The One-Eyed Wolf - Utter Chaos

[mistral4543]

After an eternity, she clenches her fists and tears herself from the pillow. Sitting up, she sees Isabeau's beady eyes gazing at her with concern. ~ I'm fine, Isabeau... really... ~

Her face uncomfortable from the layer of dried tears on her cheeks, she gets out of the bed and walks slowly towards the basin. Taking a deep breath, she plunges her hands into the icy water, scoops it up and begins splashing her face with it.

I have been crying far too often now, a mere ghost of what I had been back at Ursula's fighting society... I have nothing left but my own dignity, and if I abandon it, I lose everything... ~ Making her way to the window, she stares at the rising sun ~ I must get a grip on myself somehow... I do not want Larry's pity or despise... yet it is so very hard... ~ Her fingers taps the ledge restlessly ~ At the first sign of his contempt or displeasure, I will leave. I do not mean to be a burden to him... but if he should love me as much as he proclaims, I will gladly stay by his side... ~

The birds outside the window begin to chirp and she manages a weak smile ~ This is a new beginning for me... I was too obstinate and arrogant in the past... this is a new Mistral arising... I only hope it is not too late to make amends to those I have offended... ~

[Kaz]

Kaz continued, voice shaking. "Shattered. My past exploded, everything whirled together, nothing made sense, just fragments, in no order, unconnected, vivid, too vivid..." she breaks off, realizing she is babbling.
"Even now, much of my memory is... shattered. Gone to pieces. I grasp at fragments, and they hurt, yet do not help. Many years after that are still a complete mystery to me. I believe I completely lost my mind for a while...
Then somebody found me. A mage, I cannot remember his name. Realizing I had magical talent, he took me in and trained me. I slowly started to regain my sanity, but it was hardly possible. The mage was... assassinated... I do not remember by who, I think they were Drow, that time is still murky. I started wandering. Some years ago, I found the way to get control of my thoughts, but it was harsh. I completely locked away my past. I did not remember anything, yet I was able to think again. I managed, only remembering that there was something in my past which it was better not to remember, until I met Larry, Mistral and Chani. They seemed so... obsessed... with their past, it hurt me that I had none and would never have one. So... a short time ago, I opened my past. I wished to know what had happened, who I was... but I had never prepared for this. I almost lost my mind again, I am trying to control it but it is difficult..."
Kaz looked up bitterly, "And as if it is not enough, only a few days ago I realized my problems are hardly over..." She whispers, tears gathering in her eyes. "I fell asleep and I dreamed - of the demon. He knows I am aware of him, he says he has put something of himself into me. He will torture me until the end of time... every night he torments me in my dreams, and when I wake up I know it is real... it is real..."
Kaz breaks off, staring at the floor.

[Kaz]

OOC: Mistral, my raven should've delivered that letter by now.

[SSJ4Sephiroth]

I can tell that you've had a hard past, but dont worry, we'll be here. Hopefully you can make new memories with us, happy ones this time. And if you wish to be free of this demon, then... we will help you with that too. But we will never leave your side, unless you wish us to. Am I REALLY saying this?

[Neb]

"Kaz, when I say that you would fill the void within me that my revenge now fills, know that your revenge will fill that void too, your revenge shall become mine, I shall aid you against this.... creature, if you let me, otherwise I shall travel my own separate ways."

[Kaz]

"I would be glad to have you help me, yet I do not know how. He torments me... even in day, he torments me..." Kaz turns away, hoping that they do not see the tears fall.

[SSJ4Sephiroth]

I do not know how you would get him into corporeal form for us to battle him, but there must be a way. However, I think it would be best to wait for us to meet with the others before we try anything brash... the demon would have us in its grasp then too.

[mistral4543]

Just then, a raven flies into the room and she recognises it ~ "Aerynkoryk! What are you doing here?" ~ Hurriedly, she checks his feet and notices a piece of parchment tied to it. She beckons to him and extracts the letter:

My dear sister,
When you read this, I will be gone. I cannot take this anymore. Hearing you, Larry and Chani speak of your past made me decide to confront my own, which I had forgotten since many years. I had hoped to find peace, but what I found there... is too horrible to put in words, torn, shattered...Yet I do not write this letter to tell you of my troubles, Mistral. I write to tell you that I am leaving. I believe staying close to me will only bring you pain.
Perhaps I shall return one day, but I doubt it. If I cannot find peace in life, I shall in death...

Her face turns pale ~ I've been too occupied with my own problems. Now Kaz has abandoned me... not, I must go after her at once! ~ She grabs her belongings and turns the door knob, ready to leave in search of her sister.

Isabeau and Aerynkoryk hover beside her, ready to accompany her on her quest.

[Neb]

Neb picked up his pointy wizard's hat which he'd dropped when Seph had knocked him over, "I think it might be better if I left you two however, there are still many assasins after me, you two would be safer without me." Neb then walked through the doorway and starting heading into the forest, northwards.

[Kaz]

Kaz jerked up. "No, Neb. Don't leave... I know you have people hunting for you, but we can deal with them... whereas I..." her breath comes short "need someone to help me when I completely lose my mind... again..." Kaz jerks in pain as her hand seems to burn red-hot.

OOC: Sorry, I NEED BED! Good nighzzzzzzzzzzzzz......