USELESS or that he isn't allowed to post it. Some of us just disagree with it. THAT'S the difference.[/QUOTE]Well I do believe it was a bit more harsh than just disagreeing with me [img]smile.gif[/img] But I didn't take any of it personally since I purposely used blunt terminology and did over state my meaning with the "useless" post.

Originally posted by Memnoch: I realize that this is a somewhat emotional subject as some of you will feel strongly about this issue. You're all welcome to debate it, as long as you do so in a manner that is respectful to your fellow members here. You've all been here long enough to know what the score at Ironworks is. Majik, your opinion is as valued here as anyone's, but try not to flamebait people to try and get inflammatory reactions from them. Calling people's opinion's useless because they don't meet a certain set of SUBJECTIVE criteria that you have set will hardly endear them to reply to you in an intelligent, rational way. You may as well call them ignorant idiots who don't know what they're talking about. This comes pretty close to troller behaviour - not in terms of abusive language, but in terms of trying to get a reaction from people by goading them. Now I don't personally care what your opinion is, or if you want a lively, energetic debate - as long as you treat the opinion of your fellow members with respect - be they young or old, married or single, with or without children. We don't smack people down here and belittle them for expressing their opinion. And to those who responded in an inflammatory way? You did exactly what Majik wanted you to do - you took the bait. Gave him the stoush he was looking for. Now BEHAVE, everyone. Let's debate this issue like sensible people. Just remember that the name of the game is not to post to try and piss people off - at least not here at Ironworks, anyway. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Message received Memsy [img]smile.gif[/img] However, I used blunt terminolgy yes...but the meaning behind it stands, I do think people who have never had to actually be REAL parents really do not know what they are talking about..they may be quite knowlegeable on the theory, but without practical application it doesnt mean squat....I will however attempt to be a bit more ...polite in the future.

Originally posted by Black Dragon: I don't think any one has the right to smack anybody no matter how much more power they got over them. My dad smacked me once before, I didn't speak or look at him for a week and a half, he never hit me again since!!

So in other words YOU were more powerful than your father because you "paid him back" for punishing you....that rally is a very childish post. Kids with that attitude "Im tougher" than my old man are usually not what they "SAY" they are. Spanking is NOT about power kiddo, punishment is about teaching your child how to behave and the difference between right and wrong. The very fact that you felt you could get even with your parent indicates a lack of respect on your part. You owe your dad an apology.

Originally posted by Sazerac: One thing is for certain: You alone know best how to raise your children. I would no sooner tell someone how to raise their kids than I would hope no one would come into my classroom and tell me how to instruct them. Different styles, different methods...if they work, and are non-abusive, then I'd say let it ride. -Sazerac

Saz, I got to disagree with you about this a little...only the parent has a right to determine how to raise their child, but society and others who have to "put up with" the little monsters you might let roam will also have a say in the matter. They will show thier displeasure in how they treat you and your children may invite local law enforcement into the fray...so it bears mentioning, that the parent has an obligation to raise their child responsibly to be a suitable member of the society you expect him/her to live in.

Too Often I hear a distraught single parent say "I have tried every thing" about an unruly kid...only they havent really....the truth tis they have actually tried very little......Of course my current neighborhood is more apt to have this problem than the one Im moving to soon.

[ 05-17-2002, 12:15 PM: Message edited by: MagiK ]

Originally posted by Cloudbringer: LOL! MagiK does your wife ever get the last word on anything?

Well actually in reality she gets the last word on everything...why do you think I post here

Whew, now Im all caught up [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 05-17-2002, 12:20 PM: Message edited by: MagiK ]